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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

bad idea for a bolting toddler

53 replies

eeniemeenieminiemoe2014 · 02/06/2017 19:59

DD has suspected ASD and is 2.5. She is horrendous for bolting, she has reigns but can unclip them, I physicaly can not.get her into a pushchair and if I do then she can undo them anyway. I also have 8 month old baby so Im not always able to be thay quick at running after her.

would it be wrong to get a little badge to pin onto the back of her clothing with my number and to say she has suspect ASD?

OP posts:
Faithless12 · 02/06/2017 20:01

Aren't the reins done up behind her not in front? I don't see an issue with clipping your number to her but not sure how other people would react.

Crunchymum · 02/06/2017 20:02

I think you need to find a better solution Shock

Waiting until a random finds her and hopefully rings you isn't going to protect her from roads and other non human things that will compromise her safety.

Crunchymum · 02/06/2017 20:02

Have you tried the backpack reins?

2014newme · 02/06/2017 20:04

Reins do up at the back, how does she get them undone?

FathomsDeepAndFallingFurther · 02/06/2017 20:04

You need a better solution. Even if somebody finds her nad rings you, what about traffic, roads etc. My NT DD was a bolder. I managed to find a pair of 80s style leather reins that did up with a buckle at the back and sides. She had no way of undoing those!

FathomsDeepAndFallingFurther · 02/06/2017 20:04

*bolder? Bolter!

Original poster
eeniemeenieminiemoe2014 · 02/06/2017 20:05

backpack reigns she can undo, the ones that do up behind she can slip out of although they take her a little longer.

I dont let just randoms find her Im normally hot on her heels but like this morning when we were at a farm and i was feeding her brother and all of a sudden she just ran and ran and ran, it gives her a head start when i have to stop feeding him and get up and she was gone.

its a nightmare

OP posts:
followTheyellowbrickRoad · 02/06/2017 20:07

I was going to suggest them to fathoms

Applesandpears23 · 02/06/2017 20:07

Put the rein harness on then add a tshirt over the top to stop her unclipping them. My daughter isn't a bolter but she does wear a bracelet with my phone number on it just in case.

WellErrr · 02/06/2017 20:08

Two sets of reins, twisted into each other and clipped under shoulder blades.she wouldn't get out before you could catch her.

OR string tied around her chest and held with the reins. She wouldn't undo a knot.

Original poster
eeniemeenieminiemoe2014 · 02/06/2017 20:08

roads i normally have her reigns wrapped round my wrists and then I hold her hands pretty much as tight as i can get, bruised her yesterday stopping her bolting.

the main issue is supermarkets and shopping centres and parks as sometimes i need two hands so have to rely on the reigns around my wrist and not holding her hand too

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 02/06/2017 20:09

Duct tape on the reins clip. I'm not joking. DD was a bolster and I swear it's taken a decade off my life.

You can also get wristbands with name and contact details just in case. But that's a plan B and only if your LO will tolerate them mine wouldn't.

WellErrr · 02/06/2017 20:09

Ooh yes I remember the old buckle ones! They were usually leather.
Yes, much better than my string idea 😂

Original poster
eeniemeenieminiemoe2014 · 02/06/2017 20:09

will try the two sets simulataneously!

shes starting to get too big for them so hoping this stops soon :(

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 02/06/2017 20:09

And hold wrist not hand. Much more secure and less bruises.

picklemepopcorn · 02/06/2017 20:11

Try an ID bracelet? Or a bangle with the number on? Basically, I know it's hard, but you have to engineer it so she can't get away from you. Put a layer on over the reins, to slow her down. Always secure her before you look after your other DCs.

Cassimin · 02/06/2017 20:11

When my two were young I used the straps that went around their wrist. I found these easier as I had two to control.
My youngest has ASD and he too bolts. Usually when he is anxious. Now try to avoid any places that may make him anxious.

BlurryFace · 02/06/2017 20:13

There are reins that do up in the back? News to me, mine do up at the side.

OP, definitely look into different reins and such, but a badge isn't a bad idea as an extra precaution, my sister with SN used to have one when she was younger as her speech was (still is but to a lesser extent) heavily slurred so people who didn't know her couldn't understand what she was telling them.

Aworldofmyown · 02/06/2017 20:13

I do sympathise but you can't just let her run and hope for the best.

That is coming from the parent of a bolter.

Can you get a different buggy with less easy to undo straps?

AnnetteCurtains · 02/06/2017 20:13

hold just above the wrist on the long bone

mummabearfoyrbabybears · 02/06/2017 20:16

Old fashioned leather buckle reins were my saviour when DS4 was toddling.

user1492287253 · 02/06/2017 20:16

there are special harnesses for bolters if you consult google. not cheap

Original poster
eeniemeenieminiemoe2014 · 02/06/2017 20:17

to be fair i was thinking of it more as a last resort back up incase i do lose her as she has very very little speech and certainly nothing of any use.

I cant afford a new buggy sadly and certainly not one with trickier straps.

are there any tips for the car seats, she is horrendous in the car too and the houdini thing doesnt work on her!

OP posts:
mummabearfoyrbabybears · 02/06/2017 20:54

Get a chest strap that the Americans have. I bought mine from eBay.com (American site). Cost me less than £3. There are safety concerns about not being able to release the child after an accident but I weighted up the risks and mine never escaped again.

Bejeena · 02/06/2017 21:05

Give yourself an easy life and just don't go to the supermarket or shopping centre until your husband is home to watch them. Parks, mmm a bit harder but I used to be hot on his heels and keep baby in pram so could quickly bolt after.

It does end at some point though