Allergies, food and breastfeeding... oh my

[DuckAndPancakes]

Help...
Nearly 10 month old son has been diagnosed with milk allergy (finally, after waiting three months for a referral and testing). The consultant has completely knocked me on my arse. We started the weaning journey at around six months, DS wasn't interested in foods at all. No big deal, we thought. Slowly started to become more interested when the signs of milk allergy showed up. He was into cheese, but it made him projectile vomit afterwards. He was into porridge made up with cows milk, but it made him sick after. I realised the issue was milk so stopped giving him anything with milk in it.

We tried constantly to be giving him bits of food, anything really that he would try. He continued to not be interested but breastfed well and continues to do so. He's still not interested in food though.

At the appointment with consultant, she basically told me that I need to withhold breastfeeding from him to make him hungry and encourage him to eat solid food instead. Despite the fact he's tolerated certain foods that have got traces of milk in them, we have now been told that he's to exclude absolutely everything. She told me my breast milk is low in iron and that he is at high risk for anemia because he's not eating food and not being given formula.

I spent all of last night feeling like a total failure and that I've been getting it all wrong. I thought that making sure he was fed in some capacity was the best thing for me to be doing and now I feel like I've made it all worse. Searching the amount of iron he needs (11mg a day apparently) and I can't work out how I'm supposed to get that in him.

I'm conflicted. Any help or advice appreciated :(

Don't give yourself a hard time about this- the need for iron is not widely publicised so it is easy to not know about it. You've been doing what you had every reason to think was best.

Did the consultant make any suggestions on foods that would be good for iron absorbtion? Could you ask for a referral to a dietitian or someone who could help?

If your ds liked porridge could you try making it with water rather than milk and adding other ingredients to it?

Well, I thought that babies don't understand that eating (food) feeds them up? So not sure how withholding breastfeeding would help. My son certainly eats more (food) when he is not hungry.

You can give vit d supplements. I have drops that you drop on your nipple once per day before feeding. I usually forget. It's not a big deal and giving them is easy so not sure they need to be making a song and dance about anemia etc.

I'd continue to offer a variety of foods and breastfeed as and when your baby wants it. My ds at that age didn't eat very well until he tasted my curry, I ended up using curry powder in everything. It lasted a few weeks but did get him interested in food. Porridgecsn be made with your milk, it'll have a different consistency. Spaghetti bolognese would have iron from the meat and Vit C from the tomatoes which help absorb iron. Another favourite of my kids was tins of 'no salt no sugar' corn from Tesco, I'd put a load of the corn on the table which they'd pick up (helping their pincer grasp) and eat, I'd sometimes feed them dinner while they were eating it. The corn doesnt digest as it's not chewed but it's fun. Breastmilk is still very important to your child.

Pop over to the allergy board from some advice from those that have gone through it. There are lots of alternatives to using cow's milk in porridge.

My Ds has CMPA and didn't really take to solids until he was over a year old in the meantime i was breastfeeding him.

You are doing fine. Please don't think you are failing because you are not.

You can use breast milk to make porridge, or porridge fingers in the microwave. Things like avocado, broccoli, mince, nut butters, spinach, beans are all easy to eat and iron rich

The best source of iron is meat. There is iron in vegatables but that type of iron is more difficult for the body to absorb. Cook some mince beef and blend a little with something he does eat. Gradually increase the proportion of mince meat up over time.

