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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Nursery at 2

73 replies

ToddlerIs2 · 22/05/2017 22:38

Aibu to send my DC as we qualify for a free place? My DSis thinks its awful of me. If is gone back to work DC would have been in nursery full time from 1, this is just 15 hours a week and I really think it'll do her good to socialise. I wouldn't be jidgee of i was working so is it really so terrible to do it whilst I'm not.

I want to do my best for her and do everything I can to prepare her for school but part of that is mixing with peers and its hard o do that with just odd playgoups etc

OP posts:

BarbarianMum · 23/05/2017 10:11

Oh and just to add - the best thing you can do to prepare a child for school at age 2 is to ensure they are happy and secure. There is absolutely no need, yet, for more than that.

GaelicSiog · 23/05/2017 10:22

Mine went when we were home, we did a lot of travelling before DD started school. I think she went for a term or so. Not a lot, but I wanted her to have some experience of interacting with kids her age before school.

Original poster

ToddlerIs2 · 23/05/2017 10:22

Thanks all
witsender she spent half of the first 18 months in and out of hospital, for weeks and months at end so no, not really. Starting from that point at 18 months isn't "normal" when her reaction now to kids is backing away in tears

OP posts:

savagehk · 23/05/2017 10:32

I'd try it, hopefully you can ease her into it gradually because you don't have to be at work while she's there. We sent my son from just over 2 for two half days, he's now there (almost 4.5) 4 mornings a week and has got a lot out of it. Shop around and find one you're happy with and one that's happy to let you help ease her into the new environment.

WatchingFromTheWings · 23/05/2017 10:39

My youngest went to nursery at 2. Best thing I ever did! This wasn't available when my older 2 were the same age (big gap between DC2 & 3). He got used to mixing with other kids and it helped with his confidence.

We're in a bilingual area and I don't speak the other language so he got to learn both languages at the nursery, and at 5yo is fluent in both.

Vroomster · 23/05/2017 11:08

My dc love their nursery. That time just gives me enough to get some chores done and recharge my batteries.

thethoughtfox · 23/05/2017 11:16

As PP said, there are no benefits educationally or socially sending a child to nursery under the sage of 3 unless it would be a better situation that they have at home i.e. has a carer who doesn't want to be at home with the child or can't look after then properly or comes from a deprived or unstable home.

thethoughtfox · 23/05/2017 11:16

*age of 3

CowParsleyNettle · 23/05/2017 11:23

DS has done nursery one day a week since 12 months, now at 2.5 he's recently started pre-school one morning a week as well in a mixed age group with children he knows and he's THRIVING, communication and speech are coming on in leaps and bounds and he defiantly has peer bonds, they don't play together per se but they are always excited to see each other (and play with cars next to each other!)

CheshireChat · 23/05/2017 11:32

I'm sending my 2 year old to nursery as he's getting bored at home and we don't have any family/ friends with children so he can interact.

I'd send her, just keep it part time and if she hates it you can always try in a year's time or so.

chocolateisnecessary · 23/05/2017 11:35

The evidence is 15 hours for a three year old benefits. Anything more doesn't educationally.
I wish I could find the link!
I really wouldn't worry about socialising or preparing for school. A lot of that is marketing. You can't prepare someone who isn't developmentally ready to be prepared.
I think some kids benefit and some don't. It's a personal choice depending on circumstances.
But don't feel bad or guilty either way! And if you don't want to do it and don't have to, don't!

Original poster

ToddlerIs2 · 23/05/2017 18:12

i.e. has a carer who doesn't want to be at home with the child or can't look after then properly or comes from a deprived or unstable home I guess I am worries that other will assume I'm sending her using the free place because I want he room under my feet (I'm contemplating volunteering at the school to be near in case I'm needed) or that I must be a shit parent (whilst I'm always worried were not doing enough for her, her portage worker continually sings my praises and she is happy and smart and loved)

OP posts:

Original poster

ToddlerIs2 · 23/05/2017 18:13

I'm not worrier about school prep, but would like her to be less wary of other children etc. School have promised a slow integration and we'll work up to 15 hers. She'll also get 121 because of medical practical needs.

OP posts:

justinelibertine · 23/05/2017 18:23

DD is 2.3 and goes to a pre school for 6 hrs a week over 2 afternoons. They have a uniform and it's like playing at going to school. She was exactly a year behind with speech but is now saying new words after every session. Today's being 'big big'. She has only been going a month and settling in was hard. She was fine going in but got upset when earlier mummies were doing pick up. She has just this week had 2 great sessions.

