Don't people have boundaries anymore?

[RebelRogue]

Coworker today(that i barely speak to and only see once a week) asked if she could stay over for a while on my sofa.(think weeks).

Neighbour's kid(5)just knocked on the Door to come and play. Sent her awaty as we're actually having dinner. But why would you just send your kid without checking first?

AIBU to think that SOME people have no boundaries,common sense or basic decency/respect?

Coworker was being cheeky. YANBU.

Child knocking on to see if your child wanted to play, not a big deal. YABU.

Cheeky she came to play at my house. They were chattering earlier,dd in the garden kid on her balcony, and i called dd in for dinner. Then kid just showed up at the door.

Co worker may be forced to ask whoever is a possible. Clearly you are in dire times if you do this, i wouldn't judge too harshly.

Child calling over to play is delightful and saying "sorry jemima is having her tea" is very easy, yabu don't be such a misery guts

Could the coworker be desperate for somewhere? Is she homeless and sofa surfing until she can get sorted? Otherwise it is very odd. A 5year old probably hasnt registered thet your dd got called in for dinner, she wanted to play so came and asked - no big deal

Coworker doesn't want to pay too much to rent herself and doesn't trust houseshares , adds in the shops(i gave her a few suggestions) and people because of past experiences.

I found that highly ironic considering I barely know her but I'm supposed to welcome her when I have a child.

And yes i know I'm a misery guts and don't like people much. Hence the rant.

As for the kid

1. I don't blame her. An adult had to let her out(without even checking with me).

1. This is not something we "do". Think dd hasn't been at theirs in 3 years. They don't play outside together either in a "can x come out and play?".

Yanbu, very cheeky of your colleague. Why would she ask you without even knowing you well.

Yanbu, about the 5yo as well. Who leaves their 5yo to wander off round to someone's house in the late afternoon when it could possibly be dinner time or people getting in from work with things to do.

And yes i know I'm a misery guts and don't like people much. Hence the rant.

You and me both. I would probably react the same way to both of these things and DH would call me a misery guts for it.

Yanbu

Well, nobody wants to pay rent! It doesn't mean we can all go and live for free at someone else's house!

CAn you not say to your colleague "sure! I'm in need of some extra cash right now. Does £200/week sound okay?"

Don't see the big deal about the child coming round.

Lass I live in a one bed flat with a kid,OH and a cat. So even if i wanted to,there's no room for that amount of time. Which she'd know if we actually you know, knew eachother besides " hi how are you bye ".

You sound a slight misery to me.... YABU

Once again kid did not ask if DD wants to play. She came to play at MY house. That's exactly what she said "I've come to play.".

Surely children just knocking on doors to see if their mates wanted to play was what everybody did 50 years ago? So hard to see how that one could be about "people not having boundaries any more". Fine to refuse if it doesn't suit you, but don't blame it on modern times.

Yes but 50 years ago you'd be playing outside, not inside.

Not necessarily, not when the weather was bad. Dh has loads of stories of the things he and his mates got up to indoors about that age and they lived in a small flat.

I think people's perceptions of boundaries have changed, in that people have become much more guarded. I have lived most of my life outside of the UK, where kids have a lot of freedom and people help each other. Even people they don't know.

I remember spending summers in the UK in the 90s, and I always played with the neighbors. We would always be in each others houses, or climbing trees on the green. The only time I was restricted was when one of the neighbors The only time I remember being restricted from going to the neighbors house was during a christening party.

My DS(6) plays inside our house, outside, and in his friends houses locally. I think it's lovely.

The co-worker thing is really strange though. Surely she must be really desperate.

Yeah i used to go out and play and knock for kids to come out when i was a kid. But never went to their house without an invitation.
I might be a misery guts but i think a heads up at least,if asking for confirmation is too much, would be nice.

Especially since dd hasn't been to their house since she was 2(5 now). And we were invited.

Why bother asking if you are convinced the 5 year old was a cheeky toe rag? She is 5. It is what kids do. The haven't got social graces yet. Could have been the start of a nice friendship for your DD.

Coworker-weird, overstepping boundaries.

However, quite normal for child to knock on door and ask another to play.

@Kokusai i have no issues with the kid... she's a kid and only 5. But I do have an issue with the adult that let her come.

That logic though. "I don't trust houseshares, so I'm going to ask a colleague I barely speak to if I can share their house."