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AIBU?

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Original poster

In not letting 9mo ds watch children's TV?

246 replies

ScoobyC · 16/03/2007 20:12

I have never put children's TV on for ds, and I haven't bought any Baby Einstein dvds etc and I am suddenly worrying that I am in some way depriving him as I have just realised that (some) other babies do watch TV.
So, this may be a ridiculous question (it really is amazing what you can worry about when you have a child), but does anyone have any thoughts on whether it is good for a baby's development to watch kids TV?
As background, this hasn't been a particularly thought out decision or anything, it's just that ds has never been a baby who sits, he is very active and so he wouldn't just sit and watch TV. For purely selfish reasons, if the tv is on it has adult programs on as I don't want to watch kids tv until I absolutely have to!

OP posts:
helenhismadwife · 17/03/2007 17:36

whats trans fat? is a tv programme

FrannyandZooey · 17/03/2007 18:11

Oh snobbery, well I think that bit of your post is rather dismissive. I mean it implies that people don't actually think there is anything wrong with tv, they just do it to appear holier than thou.

Fillyjonk · 17/03/2007 18:19

okay

FrannyandZooey · 17/03/2007 18:21

oh

are you really sad?

is it a hot cross bun moment again?

FrannyandZooey · 17/03/2007 18:26

when I was sad HC gave me a bowl of cocopops but I am not sure if that would just make things worse....

Fillyjonk · 18/03/2007 07:14

oh dear no

cocopops make me hyper

have pentitantly emailed you at the 4 letter first name addy

tinkerbellhadpiles · 18/03/2007 07:18

We don't HAVE a TV and so our DD has never seen it to miss it. Good for you I say. Go to whitedot.org and read up about kids and TV - scary!

twentypence · 18/03/2007 07:28

TV can be good for parents.

Not watching Baby Einstein will do her no harm whatsoever. Even the Right Brain, Left Brain one.

But is your question really "I am watching adults TV, if I have the TV on during the day should it only be on children's telly?"

LazyLine · 18/03/2007 07:51

So kids TV is a money making machine but it is acceptable fo rthem to listen to music or read books. Which are all created for free for the benefit of humanity?

Fillyjonk · 18/03/2007 07:59

baby einstein makes me so incredibly

just needed to say that again

Pruni · 18/03/2007 08:23

Message withdrawn

powder28 · 18/03/2007 08:45

Pruni do you think your child has changes since you got rid of the tv?
My mum seems to think tv and just modern living makes kids so much more hyper than they were, say, 20 years ago.
I did consider getting rid of the tv becasue it does dominate our lives and ds who is only two also gets really angry if we change the channel over from cbeebies.
I still think tv can be educational though,and some of the presenters are fantastic.

powder28 · 18/03/2007 08:50

Baby wipe warmers!!! I just put mine on the radiator!

Pruni · 18/03/2007 09:18

Message withdrawn

Fillyjonk · 18/03/2007 09:19

"everything in moderation"

except arsenic

am going to be smug now, sorry

am wondering if my kids don't watch tv because we don't.

we have no prohibitions or anything. if they wanted to watch it for hours I would probably tolerate it for a bit, tbh. I would assume they had a good reason.

is that too smug for words?

ps they are little so pysl at me all you want

FrannyandZooey · 18/03/2007 09:23

Lazyline, there is a huge quantity of literature and music that children can enjoy or that has been created specially for children (there are also crap books but that is another matter). This is part of the incredible world of art and creativity that human beings have produced.

are you saying that you regard CBeebies as a work of art?

FrannyandZooey · 18/03/2007 09:25

Filly it isn't smug but I don't agree, because I think children can only make their own decisions about what is good for them in the absence of highly unnatural and possibly harmful influences.

Eg junk food

people crave it, they want to eat lots of it, it does them harm

the natural messages our bodies are giving us about what is good and what is bad are getting distorted by the unnatural technologies we surround ourselves with

and I know this sounds smug but we are Not Arguing, so it is ok to say it

Fillyjonk · 18/03/2007 09:33

at nice franny

yes this is exactly what I am struggling with

to what extent can kids regulate their own needs?

