Getting a bit resentful

[Workitbabe]

Hi I have been on here before about this issue but still don't know if I am being unreasonable.
Step son is 21 and lives with me and his dad plus my daughters aged 10 and 14 from my previous marriage .

Ss works full time and earns £18k. He was paying £150 a month for rent, food and bills. When we moved 3 months ago dp said he would ask ss for an increase in this to £300 as the mortgage increased. He is still paying £150. He works from home now so that has cut petrol and he is eating lunch here every day plus his girlfriend stays every other weekend.
I am becoming increasingly naffed off with dp for not asking for the extra money. Council tax alone is £ 210 a month so £70 per adult, so in effect he is paying £20 a week for everything. Am I being unreasonable to be getting hacked off and what can I do??

He's got it made! Fucking hell! £150 all in for own room with en suite shower and all bills paid. £300 is still an utter pittance, considering he's there all day and has GF there EOW. If he moved out you could rent to a lodger and he/she'd be expected to pay. On what planet are people entitled to have Dad and Stepmum fund them a house deposit? What happens to people who don't have that benefit? Fuck 'em, eh, I'm Allright, Jack.

YANBU.

Jesus your ss has it easy. I was kicked out at 16 and had to fend for myself since then. Of course £5 a day is not too much to pay for full board and working from home to boot. He is an adult but there are some on mumsnet who probably think he should get pocket money too.
I was thrown out at 16 and had to fend for myself. I was dirt poor and struggled. I am in a much better position now but I will expect my sons to support themselves once they have jobs. I don't think doing everything for your kids does them any favours.

YANBU

He should be paying a third of his net pay.

Tell him to pay up or ship out.

Sounds as if OP does want him to move out but if the rent goes up it will be less likely he can save up towards that.

Doubling someone's rent,regardless of the ins and out is pretty steep, especially if he has no additional benefit or long term gain. However,mas someone has pointed out, £5 a day is very, very cheap. Why not discuss him contributing fairly to the food bills but keep the 'rent' the same? He does need to learn the cost of food etc or he will struggle hugely later.

Does he have any other expenses such as loans and does he save?

I paid £150 a month for living at home for a year as a student (postgrad legal practice course after llb). I agree with being charged that. I was an adult and I had a part time job so it was right I contributed. Plus I would be earning decent wage once qualified. Seriously though what is his plan? I lived at home as I literally couldn't afford not to, If I was 21 and earning 18k there's no way I would live at home, I moved out on 14k (2006). I don't understand adults wanting to stay with parents - maybe that's my parents 😁 - I wanted to have a bit of freeeedom.

My 22 year old DS earns approx £18k per year basic ( does a bit of overtime) He pays us £200 per month. I do what my parents did with me and am putting some of that aside and will give him a nice little lump sum back to him when he gets his own place.

I provide all meals for him except breakfast during the week, but Saturday night is takeaway night in our house and he pays for his own takeaway as his girlfriend is generally here.

I don't want to make money from him as I want him to try and save up and get some money behind him, but the £200 per month is taken/sent as his contribution to our household bills. In particular, our electricity and water usage shoots through the roof when he lives with us due to him owning/running half of Currys in his bedroom including a fridge freezer in his room, plus the leisurely half an hour at a time showers using our electric shower.

If we moved, and increased our mortgage, I wouldn't penalise him and charge him double for the increase in mortgage as that would be unfair.

"If he moved out, you'd be even worse off

I doubt it. A 21 year old there all day, eating every meal there, with his girlfriend there EOW. Factor in extra for bills and he's barely covering his costs, if that."

Well, for one thing I don't believe that the C Tax will be higher because he is there. For another, it doesn't cost that much more to have an extra person in the place when there are already four. A fridge, for example, costs the same to run no matter how many people live in the house.

The main expense would be food - and I did suggest that the SS and his girlfriend make dinner on the weekends. If they include the whole family in the meal, then it goes some way to tipping the balance back in the favour of the OP. And it means the OP won't be subbing the girlfriend at all.

Personally I think it's pretty obvious that if you are charging a family member rent, you don't charge market rates. Why would you?

It's unlikely the OP would be able to, or want to, rent out the room to anyone else.

Unless he chose to buy the house and take on the larger mortgage it isn't his problem that it is more expensive. £300 a month on a low salary like that seems a bit much for me. He shouldn't be on equal financial responsibility with the homeowners, he's a lodger

I agree with this, and similar comments.

It was yours and DH's choice to increase your monthly outgoings via a larger mortgage, so it's your responsibility to fund it. If you can't afford it, then you should've bought a cheaper property or not moved at all.

The extra food for the gf is a different matter, and if you want an extra contribution on top of the 150 for that, then that is reasonable. But doubling his monthly "rent" is not in the slightest reasonable.

If your ultimate goal is for him to leave home and leave independently, then he's not going to be able to do so if he's paying out double his rent at home.

'Sounds as if OP does want him to move out but if the rent goes up it will be less likely he can save up towards that.'

£300, all inclusive, and he's on £18k and can't manage to save a deposit on a flat? On what planet?