My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

Telling my Tory voting mother that she should pay for my daughter to go to university.

251 replies

sociallyacceptable · 31/05/2017 08:52

My DD is very bright and could go to university if she doesn't arse about trying to be cool like I did. She is now 12.
My mum often talks about what she might do at university when she is older. I have been considering discouraging her from going because of the cost, we cannot afford to fund it ourselves unfortunately and she will have huge debt. It's kind of light hearted but I feel like telling my Tory voting mother that she should pay for her to go as she is not interested in voting to change this.

OP posts:
Report
LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 31/05/2017 09:21

And yes Labour are apparently going to abolish fees so that means you, me and everyone else will have to pay for your children's further education, with no guarantee that they will actually do anything with it

Report
SuperBeagle · 31/05/2017 09:22

Where I live, university has not been "free" since the 70s and 95% of people have debt when they leave. It's the norm. It doesn't discourage anyone from going, nor should it. Debts are a part of life. No time like the present (uni, 18+) to realise that.

It's not your mother's job to pay for your child to go to uni. Your DD either needs to accept that she'll have a debt when she leaves, or you'll have to find a way to fund the fees. The way your mother votes is utterly irrelevant.

Report
mynotsoperfectlife · 31/05/2017 09:22

OP, it's true that many parents support children when at university but quite honestly many can't. This was true in the days of grants as well.

Report
ChardonnaysPrettySister · 31/05/2017 09:22

So your mother shouldn't be telling your daughter she's clever, or else she should vote Labour?

Report
hackmum · 31/05/2017 09:23

Tuition fees as they currently stand aren't necessarily that bad - graduates get a long time to pay them off. The risk is, though, that the £9k cap will come off under the next (Tory) government and unis will put them up a lot more. At the moment, they are allowed to put them up a little over £9k if they do well under the Teaching Excellence Framework, but the signs are they will go much higher. Universities are expensive to fund, and Brexit means losing quite a lot of European students.

You may have to contribute to your DD's living expenses, but she could also get part-time work to see her through. She may also be entitled to a maintenance grant.

Obviously Labour under Corbyn's leadership intend to abolish tuition fees altogether, so the fact that Labour introduced them originally is irrelevant to the OP's point.

You can point all this out to your DM, but I dare say she has her own reasons for voting Tory.

Report
herethereandeverywhere · 31/05/2017 09:24

It is true that the daughter won't need to repay until she has a well-paid job, but the debt will still be there, all £30-40k of it (min). So how is she supposed to save for buying her own home, for holidays, for having a family when she starts at minus forty thousand?!!

From person experience I left university with c.£20k of debt (this was before tuition fees but my folks could not afford to fund my living costs so I borrowed via student loans, bank and credit cards). It took me until I was 30 to pay off. I relied on my husband to pay100% of the deposit on our first home (MC family, fully funded at Uni, started with £0 debt). I also chose a career that made me enough money to climb out of the debt and move on. How will the younger generation do this?

Report
SuperBeagle · 31/05/2017 09:25

So how is she supposed to save for buying her own home, for holidays, for having a family when she starts at minus forty thousand?!!

People manage it here in Australia... Confused

Report
LittleBooInABox · 31/05/2017 09:26

Ffs, I am currently at uni and pay my own damn tuition fees. That's life. All your doing is giving your daughter an excuse. 'I can't do it cause I can't afford it'

It was labour who took away free education. Not Tories

Report
titchy · 31/05/2017 09:27

but it is her who goes on about how clever she is and what she will do at university!

Good. Pity you're not being as encouraging. Hmm

Find out the facts. If you're a low income household you won't be expected to contribute.

Even if you earn mega bucks she'll still get a maintenance loan and a full fee loan.

Report
herethereandeverywhere · 31/05/2017 09:28

PS: Getting part time work really does depend where you live and where you study. I was in a Northern University town of over 20,00 students - there really weren't enough jobs to go round. Ditto going home to Merseyside where the adult workforce was struggling for jobs, never mind students. And all employers wanting people for the foreseeable and not just the holidays/term time (depending on location). There's always zero hour contracts during the holidays I suppose...

Report
tinypop4 · 31/05/2017 09:28

Mumsnet is not representative of the the entire country. My parents could not afford to subsidise my university education. I went anyway, I took out loans and I worked part time.
It's not ideal but it is the same round the world (USA, oz) and people manage. I actually know a lot of people whose parents didn't contribute much if anything because they couldn't afford to.

Report
sociallyacceptable · 31/05/2017 09:28

My DD could leave school at 18 and she could get a job, deposit for a house etc. Going to university and studying will leave her without the option of owning her own home until we die as I see it. I do want to encourage her but honestly hate the thought of her carrying £30000-£40000 debt when she's just started. My brothers child just finished university, studied History and has £30000 debt, what job can they get now??

