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AIBU?

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Original poster

To now understand why people pay for private healthcare?

31 replies

SoggyChopSuey · 22/05/2017 19:22

Currently stuck on a ward in which the nurse happily told me I would be in a room with 3 other younger people (the majority of the ward is 70+).

Well it's fucking awful and I've had an argument with another patient and a nurse and an auxiliary all the space of a day.

The other 3 women in the room are loud, gobshite lasses, two of them are "ex" junkies. Every day is the same, wake up to the 3 of them shouting and balling, ripping the piss out of staff, winding each other up and banging on about sex and various other shite. The nurses come in and say stuff like "oh it's a party in here!" But I'm so fed up. I'm the odd one out so a lot of the jokes are on me. Even when they're not, they're vulgar and I just don't want to hear it.

Last night "the party" continued right past midnight, the nurses occasionally bobbed their heads in to ask them to tone it down but it all got laughed off.

I've had hardly any sleep. Every time I dozed off I was woken up by "NURSE!! Any chance of a cuppa?" Etc etc

This morning I was woken up by a brash auxiliary shouting "are you getting up so I can do your bed?". I was exhausted so explained that I'd had hardly any sleep only for one of the women to shout "well her curtains were shut all night, that cute doctor was behind there for ages so kinda putting two and two together here love!" Hmm auxiliary snapped that breakfast was at 8 and they like to have the beds done before then. I got up irritated and went to get a shower fully intending to get back into bed when I returned only to find that he'd stripped my bed and left it like that so that I couldn't use it. I told him I was wanting to get back into bed so he said "it's not a hotel love".

Fast forward - nurse starts doing medication round and these three women immediately start shouting that they need pain relief "NOW" so off goes nurse, prioritising these women to shut them up meaning everyone else had to wait longer to get their basic medications. By 10.00 I'd still not had my 8am pain relief so I asked the nurse how long it would be. Her response was "when I get around to you". The bitches all burst out laughing so I said "well maybe if you didn't pander to the fishwives the rest of us would get a look in". Que - said fishwives all erupt screaming, ffing and blinding and laughing about how hilarious they are.

I asked for a meeting with the charge nurse and told her that I either I was moved out of that room or I'd be placing a formal complaint about the brash auxiliary and the arse kissing nurse. She has now swapped me with an old lady from another room. Now I feel fucking guilty that the poor old woman is in there with these thick as pig shit women hanging around her bed saying "you want a drink don't you love! She hasn't even got a fucking drink! NURSE! Betty hasn't had a drink and she's fucking dehydrated you know what I mean mate?" Meanwhile "Betty" is hiding in her room looking terrified/mortified.

WIBU to ask to be moved??? It was either that or unsafe self discharge. Feel so shit and it pisses me off that scum like this just get everything they want by being obnoxious and loud

OP posts:
19lottie82 · 22/05/2017 19:25

I would definitely ask to be moved, im not sure it will happen though.

This is one of the reasons I have private medical insurance. The scenario you're describing is enough to send shivers down my spine!

Catsize · 22/05/2017 19:28

Oh good grief. Sounds awful. Poor Betty too. Complain. And quickly.

DingDong01 · 22/05/2017 19:28

Perhaps call the police. Their behaviour is over and above what you'd expect the hospital staff to deal with

BlondeB83 · 22/05/2017 19:35

Sounds horrendous! Glad I'm in BUPA!

LadySpratt · 22/05/2017 19:40

That does sound truly awful, poor you!
I'm surprised the ward staff haven't separated the three women to make them less disruptive; it is something that they can do. PALS (Patient Advice and Liaison Service) would be a interested in hearing this, and they can usually come up to the ward, if not you can phone them.
I hope you get better soon. 💐

19lottie82 · 22/05/2017 19:40

Call the police????? Really? What would the charge be exactly?

Don't be ridiculous.

DingDong01 · 22/05/2017 19:42

What would the charge be exactly?
Breach of the peace? Neglect by not receiving medication? If the other patients are acting in an abusive or threatening manner assault?

DingDong01 · 22/05/2017 19:50

But to be fair to the staff on your ward, they moved you when you flagged it up.

Unicorn81 · 22/05/2017 19:56

That sounds awful, hope you get out soon and feel better. Nothing worse when you are feeling ill to put up with shit like that. My partner has been in hospitals a lot over the years and the level of disrespect from nurses and staff is unreal. One head nurse telling others very loudly he was a total tube for not letting her take his blood. He has a severe needle phoba which is clearly marked on his file and he was actually in the middle of some serious mental health issues.

IndianaMoleWoman · 22/05/2017 19:56

I've been there. I've had about a dozen admissions over two pregnancies and the amount of people who think a nice long, sweary conversation about mutual acquaintances in prison, or the "stupid bitch" who's "trying to get my boyfriend banged up for rape" or playing loud, tinny music on their phones in the middle of the night, or demanding to know why the nurse can't go to Greggs and get them a pasty "instead of this shit", or screaming like a banshee because of a diabetic fingerprick test then asking for three sugars in their tea despite being expressly told not to, is insane. I thought this behaviour would be very rare but it is depressingly common.

I think the nurses and auxiliaries must be actual saints to put up with it day in, day out.

Once I was in a room with a Jehovah's Witness who was refusing blood. Despite the visiting rules/times, she had at least twenty people in the room with her all day, every day. The noise was horrific. Nobody challenged her/the visitors once.

