Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not Disabled Enough. Apparently.

58 replies

Peanutbutteroneverything · 30/05/2017 14:38

I am sure that I will get flamed for this, but genuine AIBU as it has really irritated me.

DS 5 has autism & ADHD (includes sensory issues etc.)

We sometimes go to soft play in our local town. We had an annual membership that has just run out, so I looked at the renewal options. I saw at the desk they mentioned a concession for disabled visitors. DS receives DLA and usually gets a concession at the various places we go.

I asked the lady on the desk and she said she'd grab the duty manager to sort it out. Duty manager, "what's his disability?" I explained and she said. "We don't consider that to be a disability so he can't get the concession." I made a face and she went on to say, "Concessions are only for people in a wheel chair." I started to say that disabilities come in many forms!

"Your son can use the facilities." And then she walked away and I sort of felt a bit Confused

Whilst it is true that my son uses 'some' of the facilities, he needs a lot of additional support from me, we often only stay a very short period of time because if it gets too busy/noisy DS gets overwhelmed and anxious and we have to make a hasty exit. Some days he walks in, freaks out and we leave before venturing in!

So AIBU to be annoyed at their attitude? To be honest, it isn't about the concession itself, more the principle of the matter I suppose. Then I got to thinking of the other places I take DS too, he can still 'access' whatever it is in his own way, even though he gets a concession. Does this mean that if he can do that then he shouldn't get it?

OP posts:
MaisyPops · 30/05/2017 15:17

Or politely enquire about it first before going all guns blazing to the press and social media.

Maybe I'm old fashioned but I like to give people a chance before going public.

StrawberryMouse · 30/05/2017 15:19

There is a similar issue with blue badges in my area. Unless you qualify automatically with the higher rate of mobility for DLA / PIP, it's a discretionary application and people are quite frequently told they aren't disabled enough to qualify.

VolunteerAsTribute · 30/05/2017 15:19

OP is right to seek clarification.

We agree there.

She hasn't got anything like that though! A bit of an echo chamber with people telling her 'there must be' or 'of course they can't', but nothing approaching an informed answer.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 30/05/2017 15:19

Some PPs on here are missing the point by miles a little.

Take away the concession issue from a minute. Saying the OPs DCs disability 'doesn't count' is discriminatory in itself. Any lawyer worth their salt would have a field day with that little nugget itself.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 30/05/2017 15:20

*for a minute.

Bizzysocks · 30/05/2017 15:30

I think it is fine for a soft play to offer a concession to just those who can't access all the equipment. Like babies usually get in cheeper for the same reason.

They need to reword the advert but their reasoning is fine.

bigmouthstrikesagain · 30/05/2017 15:44

The reasoning isn't 'fine' - they need to clarify that a very specific physical disability receives a discount. There are many disabilities that are progressive, or temporary or episodic. Meaning an individual would need a wheelchair, occasionally or temporarily. So would a child with a broken leg get a discount? But not a child with CP unless they needed a chair all the time, would the discount apply to a blind or deaf child? This disability discount is discriminatory, in that it is only applicable for certain conditions so I really think the op needs to check with SCOPE or Citizens Advice as the softplay may well be in contravention of the Equality Act. The pricing policy needs to be applied fairly.

zzzzz · 30/05/2017 15:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pinkdelight · 30/05/2017 15:53

I agree with bizzy. It sounds like bad wording and a misunderstanding. This discount isn't for people who have a disability and use the softplay. From her line - "Your son can use the facilities." - it must be a discount for people coming into the softplay who have a disability (e.g. in a wheelchair) who can't use the softplay, but presumably are accompanying their kids who do. OP's son clearly uses the softplay a lot, which is why OP had the annual membership in the first place. It is confusing so OP is NBU to be asking the question, but it doesn't sound like her child fits the bill for the discount, nor that he needs it. Sure, it might've been nice if the place offered a discount to all with a disability, but that's not the case by the sounds of it. They do need to be clearer.

ItsNotRocketScienceThough · 30/05/2017 16:03

YANBU.

zzzzz · 30/05/2017 16:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Benedikte2 · 30/05/2017 16:14

To be fair, I do not feel someone in a wheelchair who is unable to use the soft play equipment ( and who is, one would presume, just accompanying other family members) should pay anything at all!
Why should they pay a discounted price ?