Try not to worry you are DEFO not a failure!!! totally not your fault that the system could not get referral quickly and you had to wait so long for professional advice. And in that situation you are just doing the best you can. And as a previous poster said, the stuff about iron is not easy/simple and not well publicised (for some bizarre reason I have never been able to fathom), so what can you do when you don't have access to professional advice?!
Only a few suggestions, please try not to worry tho and I really hope things improve from here. Bear in mind that BM is really helpful in assisting absorption of iron from food. So that is great. (the lactoferrin in it). You can get quite a few iron-fortified porridges/cereals and can look for one which is milk free. For example you can even look at stuff like Reddy Brek (?! my kids love it) - last time I checked, it has no added salt or sugar amazingly, plus it has iron, and other fortified things to. You would need to make it up with your BM or another type of milk drink/product your baby can take and tolerate.
There are other things/options, like Weetabix (need to check if contains any milk, but I doubt it). That is iron fortified as well, I think.
As someone posted, red meats are also one of the best, eggs are not to be ignored too. Veggies good (for so many reasons) but the iron in them aren't that well absorbed. Legumes (beans etc) are okay and often liked by kids.
for the vitD issue, this is obviously needed by babies, but nothing to do with iron/anemia which is a totally different nutrient!
Finally, I would hope you can get a dietician referral or advice as well? Is that possible? given the situation would think that it is merited and they can help devise meal/food ideas in the context of the allergy and other situations. They can also advise on whether any supplements are needed should baby really be not taking any food at all. But the best is to gradually try and acclimate baby to enjoying foods. Here are some ideas, but not developed specifically for a milk allergic baby.
scienceofmom.com/2011/08/31/practical-ways-to-increase-iron-in-your-baby%E2%80%99s-diet/
have you got everything sorted for your breastmilk being dairy free? Are you on a supplement for that? I think calcium is normally recommended for mums who are BF and going dairy free.
Also see this info on GPIFN (uk site for health prof's to do with breastfeeding and infant nutrition) - gpifn.org.uk/cmpa/
gpifn.org.uk/breastfeeding-a-baby-with-cmpa/ (this tells you what supplements YOU need if you are dairy free, to make sure your nutrient needs are fulfilled and enough is going into your milk for baby).
You didn't say if it was CMPA, so apologies if I've mistranslated.
Be sure to check stuff with your health prof's as I am not one!!!

Thank you for all of your replies.

Yes it is CMPA that he has, luckily I'd got myself as well informed as possible with that regard whilst we were waiting for referral.

The Doc said that dietician referral was a "maybe" if he still wasn't eating at a year old. We've been trying to make an extra special effort to try him with things and offering him solids as much as possible.

I think he now has an aversion to anything smooth or off a spoon as he totally seizes up. We have however had some luck with cheerios (dried or with oat milk) this morning which has given me a bit of faith.

Why does it seem that iron is so important for a 6-12 month old but there are no supplements for it other than in formula? (Which again doc was pushing big time)

You can get iron fortified baby porridge and iron fortified adult or child cereals too. And there are iron supplements but would think doctor or dietician recc for that rather than doing off you own bat. Can make baby bit constipated. Did they do bloods for the iron? To check if iron deficient?

My DD had iron supplement (preemie) and you could give it to her directly or in her milk. It really is unpleasant though and food would be better

There are supplements for it that babies can take - take a look in Boots or somewhere. I use the drops I put on my nipples but there were many different types. All from 6 months.

Iirc, the no milk thing (probably including you as your breastfeeding) is to stop the low level reaction from worsening. It's worth trying for a bit and seeing what he's like.

Drops for babies, including iron exist first Amazon one I found

We were recommended calcium fortified oat milk as a milk substitute. Make up poridge etc with that.

If you had !over him on o formula, then you would have had a baby where everything you have him made him I'll. By bf to 6 months, you have done an amazing thing.

fwiw, I refused to go see one particular gp again after he had told me I had starved ds1 by breastfeeding, and not introducing solids til nearly 6 months (when we reacted to milk). He handed me over to a colleague part way through the consultation, not sure if that was because I was questioning him, or he was out of his depth.

You can get a liquid iron supplement, DS was given it as he was prem.

Is there a reason why you can't give the non dairy formula that your doctor is encouraging?

I'm on child number 3 and have found with all of them that they really weren't fussed about solids until around the age of 12/13 months. They'd have little tasters of food and other mealtimes wouldn't touch any at all.

Then all of a sudden they became more interested. All 3 have been like this.

Your little boy is getting what he needs still from your milk and when he wants to eat hell gradually start increasing naturally.