OP posts:
Report
herethereandeverywhere · 31/05/2017 09:29

If you're a low income household you won't be expected to contribute

Do tell us more titchy. I thought everyone ended up with £9k per year debt...

Report
acquiescence · 31/05/2017 09:30

There is a huuuuge difference between the fees that were introduced initially and the figures that students pay now. 'Labour started it' is a poor argument. I was lucky enough to pay the lower fee level and have debt of around £16000 which seems totally reasonable to me for a 4 year degree. I pay minimal amounts off as I work part time. The levels that the Tories currently promote are so much more than this.

Report
SuperBeagle · 31/05/2017 09:30

what job can they get now??

They'd be in this predicament debt or no debt.

Report
herethereandeverywhere · 31/05/2017 09:31

titchY I see, you're talking about parental contribution. Unfortunately the parent is stressing about the large amount of debt her child will end up with, not access to borrowing the funds...

Report
titchy · 31/05/2017 09:31

Jesus are people incapable of googling somehow.

Fees are paid from a loan. Maintenance is paid from a loan, from £4K to £8.5k a year depending on household income.

Student pays back loan once they're earning £21k+

Parents don't pay loan repayments.

Report
KittyVonCatsington · 31/05/2017 09:32

Technically, like the NHS, University is 'free at the point of service'. And before I get taken out of context, the NHS is not 'free' as it comes out of tax. The same as Tuition Fees. Your daughter will pay nothing towards her Tuition Fees until she is earning above a certain amount and that will come out with all her other tax, NI, pension etc. and if she never earns that amount or moves abroad, won't pay it back at all!

I was the first year to pay Tuition Fees (thanks Labour!) and at 36, still paying £30 per month towards it. Ho hum!

Besides, there are many more options now including A Level entry schemes into huge blue chip companies that pay you to do your degree for you. It isn't just Uni, Job or vocational apprenticeships anymore.

And I honestly don't understand what is so bad about your DD's grandmother saying how clever she is and uni material!

Report
OTheHugeManatee · 31/05/2017 09:32

The current setup is far more progressive than 'free' tuition fees.

Under the current system, if someone goes to university - thereby upping their earning potential - and earns enough to pay them back, they do so slowly over a number of years. If they don't end up earning enough to pay them back, they don't.

Effectively tuition fees function as a means-tested tax on having a degree.

In contrast, providing free university tuition means students' degrees are subsidised by all taxpayers in the country including those taxpayers without the academic ability to benefit from university education themselves. Effectively it takes money from the entire tax base, including the poor / undereducated, to improve the life chances of people who already have more academic ability and hence better chances. How is that fair?

You only have to look at what's happening in Scotland to see the reality of 'free' university tuition: 'free' places are sharply restricted while universities shill like mad for paying students from England and overseas so as to make up the shortfall in funding.

It might seem counterintuitive but your Tory voting mother is supporting an education policy that delivers a far more socially just outcome than taking tax money from bus drivers, road sweepers and plumbers to fund someone else getting an earnings boost from university and graduating debt-free.

Report
Redpony1 · 31/05/2017 09:32

I'm a firm believer that HE should not be 'free' anyway - and i work at a Uni!!
My parents didn't help my brothers through uni, they worked zero hour contracts to pay their way

Report
neonrainbow · 31/05/2017 09:33

I think tuition fees are a good thing. Why shouldnt adults pay for their own further education? I firmly believe everyone should be encouraged to work for a few years before going to university. A relative went back as a mature student and said it was like being in a pre school the way the 18-20 year olds were behaving. Constant partying and nobody taking it very seriously.

Report
Madbengalmum · 31/05/2017 09:33

No, just leave it to the rest of us to fund it!
OP someone will have to pay, ironic isnt it that labour started these charges!

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

BandeauSally · 31/05/2017 09:33

Well neither me or my DP will earn much more in 8 years unless we retrain, can't afford to do this either. My DP works 70+ hours running his business so please don't say we are not trying.

So start saving now. You have 8 years to put something away towards her living costs. If you can't save anything with your partner working 70 hours a week then his business is inefficient and unless he is likely to make some sort of break through into much bigger money soon then he needs to reassess and perhaps think about employed work.

Report
titchy · 31/05/2017 09:33

OP says we cannot afford to fund it.

OP doesn't have to fund it but hasn't bothered fact finding it appears.

Report
herethereandeverywhere · 31/05/2017 09:34

Jesus are people incapable of reading and comprehending the concerns of the OP Hmm

It's the daughter's debt from the loans she's worried about, not whether funding via loans can be accessed.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.