dh is being a twat over 'opedius' dss tonight [this is weird]

[pipsqueak25]

this is potentially outing but not bothered as i'm really wound up, dh and i have a very good relationship and very close. BUT this evening he commented on my youngest ds [16] is 'clingy' and 'acts a bit weird' around me, we have a good relationship but he'd certainly not clingy and weird -wtf ?? "it's like he has an opedius thing with you ". i asked him what he was going on about and he said "i notice this stuff, he hangs around you alot, it's weird, i never did that with my mum, "
now, 'd'h has no idea of the full meaning of opedius complex anyhow, and does't know the symptoms, he has indirectly slagged two other dss this evening in the space of 5 minutes. i don't know where the hell this has come from, he was fine when he came home from work and over dinner, no rows etc, then in the middle of a programme we were watching he comments on my dress which is a low neck and saying it might induce creepy behaviour from someone,.???
when i took him to task about it that's when it came out, it's almost as though it was a stranger talking. no drink or drugs involved, no problems, we talk about everything, so i don't get it at all, so i've come up to bed and he is downstairs still watching the programme..
any thoughts anyone ?
i know he 's a bit jealous of youngest as we have a good relationship and often have a good laugh together but this... ??

Has your DH had some sort of head injury or mental health crisis? I'm not being sarcastic, but it seems such a strange thing to come from nowhere, if he was a perfectly ordinary man before.

Creeptastic. Dolores and ATP55 have put it very well.

i think he resents not having much contact with his own grown up kids, for reasons previously explained and this is a reason for the jealous bit, i guess it's a bit like in the animal kingdom when the young males in the group are chased out of the group.
the dc are working, college and just finishing school so are out of the house mainly, the status quo seems to be shifting as they get older and are teetering on flying the nest.
thankfully am feeling calmer now, still haven't spoken to 'd'h but writing it all down has helped no end and reading wise words and some of the stuff too, i am now enlightened in some respects

Well it was sort of invented by the Greeks and Shakespeare, Freud simply turned it into a 'complex'. Post-Freudians pointed out that, if anything, children feared incest on an unconscious level rather than desired it.

Some step fathers are possessive of their wife and competitive with their step kids for their wife's attention without having kids from previous relationships.

Sometimes stepmothers are the same.

thanks nancy for another insight, makes sense when i'm really thinking about it but that doesn't make his comments right, i'd rather him say 'it annoys me off when this / that happens' though !

Didn't Oedipus kill his father so that he could marry his mother? What a strange thing for your OH to say OP

ager yes, he killed his father, married mum then blinded himself for good measure, better tell dh to watch his back obviously !
he is still down stairs, probably sulking / thinking about his twattery, who knows ?

Do you have any suspicion that he might be cheating? Cheating men often have sudden fits of jealousy about any man around, and criticize their partner's clothing choices as overly revealing and some of the other behavior you've noted here.

Odd comments either because

1. he resents your children being around, or 2. he was trying to press your buttons to engineer an argument for some reason.

The horrible beast.

i guess it's a bit like in the animal kingdom when the young males in the group are chased out of the group

My DH and both our sons had a bit of this when our boys were about your son's age. We called it 'old lion, young lion'. But 'old lion, young lion' is a power struggle, as in 'you're not the boss of me, old man'/'it's MY house, young man'. It has nothing to do with the 'young lion's' relationship with his mother, not in the way your DH implies. There may be times when I took my sons' side over my DH's in the 'power struggle' and my DH may have said I was 'too soft' on them, but never would he have intimated that there was anything inappropriate about our relationship.

Don't compare your DH's words with 'old lion, young lion'. It's not the same at all. Your DH is simply pig-jealous of your closeness with your son and he's using a slimy, filthy tactic to make you question it. Please don't let him succeed. A young man learns about women from his mother's words and actions. We set the example for them of what they should hopefully look for in a partner, so it's important that they know that it's important to be close to and comfortable confiding in 'important' women in their lives.

That's a lot of 'importants' in my last sentence!

Is he trying to put a wedge between you and your son?
If so then I would show him the door, no questions.

He is man and your son is a child, your child. Good luck with it.

He has a sick mind.
There are no excuses for what he implied.
I hope your DS doesn't find out what he said.
I agree with TWATTY and 3LUCKYSTARS.