Bizzysocks · 30/05/2017 16:21

I ment the reasoning that children that can't access all the equipment receive a discount. This is fine so the wording needs to reflect this.

I wouldn't be going to social media over this as it is easy to understand the group the soft play are aiming their discount to (even if worded inappropriately) so you may get some backlash from people who think the business is doing a nice thing offering discount to this group.

Original poster
Peanutbutteroneverything · 30/05/2017 16:30

Thanks for all your replies. I am glad to read that the majority feel I'm not BU.

The lady had a badge on saying 'Duty Manager' so I expected her to be (at the very least) better at her phrasing!

I agree with Benedikte that if someone wants to be admitted when they are not able to use the facilities at all, then there should be no fee to pay.

Volunteer - it's not really about 'don't go if you don't like it.' More that it just sounded so ignorant and there was no clarity. I don't feel the staff there should be the ones deciding who is disabled and who isn't.

I would be interested to know if they are acting illegally here or not. I suspect I will write a letter..

OP posts:
whatwouldkatyactuallydonext · 30/05/2017 16:31

My son also has unseen disabilities. Have you registered with your local authority for a Max Card?

www.mymaxcard.co.uk

There are lots of places that offer concessions using it, and even if they aren't on the list, some will take it as 'proof' of disability.

MaisyPops · 30/05/2017 16:34

^^ That's the card my friend had!

I mentioned it up thread but couldn't remember where it was from or what it was called.

Original poster
Peanutbutteroneverything · 30/05/2017 16:34

Whatwould thanks for that - I will certainly look into getting one!

OP posts:
Moedervantwee · 30/05/2017 16:43

Much as I can sort of sympathise, I see this from a very different angle, I have a profoundly disabled daughter who is a a young lady but developmentally under three months and has multiple health problems, she is unable to take part in anything but we still have to pay the same concession as others who can take part in some if not all that is offered. We too, on many occasions have had to cut short a family trip because she has taken poorly, we prioritise her needs.

Witchend · 30/05/2017 17:00

I would have thought you can say it depends on the disability.
For example my dd is missing her hand. She gets dla. This does not mean she can have an exit pass at Legoland or she can take a carer into the local theatre for free when she goes. This is perfectly reasonable because she doesn't need either. However people that do need those are allowed them.
I think we'd all agree that is fair.

But when you get to the soft play it is tricky. Because it can be very subjective. My ds had glue ear and doesn't like new things. There was at least one time where he took flight at the noise, and he really couldn't cope with more than about 30 minutes.
However if you said cheaper for people with dla, dd2 (who would access it fully for as long as you'd let her) would be the one with the discount.

I think also if you pursue it, the most likely response is for them to remove the discount for all.

Rhayader · 30/05/2017 17:03

It sounds like the discount is for people who are unable to use the full facilities. Sort of like how it is often free for under 1s or cheaper for under 3s because they cannot go on the equipment. Would this apply to you?

Not sure if you have much of a case because it's ultimately their decision but they ought to be more transparent about it. :(

muckypup73 · 30/05/2017 17:03

Name and shame them, we can all send a complaint!

Sirzy · 30/05/2017 17:10

Ds is a part time wheelchair user so I wonder how they would define his "need"?

EggysMom · 30/05/2017 17:20

I must admit that I've never seen a disability concession at a soft play centre, and have always presumed that is because many disabled children can still use the soft play equipment - our son is deaf, autistic and has a severe learning disability, but can still climb and slide like a good'un Smile I just suck up the fact that we pay full price but might only be there for 20 minutes and not 2 hours.

I would have expected non-mobile disabled children to be permitted free entry, as they can only watch in the same way that parents do ... Maybe the reduced rate is because parents will help them sit in the ballpit and play?

Toysaurus · 30/05/2017 17:37

Eggys mum that's why there's a concession because you might be there for 20 minutes. It's quite common for lots of families to get in be there ten minutes and have To leave

QueenArseClangers · 30/05/2017 18:19

Bloody hell OP, you should come to our local soft play.

They have ASD 'friendly' sessions, ASD relaxation classes, breastfeeding support and a whole other host of inclusive niceness.
Also all their staff are trained in disability awareness and are not ignorant twats.

Swipe left for the next trending thread