To not want to leave DS overnight?

[onemumtwocountries]

Am I being precious? PFB?

We have a couple of events coming up this summer that would require us leaving DS overnight (with PILs). I've said to DH I'll either not go or go and leave early/drive back (one event it's 2.5 hours away so not easy).

DS will be 1 in the summer. I don't really have a reason other than I don't want to leave him. PILs are capable but I just don't feel like leaving him. DH says it's unhealthy for me not to want to leave him.

AIBU? Should I want to leave him overnight at this stage?

YANBU

There's no "should". You just do it when you're ready. If you don't feel ready, don't do it.

Yanbu, if you're not ready that's perfectly ok.

Also, it's not 'unhealthy' in the slightest. It's just not the right time for you yet. Some folk do it within a couple of months, for others it takes much longer. I have a friend who's never left her 7 and 4 year old's overnight since the day they were born. They come here for sleepovers with her, I babysit sometimes when she goes out with her DH, she just hasn't ever wanted to leave them yet. It works for them.

YANBU. Do whatever suits you.

DD is 2.5 and we still haven't had a night where we both left her overnight. Partly my anxiety, partly my mum's, partly nothing came up that really required it.

Thanks. I know things change quickly with babies but I'm still BFing and he doesn't sleep through, which adds to my dilemma.

I've never left my almost 4 year old overnight or tbh much during day/evening. My husband and I go out separately or wait until she's asleep and our elder daughter(17) is happy for us to go out then. What works for one family doesnt necessarily work for another.

Sorry but yes, you are being a bit PFB.
The child will be 1 not a tiny baby. Yeh there will be a raft of martyrs posters who never ever leave their kids until they are 18 but seriously, go have a bloody child free night out with your husband.

ijustwannadance my anxiety is not me being a martyr

Your DS is not even 1, you're still breastfeeding him, he doesn't sleep well....but most importantly you don't want to leave him.

So don't leave him. Nothing unhealthy about it.

YANBU

Ive got my grandchild tomorrow and he's 10 weeks old ...
It works for us
But I NEVER left my children overnight with anyone until they were about 2 yo

YANBU

I have a just turned 2 year old and I have left him overnight with my mum twice and both times - they were both very recent as well and to be honest with you I couldn't relax either!

No, but the op hasn't said her reason is anxiety.

I have a 1 yr old to that I'm still BF, I've left him overnight (for work) with my hubby.
Whilst they both survived he was very unsettled & a bit of a handful as he so used to bf for comfort/sleep if you don't need to leave him I wouldn't.
I wouldn't have left my pfb at this age but then he's number 3 so both my hubby & I have more confidence iyswim.
I would be telling you hubby not to be so ridiculous give it a year or so and it will be fine & a secure in infants is very healthy.

YANBU. If your not going to enjoy having a night without him then don't. Why make yourself do something your not happy about.

I think it's a bit odd really, Considering the people you are leaving him with have been perfectly capable of looking after children in the past.

That should say....a secure attachment to parents in infants
Don't what happened there!

YANBU
Also even if you were what would be the point if you couldn't enjoy yourself? They are wee for such a short time there will be other events.

Highalert Yes they're capable and they have had/will have DS in the day occasionally - but nighttime is a different matter and as some posters have said I think it will just cause a(n even more) upset night. I might be wrong but why risk it if I'm not bothered about going away?

If you don't want to then you don't have to, I didn't leave my first until he was 18 months, I didn't see the point in both of us having a upset night when I could just stay home

Must admit my second is 5 months and shes staying overnight with her brother at my sisters for the second week in a row lol

Don't leave your baby.

Your baby will be fine. But if you won't then its not worth it really.

PFB aged 4 now has never had a night without DH, she will not sleep over at my parents/ with her cousins.
DD 2, came out of hospital, post c section, on Tuesday and went across the country for Mil's funeral on the Thursday. Had to leave her with my DM at less than week old.

Different things work for different children/parents and you know how your DS would be with/out you. YANBU, it's your child, do what is best for you both...what gives you peace of mind. It's a longer drive for a decent nights rest, rather than worrying.

• I came out of hospital