New etiquette for modern life

[user1485342611]

The world has changed so much in recent times that maybe we should come up with new rules for how not to piss off your fellow citizens.

Rule one

If you are in a cinema or a theatre or at a church ceremony switch off your phone. Just - switch - it- off- and-leave-it-off-until-it-is-time-to-go.

Feel free to add rule 2.

Rule 2 -

Calling someone now is considered rude and triggering. Everybody must text or Whatsapp instead.

If you do not have a child in the pushchair, please fold it should another chair want to get on the bus. (just had to wait 3 buses because of empty pushchairs)

If someone is engaging in a conversation with you, keep your phone in your pocket until the conversation is over!

If listening to music through headphones, keep the volume down so we don't all have to hear the tinny beat.

If you're in a restaurant and you see children playing on iPads don't loudly state "we never had bloody technology when I were a lad, they'll all grow up ignorant pigs at this rate" because a) you have no idea how much/little time those children have on iPads and b) it's not your place to judge and c) sometimes parents just need a fucking lovely glass of wine in peace without the DCs fighting over every single thing (case in point; DS2 whining "he's looking at me, stop him from looking at me" in a restaurant for 37 minutes before I lost it, took him to the loo and handed out a verbal warning for severe asshattery recently).

If you're stealing someone's meme, have the courtesy to like their meme first. Not liking it before yoinking it is downright poor manners.

If you're using Facebook, please it's clear statuses that don't invite "what's up Hun?" comments.

It's = post

If you're in a restaurant and you give your little darlings ipads or phones to amuse them, for the love of fuck also give them headphones or turn the sodding volume off.
The rest of us do not want to hear peppa pig or the noises of their games, its incredibly anti-social and twatty.

Inspired by another thread: saving seats for others on commuter trains is totally unacceptable.

Don't use Facebook like google. If you want to know when the next bus is coming just google it

If you're in a restaurant and you give your little darlings ipads or phones to amuse them, for the love of fuck also give them headphones or turn the sodding volume off.

Yes!

NEVER "pop in" in someone without prior consent.

If they have not invited you or if you have not text to ask to visit beforehand then don't be surprised to see them legging it into the kitchen or dropping to the floor in an army crawl.

Oh noooo Reow I love it when people do that!

Groupie I agree. I've been failing to get hold of somebody (work-related) recently and have emailed repeatedly. He's finally emailed back to say that he's left me loads of voice messages and has called me loads. RAGE

EMAIL ME OR TEXT ME YOU FUCKWIT

These things always become so reactionary. My rule would be: things not being exactly the same as they were when you were young isn't actually a sign of terrible moral degradation. 1972 wasn't actually the peak of human existence.

@GinGeum You love it when people turn up uninvited? Argh! It's my worst nightmare!

You don't need to provide copious amounts of photo evidence to prove that you are having a lovely time on your holiday/night out/date night. It kind of makes it look like you're not actually having a very nice time because you're spending it messing with your phone rather than enjoying yourself.

If you're walking down the street and someone pushing a pram or in a wheelchair is walking in the opposite direction, be the one to move over. It's easier to redirect your two feet than a pushchair/wheelchair. Also if said pushchair/wheelchair obviously move to one side of the path, move to the other side of the fucking path!

Wear deodorant so you don't stink up the tube

No comedy ringtones in the workplace.

If you leave your phone at your desk before you go to a meeting elsewhere in the building, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD turn the ringer off. Especially if you have failed to adhere to the comedy ringtone rule.

Following on from*April don't use forums (esp mumsnet) instead of google

"What is the weather in Spain like in June? Should I bring a coat?"

Don't use Facebook to have a slanging match with your partner, mother, best friend etc.
If your partner is sitting next to you chat to them rather than doing it on Facebook.

If you're walking down the street and someone pushing a pram or in a wheelchair is walking in the opposite direction, be the one to move over. It's easier to redirect your two feet than a pushchair/wheelchair. Also if said pushchair/wheelchair obviously move to one side of the path, move to the other side of the fucking path!

This with bells on

Do not excuse the fact that your children are out playing until all hours and annoying the neighbours by saying 'you should be glad they're not sitting inside on their X box.'

The fact that you cannot think of any other way of keeping your child amused for a couple of hours before bed time is not the neighbours' problem.

If you are having a medical scan please turn your phone off, as requested by notices in the waiting room. If you forget and it rings don't answer it. Really, why would you think that is acceptable.

If you bring your children and give them your phone or iPad to keep them quite, turn the volume down. Do you really think I don't need to concentrate?