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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my neighbour should not have kept my parcel for 2 MONTHS

57 replies

rightsofwomen · 22/05/2017 15:43

Coming out of my front door on Saturday and meet a neighbour from about 5 doors down. I don't know her at all, but see her with her little dog quite a bit ie we both know we live near each other. I work from home so am in and out quite a bit.

She piped up, "oh I think I might have a parcel for you, number 20 right?" since I was stepping out of the door which has a 20 on it, this didn't take much intelligence

She scuttled off and came back with a parcel addressed to my son which the postie had attempted to deliver at the end of March.

She said she had knocked once and as I wasn't in, just kept it.

Granted the postie didn't leave a note through my door, and that's not her fault, but really??? 2 MONTHS? It was a birthday present for my son's 18th from my brother. We thought he'd decided not to do presents any more.

OP posts:
Cuppaoftea · 22/05/2017 16:53

Considering you're a stranger to her and not even immediately next door she's done you a big favour taking it in, coming round to knock, keeping it safe all this time and remembering when she saw you in the street and running back for it.

The fault lies with the delivery company and to an extent your Brother who should have notified you to look out for the present arriving.

Goingtobeawesome · 22/05/2017 16:56

How could the OP pick it up if she didn't know there was a parcel? Hmm.

RedSkyAtNight · 22/05/2017 16:59

Why has no one addressed the issue of what was in the parcel that OP received entirely out of the blue!

I'm feeling very jealous of all these people that get entirely unexpected parcels! I only get ones when I've ordered something online, or because someone has sent me something specifically (and will check to see if it's arrived).

diddl · 22/05/2017 17:04

What do you think that she should have done then?

Presumably it wasn't something that you were expecting otherwise you would have chased it up?

Likewise the sender didn't check that you had received it, so I can't see what harm was done tbh.

PuppyMonkey · 22/05/2017 17:04

She clearly just forgot she had it and it only registered when she saw you coming out of the door. I bet the card from the delivery driver got lost/kicked under something/blown away/thrown away.

twofingerstoEverything · 22/05/2017 18:38

YANBU or telepathic, OP.

righsofwomen · 22/05/2017 18:41

diddl That's right, I wasn't expecting it. As I said above, it was a present from my brother to my son. I thought it was odd he hadn't sent a present for his 18th but it's not something I would ask him about.

That would be rude of me. My brother had probably been thinking my son was rude to not thank him.

But he has been thanked now and the situation explained. There is no harm done, I never said there was.

Cuppaoftea Around Birthday time I think it can be assumed by people who send gifts that the recipient is already on the look out for parcels. My bro wouldn't consider asking me to look out.

To those who are saying she did me a big favour. Well, I didn't ask her to and she didn't really fulfil her side of what she agreed to do. I have seen her around my house many times in the last 2 months. I have no right to have expected her to have popped a note through the door, of course not, I just think she could have done - it's just a reasonable thing to do, isn't it?

MonkeysInShoes · 22/05/2017 18:47

Of course she fulfilled her bit, she took a parcel in for you!

righsofwomen · 22/05/2017 18:51

Yeah I guess. Then I suppose people who are not willing to go a step further in the event the recipient doesn't pick it up, then it would be better to decline.

righsofwomen · 22/05/2017 18:52

It was from Amazon prime, how do I know who delivered it - Royal Mail or a courier service?

PuppyMonkey · 22/05/2017 18:55

OP, you've missed a T in your user name and gone all invisible! Grin

viques · 22/05/2017 18:57

I would write her a quick thank you card for keeping the parcel for so long, and explain again that you were not expecting the parcel, and did not know it had been delivered since the courier/postie did not leave you a card. say how lucky you feel to have such kind and patient neighbours.

(then if she gets asked to take another parcel for you she might feel inclined to take it.)

bettytaghetti · 22/05/2017 19:02

YANBU. She could have tried again. Most sane people would realise that a card hadn't been left.
I frequently take in other neighbour's packages and they take in mine (think the delivery company wait around the corner to watch when I leave, but that's another story!), however one neighbour is a right pain and will never come & pick up her parcels and I feel like a real plonker standing ringing the bell at her gate, repeatedly trying to catch her in, so I will just say no to her stuff in future! I have left notes for her to say I have her parcels, but to no avail.
We recently rebuilt our house & ended up renting our neighbour's house during the process. Most of the delivery companies/posties all knew we were in next door and so we didn't change our address for most of our stuff & they knew to give it to us next door. However when we moved back in to our own house the odd bit of mail was still being delivered next door and one time when I went round to ask the new (renting) neighbours about something, she suddenly remembered she had some mail for us, some of which was 4 months old! I wouldn't mind but I had been round there several times, as they kept asking me how things worked in the house rather than get in touch with the owner who was abroad. Confused

Original poster
rightsofwomen · 22/05/2017 19:03

vique I really don't think a note and effusive gratitude is necessary. I thanked her, it's really not a big deal - I just asked on the Internet that's all.

OP posts:
BarbarianMum · 22/05/2017 19:05

The onus is on you to collect it. Did you not wonder where it'd got to?

I'll take in parcels gor neighbours but I do resent the idea that I'm supposed to then spend days popping round to see if they are in.

Original poster
rightsofwomen · 22/05/2017 19:13

RTFT

OP posts:
Quartz2208 · 22/05/2017 19:50

Aren't people allowed to forget?

diddl · 22/05/2017 19:50

"As I said above, it was a present from my brother to my son. "

Sorry, missed thatBlush

PunjanaTea · 22/05/2017 19:58

She probably just forgot or else never remembered when you were in. It's just one of those things, it wouldn't have been her top priority and she would have assumed you had a card through the door and have been relying on you to remember.

Cuppaoftea · 22/05/2017 19:59

Op extended family would always drop us a text or email to let us know to look out for a Birthday/Christmas parcel.

And it wouldn't have been rude at all to text your Brother and say 'completely understand if you've decided to stop presents now DS is 18, just double checking you haven't posted anything and we've missed it.'

It's then been 2 months and he hasn't checked with you it's arrived when you haven't mentioned it. The lack of communication between you and your Brother about this isn't this ladies fault, she's just helped you out and your DS has got his present (albeit belatedly).

Highalert · 22/05/2017 20:01

She probably just forgot or assumed you had a card through and thought you would go round for it.

jajabonks · 22/05/2017 20:10

I don't think she needs to go out of her way to give it to you,
This happens to me all the time time and even though I ask them to put a note through (delivery people) I still end up with god knows how many parcels for sometimes weeks. It's very annoying.
She wouldn't know you didn't get a card -she was good enough to take it in for you and after two months didn't you wonder where the parcel was /check up on where it had gone?

jajabonks · 22/05/2017 20:11

Just saw it was fro brother so why the hell is it this woman's fault your brother didn't check you had received it?

BellyBean · 22/05/2017 20:18

I'd have put a note through your door, then left it. You can't always assume you get a card.

greeeen · 22/05/2017 20:18

The only person in the wrong here is the postie, that's who you should be annoyed with. She would of assumed you were coming to collect it. In fact she is probably feeling eaqually put out that you never showed up to collect it as she would assume you had a note/expected it. It used to annoy me when neighbours didn't collect parcels or expected me to take them in and ferry them over.