Not Disabled Enough. Apparently.

[Peanutbutteroneverything]

I am sure that I will get flamed for this, but genuine AIBU as it has really irritated me.

DS 5 has autism & ADHD (includes sensory issues etc.)

We sometimes go to soft play in our local town. We had an annual membership that has just run out, so I looked at the renewal options. I saw at the desk they mentioned a concession for disabled visitors. DS receives DLA and usually gets a concession at the various places we go.

I asked the lady on the desk and she said she'd grab the duty manager to sort it out. Duty manager, "what's his disability?" I explained and she said. "We don't consider that to be a disability so he can't get the concession." I made a face and she went on to say, "Concessions are only for people in a wheel chair." I started to say that disabilities come in many forms!

"Your son can use the facilities." And then she walked away and I sort of felt a bit

Whilst it is true that my son uses 'some' of the facilities, he needs a lot of additional support from me, we often only stay a very short period of time because if it gets too busy/noisy DS gets overwhelmed and anxious and we have to make a hasty exit. Some days he walks in, freaks out and we leave before venturing in!

So AIBU to be annoyed at their attitude? To be honest, it isn't about the concession itself, more the principle of the matter I suppose. Then I got to thinking of the other places I take DS too, he can still 'access' whatever it is in his own way, even though he gets a concession. Does this mean that if he can do that then he shouldn't get it?

Same thing exactly happened to me years ago....I sent my child's social worker to pay them a visit and clarify exactly who is a disabled child under The Children Act.... legally, your son has the same status and they have no right to pick and choose who qualifies.
Since then the Equality Act has kicked in, but not sure if it would meet the definition of discrimination as the group being treated more favourably has the same protected characteristic.

I think it is fair enough to restrict discount to those with a physical disability meaning they cannot ac ESS the full facilities so I think yaBu

And it's "ignorance" like users which is why untrained people shouldn't be making such decisions.

It isn't just physical disabilities (which don't all manifest with the need for a wheelchair anyway) which means someone may not be able to access full facilities.

Sirzy nothing suprises me anymore. Even comments from some of DSs 'professionals' have been jawdropping.

Ok so User what about children with sensory processing disorder who might only access the facilities for 15 minutes? Or Aspergers, like we have to leave places straight away when parents let their toddlers scream in my child's face and he gets stressed and overwhelmed and again we leave.

I'm fucking sick of people misunderstanding the day to day debilitating effect of ASD. Even high functioning ASD and I hate using the HF. My life is a nightmare trying to get my two children even on a pissing bus without a meltdown.

It means we cannot access things that others take for granted. Like an hour at soft play, swimming, a day at the zoo or travelling to school on public transport.

OP - Why don't you ask the Duty Manager what the conditions are for the disability concession??

Much easier to find that out first and then go from there.

I suspect you'll find that, if you approach the management team, you'll find their answer is to remove the disability concession completely. It is optional to offer a concession, after all.

So what would have happened if ds had walked in but we had his wheelchair with him (to wrestle him in to when the toddlers wound him up)? As a concession it is unworkable.