For my DD it is excellent, we have to pay for her place but I think the experience is really helping her. And me cos I get a bit of thinking time.

However, OP as you've seen opinions arw mixed and I think it is what is best for your DC. Try it for a few months, if they don't like you can pull them out.

I forget whether you said you worked or not but I don't atm and when DD was inconsolable, they called me and I was able to get her.

khajiit13 · 23/05/2017 18:36

Ds started at 2 and he loved it. He made lots of friends and it did wonders for his speech too. Do it

Caretoomuch2017 · 23/05/2017 18:47

I don't qualify until my little boy is three but he goes to a lovely child minders which is more like a nursery as there are several key workers and lots of children. He has come on loads since going and he likes having children to play with. He's very sociable and only 19m he absolute loves watching other children and babbling to them.
It's only 15 hours and you are entitled to send her if you so choose to do so. Your child, your choice. Tell your family member to butt out.

sharklovers · 23/05/2017 18:56

In my experience nursery has certainly benefited my DD. She's now 2.2 and has been at nursery for the last 8 months. She amazes us all the time with the things she comes out with that she's obviously picked up there. I think it's the variety and competitiveness that does it. For example, we're always being told that she eats this, that and the other, eats it all, has seconds etc when at home she can be quite picky. Eating with her peers clearly suits her.

Babywearinggeek · 23/05/2017 19:09

I'm a SAHM but our DS has been at nursery 15 hours a week since he was 10 months old. He was in from that young because I had PND and severely needed the break, but we always planned to send him from about 18 months (so he could socialise away from mummy and daddy).. he adores it and is so settled. Compared to friends who didn't send their lo's until 3, he settled much faster and has great bonds with the girls who look after him + with other kids. I know people don't always agree but for us as a family, him going at a young age was fantastic all round. I do the majority of our housework and shopping while he's at nursery and then he can have my full attention when he's with me. You can love your kids but still need a break/want to do the ironing without someone screaming at you for attention 😂 Especially when you are getting those 15 hours free!! (ours costs us an arm and a leg 😢) YANBU. I bet it will do her and you the world of good!

Caterina99 · 23/05/2017 19:10

My DS is 23 months. I was working on a project for a few months so he had to go to nursery for 2 days a week. That finished and I'm back being a sahm for the moment but we continued to send him 2 mornings a week. And we pay for it. In my opinion it's money well spent - he loves it there and I think it's good for him and I love the time away from him! It benefits us both.

Do what you feel is best for your DD, but I wouldn't personally feel bad just because some people want to be with their child every single second and think you should too. It's 15 hours a week. If your DD doesn't settle then take her out

WhatWouldCaitlinDo · 23/05/2017 19:11

I would absolutely do it. They get a huge amount from nursery; language, messy play, learning age appropriate stuff, learning basic social skills (turn taking, etc.), and little everyday skills like putting their cost on a hanger, washing their own hands, etc.

Even the shyest, clingiest child will make some little friends.

And you will be a better parent for having had a few hours to yourself

RainbowsAndUnicorn · 23/05/2017 19:25

I can understand pre school to get ready for reception but never understand why a SAHP would have a nursery place as surely the point of being home is to do the parenting.

A two year old with a normal life doesn't need to socialise.

KP86 · 23/05/2017 19:37

I used to send my DS to a child minder one day per week before I started working more hours because he LOVED the interaction with other children and it gave me a bit of a break/chance to do errands without a 21m old running circles around me all day.

He benefitted and so did I. I absolutely would do it again.

BackforGood · 23/05/2017 19:38

Totally disagree with ThoughtFox
We don't know the OP, or her circumstances, or the issue her little one has. The fact she has qualified for the 15 hours, the fact her dd has been in and out of hospital, the fact she has a portage worker are all indicators that there may be really good reasons why she would benefit from a gentle start in a Nursery now...... post saying 'there is no benefit' just show ignorance of the fact there can be lots of different circumstances and reasons.
OP, try it out - see how she gets on - see how she likes it - see how she feels. Explain your concerns to the staff and arrange an extended 'settling in period / induction. she will probably love it.

chocolateisnecessary · 23/05/2017 19:50

I genuinely wouldn't worry about the other kids thing, esp if doing a slow intro at preschool and this is your first so not used to siblings.

chocolateisnecessary · 23/05/2017 19:51

But also don't feel bad if you need a break or think it could be a good thing! A couple of friends of mine tried it: success for one, not for the other. All kids are different.

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