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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my neighbour should not have kept my parcel for 2 MONTHS

57 replies

rightsofwomen · 22/05/2017 15:43

Coming out of my front door on Saturday and meet a neighbour from about 5 doors down. I don't know her at all, but see her with her little dog quite a bit ie we both know we live near each other. I work from home so am in and out quite a bit.

She piped up, "oh I think I might have a parcel for you, number 20 right?" since I was stepping out of the door which has a 20 on it, this didn't take much intelligence

She scuttled off and came back with a parcel addressed to my son which the postie had attempted to deliver at the end of March.

She said she had knocked once and as I wasn't in, just kept it.

Granted the postie didn't leave a note through my door, and that's not her fault, but really??? 2 MONTHS? It was a birthday present for my son's 18th from my brother. We thought he'd decided not to do presents any more.

OP posts:

Areyoufree · 22/05/2017 15:46

I think the onus is on you to pick it up - she didn't know you hadn't had a card through your door. She's probably posting right now about neighbours who don't come round to pick their parcels up.

NellieFiveBellies · 22/05/2017 15:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

applemuffincake · 22/05/2017 15:49

It is a lovely day in the uk op

I think you sound stressed - really about a parcel

You got it back just say thank you and next time someone sends you something ask them to put delivery instructions of your liking if you are not in.

Hereward1332 · 22/05/2017 15:53

How on earth is the onus on OP to pick it up when she doesn't know it exists? FGS.

If it's not collected neighbour should have brought it round or put a note through your door asking you to collect.

Original poster

rightsofwomen · 22/05/2017 15:59

areyou I didn't know she had it!

I don't think it's expected to knock on all the doors of my neighbours every week on the off chance they have a parcel. I didn't know it was being sent.

OP posts:

Original poster

rightsofwomen · 22/05/2017 15:59

and of course I said thank you.

OP posts:

lalalalyra · 22/05/2017 16:01

I think she's unreasonable to have only knocked once but I have a parcel for a neighbor that's been here since Feb...

I've knocked 3 times. Put a note through and phoned the company. I'm not doing anymore.

So maybe she didn't know you didn't have a note abd thinks, like me, it's down to the person waiting on the parcel to collect.

You should aim your annoyance at whoever delivered it to her without leaving you a card.

Areyoufree · 22/05/2017 16:04

But she didn't know that! She would have assumed you had a card - it's unusual not to get one. Am not saying you should have telepathically been aware of the parcel's existence, just that I don't think it is that wrong of her not to have brought it round earlier. I've had parcels left in my house for weeks before - have tried knocking multiple times, but eventually it goes to the back of your mind. It's an imperfect system.

Batteriesallgone · 22/05/2017 16:06

It's not her fault, it's the delivery drivers. You should have got a note and knocked.

I'd be phoning them and complaining, then let it go.

pipsqueak25 · 22/05/2017 16:06

take it up with the delivery service about the lack of card, but she could have put a note through your door though.

WaitingYetAgain · 22/05/2017 16:06

The problem with taking a parcel round is you can end up doing it multiple times, which is really annoying when you get multiple parcels for various neighbours and don't even get a hello or thanks when dropping one off for the millionth time. We have literally been doing the courier's job in the past and had parcels cluttering up the hallway, which freaks me out in case they get damaged. Now I will only accept parcels for one house. They are friends and accept for us and us for them.

I would probably try once and then assume that you would pick it up as you'd have a card notification thingy. If you did not pick up within a week, I would probably try once more before calling the courier company to tell them to pick it up again.

It's the delivery company at fault. They are the unreasonable ones. I'd be giving them an earful a bit of feedback.

Butteredparsnip1ps · 22/05/2017 16:08

OP, YANBU

I struggle to get my head around some of the neighbour parcel drama on here sometimes, I really do. I'm quite happy to take parcels in for neighbours, does that disbar me from Mumsnet?

I also choose to pass them on to the relevant neighbour at the first opportunity so that they don't clog up my hall. I honestly used to think that's what everyone did!

KRG13 · 22/05/2017 16:09

She wasn't to know you didn't have a card, many people would presume that in fact you did have a card.

