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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel like ringing the police

93 replies

iluvshoes · 25/05/2017 22:17

So last night and tonight I'm led in bed listening to the child across the road screaming . Windows are open as it's hot and sound travels. Thought it was maybe a bedtime tantrum but its been going on for almost an hour now and I'm a bit worried. Its really loud . What would you do ?

OP posts:

Jellycubes37 · 25/05/2017 23:21

I'm wondering if this is my neighbours across the road listening to my autistic 3year old screaming because her brother has a birthday cake with candles.

Or if it was when we were trying to get her into a shower.

I'm very surprised no one has phoned the police up to this point actually, because she shrieks and screams for a whole variety of reasons, but in cooler weather we usually try and keep all the windows shut!

Headofthehive55 · 25/05/2017 23:28

I had a baby who screamed for three hours each and every evening when she was about three months old. It was awful. At midnight on the dot each night she would fall asleap. I kid you not.

She's now a teenager, but by goodness she can't half grumble still.
I pity the parents!

user1491572121 · 25/05/2017 23:30

All these posts about "My child did this" are NOT helpful!

Of course some children scream at night but OP said that the child sounded "really distressed" and it was obviously bad enough to post here.

What's the harm in checking? The trouble is...people look the other way too often.

PerspicaciaTick · 25/05/2017 23:30

I would have thought knocking on their door and calmly talking to your neighbours would be the first thing to do, then call the police if you still feel the situation is concerning.

Fink · 25/05/2017 23:34

At the age of (3?) 4-5ish dd would have periodic massive meltdowns about not having all the lights on blazing (not a small lamp in the room and the hall light for comfort, full on bright lights in her room), me leaving the room, sometimes having her door shut if she refused to stop screaming ... she would literally bawl at the top of her lungs for anything up to 2 1/2 hours non-stop. I'm really glad no one ever called the police.

Personally, just a child crying loudly for a long time is not suspect, but you're the one there on the spot and so you're the only one who can judge the situation. If it sounds worrying, report it.

BlackeyedSusan · 25/05/2017 23:45

my child sounds like he is being murdered... the cause, spilt milk. and it went on ages.

child might be ill with ear ache
or autistic,
or other special needs.
or night terrors.

speak to them.

BlackeyedSusan · 25/05/2017 23:46

oh andhe was really distressed because he had spilt some milk.

bobblechops · 25/05/2017 23:49

My child shouts screams and causes me to shout back loudly sometimes. I often think afterwards about what the neighbours must think. To be honest and I might be wrong so please don't flame me but I think when a child is screaming back at their parents it's probably because they feel safe doing it. I would be much more concerned about a silent scared looking child. Or one you don't see much of. But that's just me. Not to say that a child isnt being abused when they are loud. Anyway I would keep your eyes open and if you still feel that the child is in danger do something.

SparklyMagpie · 25/05/2017 23:59

If you're that concerned,then call

Most likely chid is having a tantrum

HildaOg · 25/05/2017 23:59

I'm so glad my neighbours didn't call the police on mine. She used to scream for hours every night during the night for nearly a year. They should keep the windows closed though... Not fair on the neighbours.

TinselTwins · 26/05/2017 00:02

My kids have gone through phases of sounding like they were being murdered at bedtime.

I don't sleep train, they're well cared for

One did it at 5/6 when she was having a rough time at school and all the emotions came out at home, so not just babies do it. I was right there with her

MycatsaPirate · 26/05/2017 00:14

When my DD2 was around 2/3 years old, she had night terrors which went on and off for hours and it was awful, She screamed the house down, sounded absolutely terrified and how I didn't end up with the police at my door I don't know. It went on for months and then just suddenly stopped. They would start about 2 hours after she had gone to sleep and then would be hours of screaming and crying hysterically, still asleep but with her eyes open. Bloody horrendous time that was.

Justdontgetitatall · 26/05/2017 00:25

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REPORT!!!!! If this child is being abused and you DON'T do anything, how guilty will you feel? I'd much rather a genuine mother feel a bit humiliated than an abused child be abused further!!!!!

DancingLedge · 26/05/2017 00:52

If you're a mum, you've heard upset and noise from your own children, and know full well there can be all sorts of understandable reasons for it.

Yet still, these sounds are concerning you.

So, something is different.
ACT ON IT. Make that call. SS or NSPCA.

Because something is not sounding right to you . Lots of people ask themselves, what if I 'm adding trouble to a difficult family situation? You know what, they'll get over it.

Better question, put in training by county head of child protection, "what if I'm right?

Who else is going to sound a concern for children in dire need?

CheeseQueen · 26/05/2017 01:14

As a mum to a (thankfully now older) who used to be a screaming toddler, you can't automatically assume the worst.
You say tonight and last night? Is it a regular occurrence?
DS1 as a baby used to suffer from colic. Used to scream the house down between 5pm and 7pm non stop.
As a toddler, used to scream like we were murdering him when we used to bath him on an evening.
"Mummy, NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! PLEASE NOOOO!"

Next door neighbours must have thought we were torturing him.
Anyway, just saying isn't necessarily a police matter if you hear screaming with windows open.
Only you know what it sounds like and how often it is.

CheeseQueen · 26/05/2017 01:17

Please ring. If it's ASD or a simple tantrum then no harm done

Really? You think a random SS phone call to loving parents making sure everything is alright couldn't set off anxiety attacks?

Shewhomustgowithoutname · 26/05/2017 01:17

Never know the cause of screaming and distressed child. I have one who can scream for hours over hair washing. I am always thinking someone will complain but so far nothing. It is awful, we all have to be clean and some do not like the process but it has to be done.

PossibiliTea · 26/05/2017 01:19

Some children scream blue murder at the smallest of things but it's a call only you can make (sorry no help) I think if it was me I would ring 101 just to advise, and be honest just saying it's the second night and it may be X/X or X reason but thought it was best to call.

They will ask the right questions and act appropriately x

CheeseQueen · 26/05/2017 01:24

I have one who can scream for hours over hair washing.

I totally feel your pain. He's recently moved into teens now but we still have major strops over hair washing! Does wash though. Occasionally.
Was awful when younger. Proper screaming fits.

TinselTwins · 26/05/2017 01:51

abused kids don't tend to scream blue murder on a regular basis - they learn not to!
it's the quiet ones who don't object when they're hurt or upset who you need to worry about!

Unicornsandrainbows3 · 26/05/2017 01:53

I have children with ASD myself and am well aware of the meltdowns CheeseQueen And yes a call to police or SS could set off anxiety attacks which is not pleasant. But give me an anxiety attack any day over a child possibly being abused and people doing nothing.

user1491572121 · 26/05/2017 02:46

tinsel MASSIVE generalisation there.

Atenco · 26/05/2017 04:08

Another one with a screamer in the house, though fortunately the building is pretty sound-proofed.

That's the trouble with children, who is to know if it is a serious problem or just a tantrum? Unless you hear adult voices.

EvilDoctorBallerinaDuck · 26/05/2017 04:11

Could they be autistic?

katronfon · 26/05/2017 08:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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