I can't disentangle the extent to which tv/junk etc is desired by kids because it is seen as a treat, as in "eat your greens, do your hoemework, and you can have telly and an ice cream", from the addictiveness.

tv is just not addictive for me.

And once I started examining how I was using chocolate etc as a forbidden treat for myself, I stopped eating nearly as much.

This is very much on my mind atm.

I don't limit sugar or tv and my kids don't go for them really. They have had them but don't go for them especially.

Ds has a piece of white chocolate given to him by one of his best friends a week ago. He has kept it by his bed because "it reminds me of X and how happy I am when I am with her".

FrannyandZooey · 18/03/2007 09:46

Filly I think if we lived in a forest they would be able to regulate themselves almost completely from a fairly young age

however if we introduce "unnatural" elements (don't like this word but can't think of a better) that are potentially harmful then I don't think they can. I think we all recognise that certain things can be addictive because of the effect they have on our mind or body eg the internet , junk food

FrannyandZooey · 18/03/2007 09:49

Oh and I think this has a bearing on safety etc as well

in a more natural society children could wander about all over the place and teach themselves how to deal with the adult scary stuff such as knives, big holes in the ground

but here we have cars and electric sockets and it doesn't work to let them just roam about and make their own mistakes. A child who crawls too close to the fire and gets hurt / too hot is not going to to do it again. A child who runs out into the road and gets hit by a car is not going to do it again either, for a different reason

Fillyjonk · 18/03/2007 09:54

well no, franny. I think there are clearly things that they bascially have naff all idea about cos they are too little, and because they are not evolved to know to watch out for them (cars and electricity), agreed.

food however, and tv. Those are the big things I am struggling with. I am NOT sure if they are addictive, or if we make them so by turning them into forbidden pleasures.

I use the internet too much. I feel guilty about it. I use it more. It is my treat. I am not allowed it but I quite like it so I want to do it.

I also wonder if these things would be better if appropriate behvaiour around them were modeled, eg sugar and tv enjoyed as a family in moderation. I am very much Not Sure, I am grappling here.

FrannyandZooey · 18/03/2007 09:58

Well it seems to be working for you, so maybe you have found the key to lose the forbidden treat aspect of it and maybe it will work out as you say?

I just don't know anyone else for whom it works like that - I hear horror stories of children watching 8 hours a day because they have complete autonomy and it makes me shudder. But maybe those parents didn't get it right to start with? I am prepared to believe there is something in it, if it works for you.

It doesn't work, for us.

FrannyandZooey · 18/03/2007 10:00

But at bottom I do believe that both junk food and tv affect us adversely by tricking our bodies into thinking something else is going on

so we haven't got the ability to self-regulate effectively where they are concerned. How can we?

Fillyjonk · 18/03/2007 10:18

nah am probably just being smug and will get my come uppance in a year or two I expect

How do you mean they trick us?

say with sugar. Do you not find that if you eat too much sugar you feel odd and weird? Or tv? actually, a lot of it is pretty mind numbing.

So take away the "treat" aspect by removing all limits, all idea that its bad or good, and it becomes not really a very nice thing to do except occasionally.

I think families who have kids watching tv for 8 hours must have something else going on, surely.

I really don't know. The other side to this is that there is a strong history of ADHD in my family and ds in particular has freakishly long attention spans and other bits that could be symptoms of ADHD (am inclined to think variety is the spice of life etc atm and leave well alone, aside from giving him tools to maintain a good diet). So really AM aware that this might not be very typical.

NotQuiteCockney · 18/03/2007 10:24

I am not pro-TV god knows. DS1 would watch paint dry on TV (I am not kidding - I have seen him transfixed by CCTV footage of the outside of a bank. With nothing happenning.). DS2 likes TV, and will watch a few minutes, and then wander off.

We use it when we are ill, or the kids are ill, or we need a break. It's probably something in the order of 2 hours/week? Always DVDs, never live TV.

And a note on the whole 'children's tv exists to sell things' argument ... when I buy a book or a CD, yes, that exists to sell itself. So once I've bought the book or CD, when I read or listen to it, it doesn't spend its time trying to sell me more stuff (hopefully).