She probably just made a mental note to mention it when she saw you

mumeeee · 22/05/2017 16:09

It is the posties fault. They are supposed to leave a card. Your neighbour didn't know you hadn't had a card and might have wondered why on earth you hadn't collected the parcel

Quartz2208 · 22/05/2017 16:10

She knocked you weren't in left it on the side and then forgot. Seeing you prompted the memory

The issue is you did not get a card

MTBMummy · 22/05/2017 16:12

I'm apparently the weird parcel keeper in our street.

We had a note through our door saying package had been put behind the green bin, go and check and package is for our number but the next street. Anyway after 2 days of popping round every time I went out, I still hadn't got hold of them. DP drops the left package note writing we have their parcel through their letter box.

Lady neighbour now seems to be under the impression that we saw their package behind their bin and took it for safe keeping. And keeps giving me odd looks and has asked other neighbour's if packages are regularly taken...

Can't be arsed going over to explain the whole situation, surely she'd realise the left package note has DP's hand writing on it so must have been misdelivered.

MeowWoof · 22/05/2017 16:14

I can imagine this happening in my house, and here's how it would happen.

I'd received the parcel and leave it on the dining table. DP would put it somewhere out of sight and tell me about it. I'd forget. With it being out of sight, I'd never think about it again....

... And the parcel would emerge once again while looking for something else that has been lost.

SofiaAmes · 22/05/2017 16:16

YANBU. It's just discourteous to not make the effort to hand over a parcel in 2 months when you live 5 doors away! Our post office is forever omitting to leave cards and everyone knows that. I know that the post office when I lived in London was just as bad. I can't believe that it's improved in the last 10 years and therefore neighbor should have assumed that maybe parcel wasn't picked up because you didn't get a card. I cannot believe how willing some of the pp's are to tolerate the neighbor's discourteous behavior. OP...you might want to take on your responsibility in not calling your brother to find out where his present to his nephew was. (I have a brother who needs to be reminded about his niece and nephew's birthdays.)

Benedikte2 · 22/05/2017 16:16

I don't think it's reasonable nowadays to expect the the postman or delivery man will leave a note. Delivery people, especially, are so flat out on zero hours contracts that they feel they don't have time. It's not a satisfactory state of affairs but it's common enough for one not to be certain the addressee knows you are in possession of their parcel, so do give them the benefit of the doubt.

nocampinghere · 22/05/2017 16:19

don't think it's reasonable nowadays to expect the the postman or delivery man will leave a note

of course it is. we are not mindreaders. they always leave a note here.

manueltowers · 22/05/2017 16:21

I agree she should have put a note through your door, but it's not her fault the delivery company didn't leave you a card.

They are more at fault than she is. Maybe she's knocked a few times and just hasn't managed to catch you at home. Or has just forgotten about it by now.

Annoying, though.

Trollspoopglitter · 22/05/2017 16:24

I always stipulate "only if you leave them a card" if I'm taking a parcel in for someone. The delivery drivers always do, because they don't want to risk pissing off the person who works from home and is willing to take others' parcels in.

But the neighbour should have been way way more apologetic. Once she accepted the parcel, the onus was on her to make sure it gets to you. Forgetting is a bit crap. Don't sign for others' parcels if you're that forgetful.

Original poster

rightsofwomen · 22/05/2017 16:38

I have said it wasn't her fault.
Anyway - divided opinion. I shall call the delivery company.

OP posts:

NotCitrus · 22/05/2017 16:44

If she doesn't take parcels regularly she may not realise that half the time cards don't get left and half the rest of the time they end up lost under doormats/eaten by the dog/whatever.

Let's just say I'm on first name terms with my local Yodel and DPD drivers, and they and others usually leave cards, but still every couple weeks I go round to my neighbors to say "oi, get X to pick up his parcel, the dozy git" and they swear blind they never had a card. Ditto other neighbours that I'm more polite to. And we often don't get cards and the other neighbours take them in.

Comps83 · 22/05/2017 16:50

The happened to me years ago
I had to go and buy 2 more birthday presents
Was more annoyed with postie than neighbour

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