Maybe there needs to be a new role within wards, some sort of respect and decency enforcer?!

DingDong01 · 22/05/2017 20:06

Maybe there needs to be a new role within wards, some sort of respect and decency enforcer?!
How about separate rooms? That would be better. It would also mean the staff would actually have to go round checking on their patients rather than glance from the nurses' station

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 22/05/2017 20:11

Their behaviour is over and above what you'd expect the hospital staff to deal with

Very tame to what they deal with on a daily basis.

What do you expect the police to do? No assault has been committed, now threats issued.

DayMoth · 22/05/2017 20:11

YWNBU to insist on being moved! Not your fault Betty is now in there. They should split the fishwives up so they're not ganging up and making a racket.

This situation is actually very common. I've seen it more on men's wards though. The most shocking thing I've seen was a man smoking crack in bed, in a 6-bedded bay!

Totally unacceptable to leave you without bedding! I would have kept ringing the bell until they brought clean sheets, or fetched it myself from the linen trolley!

Do complain to PALS and the matron.

IndianaMoleWoman · 22/05/2017 20:13

DingDong I've had separate rooms on three occasions and it was so much better.

My admissions were mostly to do with vomiting and I felt terrible that other patients had to listen to me retching all night. One woman recovering from a cancer op was actually sick from the sound, I felt awful but she was very gracious about it.

But then I've been woken countless times by pneumatic snorers, karma I guess!

missyB1 · 22/05/2017 20:15

Oh God this brings back horrible memories of being in Stoke on Trent maternity hospital for four weeks on the ante natal ward. I can't decide who was worse the bullying staff or some of the vile loudmouth patients. It was so intimidating that I actually didn't feel safe Sad

DingDong01 · 22/05/2017 20:18

When I was last in hospital the nurse was having a go at a patient for having a go at her. JUST LEAVE THE BLOODY PATIENT ALONE, AND THEY'LL LEAVE YOU ALONE I wanted to shout at her, but didn't.

StumpyScot92 · 22/05/2017 20:21

My worst stay was actually when I was placed with all pensioners when I was 16. I was quiet and polite and just read my books when not writhing in pain. One of the pensioners had bad dementia and kept screaming at me for stealing he socks, taking my blanket off me taking my stuff waking me up by physically shaking me etc. I felt sorry for her but it was horrendous too and the nurses thought it was funny :/ the same stay where I got shouted at for lying on the bathroom floor when I fainted.. I get they have a stressful job and I always try to be as little hassle as possible but a handful are in the totally wrong job

brasty · 22/05/2017 20:23

You should have asked to be in with old people.I always have been and they have always been absolutely lovely. Real sweethearts some of them.

MovingtoParadise · 22/05/2017 20:23

I just took out private healthcare. I'm not sure it covers me against arseholes though Hmm

I wonder if it covers a private room?

WipsGlitter · 22/05/2017 20:55

My mum is in hospital at the minute. While the other patients are fine, some of them had four or five visitors at a time despite signs saying only two visitors. It was so noisy!!!

viques · 22/05/2017 20:59

This is nothing new. I remember the woman whose desperately inadequate mothers help brought all three children in almost all day ( I felt sorry for the mh, the mother was a nightmare) opposite her was the woman who refused to eat the food so had stinking off and burgers brought in. Her three year old roamed around the ward in stinking nappies until 10 every night. This woman was foul to the ward staff, refused to wear her surgical stockings and deliberately left her rings on the side table( obviously hoping they would be taken so she could kick up a fuss) didn't happen cos I snitched on her to the ward sister. The other people in the ward were stuck with these anti socials and we had to put up with the disturbance through gritted teeth.

MrsTrentReznor · 22/05/2017 21:04

I was in with 2 lovely old ladies and one scumbag last time.
She let her friend stay all night with her phone ringing and beeping. They finally managed to get the friend out by telling her she couldn't stay whilst she was I'm theatre.
Then they didn't bring pain meds fast enough so she screamed and screamed until they eventually gave her something. (She'd been outside smoking when the drug trolley had come round Hmm)
Then she just disappeared! She came back the next morning once the ward staff had given up on her and allocated her bed to someone else. So she got fuck all and had to sit in the lounge on her newly excavated piles.
She was utter scum. The poor old dears looked really upset, I was off my tits on morphine half the time.
Yes yes yes to the respect and decency officer!
My DP has applied for a job with private healthcare cover for us both. I really hope he gets it! (I loved the old ladies though, we swapped magazines and they told me about their families.)

Aroundtheworldandback · 22/05/2017 22:31

That sounds like hell on earth. The worst for me would be sharing a bathroom with strangers.

I have insurance but chose to have my op recently on NHS because some of the private hospitals are more like hotels- nursing good and yes own room/shower room but any complications and I think you're better off NHS as top consultants on site and should anything go wrong, you won't need to be moved. If it was just a small procedure with minimal risk I would have used my insurance. Luckily I didn't have to stay the night though.

The ideal, obviously, is to be in a private room in a good NHS hospital. Best of both worlds.

annandale · 22/05/2017 22:38

I think it should be the nurses who enforce this with the sister as backup but this behaviour is so extreme it would be pretty difficult.

Don't know if the older ones were taught more manners or are more used to institutional life.