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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel like ringing the police

93 replies

iluvshoes · 25/05/2017 22:17

So last night and tonight I'm led in bed listening to the child across the road screaming . Windows are open as it's hot and sound travels. Thought it was maybe a bedtime tantrum but its been going on for almost an hour now and I'm a bit worried. Its really loud . What would you do ?

OP posts:
bugsymalonemumof2 · 25/05/2017 22:38

oh and her terrors starta aboit 10pm as its three hours after bedtime

Smellbellina · 25/05/2017 22:40

unless you have any specific evidence leave well alone.
Interesting fact, there are all kinds of professional people trained and paid to collate evidence so members of the public don't need to. There are lots of phone lines to report your concerns if you wish.

Original poster
iluvshoes · 25/05/2017 22:41

It goes quiet for a bit and then the screaming again . As a single mum I know the trials of getting kids to bed but this child sounds really distressed.

OP posts:
Foxysoxy01 · 25/05/2017 22:41

Can you hear anything else like raised voices or loud bangs?

Having lived next door to a family with the father having a bad temper you can sometimes tell the difference between a child screaming as a tantrum and domestic abuse/violence. That being said if you are concerned then you really need to phone 101 or make a point of speaking to the neighbours concerned.

Fruitcorner123 · 25/05/2017 22:42

If you don't have a negative relationship with them I don't think there is any harm in calling round in the morning and mentioning your concern. They might be mildly offended but will probably explain what the noise was. Is it still going on now?

Smellbellina · 25/05/2017 22:42

I would talk with them and see if the child has any disabilities or additional needs first
Because no one ever lies.

LauraPalmersBodybag · 25/05/2017 22:42

My 1 year old is waking up a lot atm. She screams and howls if I don't feed her back to sleep or if her dad goes in instead. We are a stressed and tired household but she's a happy kid.

Might be different in this case, but small child howl for any number of reasons. Why don't you knock on their door to check first, I'm sure that might give you some more information.

user1491572121 · 25/05/2017 22:43

Call the police. If it's sleep training the police will understand. No harm in checking.

Imagine how you'd feel if that child was being harmed and you did nothing?

Holidaytime17 · 25/05/2017 22:45

It just makes sense to have a word with them. They are new to the street and you can get to know them and find out if they're story checks out.

MumOfTwoMasterOfNone · 25/05/2017 22:45

It can feel like longer than it is. Honestly, my DD has a lactose intolerance. For 4/5 months while we figured this out, she was a very unhappy distressed baby. I tried everything and after hours in the night I just had to put her back in her cot screaming. I had been back to hospital and the GPs countless times to be told nothing was wrong with her.
I was in tears but there was nothing I could do. It was distressing for us all but sometimes I had to put her to bed when I had done everything I could.
However, if you are concerned, you should always ring and let someone else make that judgement.

Ginoholic · 25/05/2017 22:46

I opened this thread thinking it could be ahout me... my 3 year old has just had one almighty meltdown around 9pm. She also sounded very distressed but I would be shocked if i had the police knocking on my door over such an incident!

HattiesBackpack · 25/05/2017 22:48

Ok so I'm fresh from safeguarding training so this is at the forefront of my mind, but I say contact the police 101 to let them know. It could be useful as evidence of a pattern of nothing else. If it's innocent then no harm done.
Children have died because no one wanted to interfere/make a fuss/etc.

mynotsoperfectlife · 25/05/2017 22:49

I'd call.

If it's autism or some other non sinister reason, no harm done.

Fruitcorner123 · 25/05/2017 22:51

Sorry i didn't read that it keeps stopping and starting. that is more concerning and it's nearly 11 now. I am edging towards phoning now. I suppose if theres a reasonable explanation the police will accept that and leave so no harm would be done but the visit would be logged in case there were any further incidents.

Smellbellina · 25/05/2017 22:51

you can get to know them and find out if they're story checks out
No you can't

MuncheysMummy · 25/05/2017 22:53

Well you could almost be talking about us! My DS is 11 months and has developed separation anxiety in the last month it's killing me slowly! Sad he screams and becomes hysterical within literally 30 seconds of being out of his eyesight even if that's just me leaving him strapped in his highchair watching me in the open doorway whilst I hang out the washing i chat to him the whole time and he sits watching me screaming and wailing as he wants to be held but I have jobs to do and he needs to stop being silly!! He also screams and sobs hysterically if I pop him in his cot for safety whilst I have a super fast poo Blush tried bringing him into bathroom with me but that's a mistake he grabs everything hazardous and tries to commit suicide continuously whilst I screech 'NO!' And repeatedly jump up to save him! He is sounding like he's being tortured A LOT lately but he's really not he's just prone to the dramatic and rather stroppy. I'm trying to ignore his histrionics bit it's challenging let's say Hmm

hellomoon · 25/05/2017 22:53

My 2 year old screams the place down every night without fail basically just enraged I have dared to leave his side. Normally lasts about ten minutes but has been known to go on for a LOT longer. I would be horrified if someone phoned the police

I'm glad I'm not alone!

Unicornsandrainbows3 · 25/05/2017 22:54

Please ring. If it's ASD or a simple tantrum then no harm done, if it's DV then this family will get some help. It doesn't need to have loud bangs and shouting to be DV either, ours never did.

Brokenbiscuit · 25/05/2017 22:55

If you're worried, OP, I would call. Go with your gut. If you're wrong, then no harm done.

IgnoreMeEveryOtherReindeerDoes · 25/05/2017 22:56

After my child's bedtime drama tonight I wouldn't mind police knocking on door, I'm at my wits end some nights. Ignoring doesn't work child just gets louder and louder and fucking louder whole neighbourhood can hear with windows open.

Then instead of having bedtime battles with my child I could say do you want the police to come round again.... But then knowing my feral child they would probably say go on then ring them.

Fruitcorner123 · 25/05/2017 22:57

The OP said at 22.17 that this has been going on for an hour. It is still going on now so thats 100 minutes. It could be V severe separation anxiety or night terrors or teething but it seems a bit extreme now to just ignore.

April241 · 25/05/2017 22:58

I have 8 months old twins, if someone called the police everytime they had a screaming match they'd be here several times a week. Come 7pm-ish one of them goes ballistic and it can last 15 mins or it can last hours on end with a few very short breaks in between, it's not just screaming, it's proper distressed sobbing and they can set each other off. Breaks my heart, I'd be beside myself if the police turned up in the middle of settling them.

Original poster
iluvshoes · 25/05/2017 23:08

Its gone quiet now. Hmm

OP posts:
user1491572121 · 25/05/2017 23:13

So you've basically sat there...posting on here and doing nothing despite the fact that

this child sounds really distressed.

Call them. Doesn't matter that it stopped.

Sunshinegirls · 25/05/2017 23:21

Light nights and hot weather has made my SN daughter scream for hours each night this week, She has wore herself out now and has fallen asleep. To anyone else it would sound awful. It has been distressing for our whole family and a neighbour calling the police on us would not help. I think if you were genuinely concerned about this child you wouldn't have to ask on mumsnet.