No no no don't withhold breast milk. That is really poor advice. Continue to feed on demand. Meat is great for iron and consequently La Leche League recommend it as a first food. I haven't got time to read the full thread, sorry, but will check back later. My child has a long list of allergies and I am breastfeeding. Do pm me if you need any advice. It is quite a learning curve learning how to feed a child with allergies :)

My ds has a cow's milk allergy - found out when weaning was going very, very badly. Trying to withhold breast feeding is terrible advice. The only think I did try to do was not to give him food shortly after a breastfeed as he really wouldn't be hungry. Ds didn't really 'get' eating until he was about 15/16 months old. Barely ate anything - a few spoonfuls of this and that here and there. He only maintained his weight percentile because he was breastfeeding - if I'd cut back on breastfeeding, I'm not sure what he would have been living on. Air?Saw gp, pediatric dietician and allergist and none of them had any concerns about him eating very small amounts and mostly breastfeeding... food is fun until you're one... and for a while after that in my ds's case. They advised vitamin drops (Abidec) and calcium supplements for me as I gave up dairy until my ds was 20 months or so to breastfeed. No mention of iron - but I know baby supplements are available as my ds was prescribed them when he was born (a month early). I thought that the iron drops and vitamin drops tasted disgusting but ds really liked them. We also made lots of his food with rice milk (which was the dairy alternative he seemed to like the best) and chose a brand that is fortified with various different nutrients.

I'm really sorry the consultant alarmed you - it's so easy to get stressed when you have a baby with allergies that won't eat. I used to sob through meal times with ds. But it was so silly in retrospect. He now eats reasonably well, is perfectly healthy and may, in fact, have grown out of the dairy allergy as most children do. I wish I hadn't wasted so much time getting upset about it!

My nearly one year old has cmpa but we were diagnosed much earlier as she reacted to my breast milk. We use almond milk for cooking and coconut yoghurt etc. My dd will eat smooth purée and finger foods but won't eat lumpy food e.g. Cottage pie that's not been processed. Our dietician just said to keep persisting and she'll get there eventually. But at around 9 months she stopped eating and only wanted milk. Her loo went back to breastfed poo. Eventually realised (after being fobbed off by gp's) that her silent reflux wasn't under control so it put her off eating. Has yours got that? It's been a lot better since getting her silent reflux meds sorted. Many cmpa babies also have silent reflux.

And don't feel guilty. If I hadn't gone to the dietician I would have know that cmpa babies need to stay on breast milk or milk free formula until they're two as you can't give them say almond milk instead of cow's milk for drinks. Nowhere near good enough apparently.

*wouldn't

Meh. My DD wasn't into food until she was over a year old. I know own if many paeds who agree with 'good before 1 is mainly for fun' - especially if a babe breastfeeds well.

Arg- I know many paeds who agree with 'food before 1 is mainly for fun'

acquiescence
I don't really want to give DS formula. He's been happily breastfed for 10 months, won't take a bottle and haven't really had need for him to. Trying to introduce a formula milk as well as trying to encourage him to eat food etc just seems like overloading him as well.

I was advised by GP at first consultation that me cutting out dairy was pointless as he'd tolerated it through my milk for 6 months already. I cut it out for a month anyway and still didn't notice any difference to him or his behaviours etc.

Consultant suggested it and then seemed confused and not sure if I should or not. Suggested that low level intolerance/allergy to CMP in my milk was what was stopping him from eating because he was in discomfort.

Trying to find the thin line between overly hungry and therefore stressed at not being given boob and empty enough stomach that he'll try things.

DS was born on 50th centipede, dropped to 25th by the time he was a few weeks old and has followed the 9th since around a month. I think. He's dropped just below the 9th line recently but I do wonder if it's because he is EXTREMELY mobile (crawling at speed, furniture cruising, climbing...)

We've had a really stressful move over the last two weeks so I think everything with this has penetrated my usually thicker skin more.

I'd kept the mantra of "food for fun until they're one" in the forefront of my mind, but maybe I was wrong!!

She kept asking about reflux but as far as I know he has no symptoms of it.

Well, after reading about silent reflux I'm now wondering if it is a possibility or if I'm reading too much into it.