To say no to MIL giving DD money for her school trip?

[Rollergirl1]

She's going next week. They are allowed to take a maximum of £25 (provided by me) and they have already handed the money in to school in a named envelope to be distributed each day.

Had a text from MIL saying to give DD £20 spending money from her and she will give to me when she sees me. I'm not sure when that will be. I replied back to MIL saying a nice thought but it's already been handed in so not to worry.

Now DH has called me saying MIL a bit put out as she wanted to give DD some money for her school trip. What does she expect me to do? Give DD a further £20 from Granny just for nothing and then me be out of pocket further more?

You could've just said thanks and then when she gave you the £20 you keep it then she's paid £20 and you've paid £5.

Well why don't you just accept the £20 off MIL when you see her abs tell DD that Granby kindly provided her spending money

Why would you be out of pocket?

What DoesAnyoneReadTheseThings said.

You could've just said thanks and then when she gave you the £20 you keep it then she's paid £20 and you've paid £5

^this

I would have just agreed and not given DD an extra £20. You aren't out of pocket.

I don't see the problem? MiL would just be replacing the money you've handed in, tell DD it's from granny?

Sounds like your MIL was being kind. I'd go with the suggestions above.

What pps said. £20 from Mil and £5 from you
Fuss about nothing

How strange! Just say thank you, tell dd isn't that kind of granny-she's given you your spending money and keep the £20. Sorted.

Why have you caused such a drama over nothing?

bloody hell you can't win - always accept money from ILs with grace and gratitude - they love to give to their grandchildren, it's mean not to let them ;)

why not just accept it and put it in her money box when you next see her?

"why not just accept it and put it in her money box when you next see her?"
Because it was money for the trip.

I must be a meanie then as I just don't see the point now it's done and dusted. If she'd suggested last week before we had handed it in then I would have been quite happy to say it was from Granny but just seems daft after the event.

I didn't think I'd caused a drama, I just said thanks but it's already sorted. Didn't mean to offend her.

But it's not done and dusted-she hasn't gone yet!

It's not done and dusted is it? Granny probably just didn't realise you hand it in before in an envelope to divvy up later!

A simple 'yes thanks, that's really lovely of you' and get your DD to say 'thanks Granny for my spending money' would have been a reasonable/normal course of action here.

I would have just agreed and not given DD an extra £20. You aren't out of pocket.

Even though I logically know it's not, I would feel like I had stolen £20 if I did this.

The solution was obvious, as others have noted.

You don't see the point in granny doing something nice?

As above, just tell DD that the £20 is from dgm and the £5 from you.

I know she didn't realise had already been handed in. And it was/is a nice thought. Okay, prepared to accept that I didn't handle very well.

Agree with the majority here. You've created a bit of an issue when there didn't need to be one.
Should have just thanked Granny, then told your dd that Granny has sent her spending money for the trip - even as she suggested to you, you put it in and Granny reimburses you when she sees you.
How odd.

Poor granny, money for a school trip being refused. Some people are so incredibly rude and thoughtless 🙄 yes I mean you op.
My children would love a kind granny, theirs hasn't bothered to see them for years.

OP you don't appear to have grasped the bleeding obvious what people are saying. Just take the £20 with thanks, keep it and tell your daughter that her granny wanted to contribute £20 of her spending money. It's irrelevant that it's already been handed in.

Also, how on earth will you be out of pocket?