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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take a pic off DD and her mates?

69 replies

Everythingwillbeok · 22/05/2017 09:58

Morning all, dropped off DD age 11 this morning at school for her residential trip away. 6am start all very excited. A few of them ran to the loo before they got on the coach, I walked towards the door of the hall to say hello to my friend who is also a teacher at the school. As the kids came down the steps back from the toilet I said Oh stay there while I get a quick picture of you all. There were 6 of them - all with matching hoodies on that the school had provided i just thought it would be a nice shot. As I put my phone in my pocket another lady who works in the office at school said 'can I have a word' - here we go I though. She's going to say don't post the photo on social media ect. Which I wasn't going to anyway, just send it to their mums on whatsapp. But no it wasn't that, it was to say that they didn't want any sort of exclusion on the trip and I shouldn't have only took a pic of a small group. And we have to be mindful of people feeling left out. Now is it me or is this out of order? There is 50 kids going, girls and boys aged 10/ 11. I couldn't have got a photograph with them all in, not would I want to. DD gets on with everyone and has loads of friends but she happened to go to the toilet with the ones she was stood with at the time as she had just handed in her packed lunch in a queue of children. I'm a bit flabbergasted really. I'm sure while they are away this week they will post pics on the Twitter page of various children doing different things, small groups. Not sure what the difference is. Did I do anything wrong?

OP posts:
nocampinghere · 22/05/2017 12:23

sounds like someone didn't want to be at school at 6am to me !

i'd be tempted to go back this evening and "have a word" right back. There must be some issue with inclusion in the year (typical of yr6 girls) and she got a bit carried away.

TheRealPooTroll · 22/05/2017 12:30

I can understand them not wanting you to take the picture tbh. But not for the reason given. You say you were in the hall. Parents aren't usually allowed to take photos inside a school without explicit permission - school performances etc.
Also they weren't to know you were friends with all the other mums. The other mums may not have wanted you to be photographing their kids.

AaoograhaHoa · 22/05/2017 12:30

I'd be tempted to get an attack of the "mindfulnesses" (not a word I know!) and check every photo the school posts includes the entire group, and has every single child visible - and if not ask to have a discrete word with the crazy lady - then lecture her about inclusion and how important it is to be mindful etc...

Lols.

peonyinparadise · 22/05/2017 12:38

Seriously? magine living in her world.

HeyHoThereYouGo657 · 22/05/2017 14:15

Christ almighty that is batshit

What a world !

This is why I suppose, everyone gets a prize on Sports Day too .

Creampastry · 22/05/2017 14:34

What a stupid cow!!! I'd have been too shocked to make a witty retort. Nuts!

Original poster
Everythingwillbeok · 22/05/2017 19:05

Thanks everyone. I feel better now. It's not nice to think you've done something out of line. Ironically there's a photo on twitter just posted of 7 of them eating lunch today. DD isn't on it. Big deal. But a couple of girls are and some boys too. Wonder if anyone felt excluded?

OP posts:
Original poster
Everythingwillbeok · 22/05/2017 19:09

They are away for a week, so can't go back this evening and say anything but I'm wondering if I should when they return, thanks for the replies.

OP posts:
viques · 22/05/2017 19:10

So if the teacher wanted to take a picture of the kids (say) in their canoe*,all of them would have to get in the canoe?

  • other exciting activities are available.
KERALA1 · 22/05/2017 19:12

Sounds like she is not the sharpest tool in the box and has misunderstood some training \guidance

viques · 22/05/2017 19:13

Sorry, posted too soon. As long as over the course of the week every child is included in some of the photos then no problem. The worst thing would be one child being missed off all the posted pictures, now that would be excluding and cause for moaning.

Astro55 · 22/05/2017 19:17

so could I tell my DD not to post photos of her with other friends on Snapchat in future" hmm

It is hurtful though - I'm sure your DD will be upset at some point - it's the reason there are age restrictions -

Original poster
Everythingwillbeok · 22/05/2017 20:05

Hi Astro I didn't make the snapchat comment. But not everyone can be on every photo all of the time surely?

OP posts:
Trb17 · 22/05/2017 20:11

Office lady needs to be retrained on a "how to stop being ducking ridiculous" course.

She's taking the madness way too far. You can't possibly ensure that every picture taken on the trip will include all 50 children and I'm sure the HT would agree that office lady went a big batshit there.

I'd have to have to speak to school about it myself but then for my own sanity I find it hard to let things lie so can't say it's wise advice. I'd certainly point out that the school put up pictures with fewer than 50 children though.

Office lady is clearly cuckoo.

Trb17 · 22/05/2017 20:11

Lol auto correct stopped me swearing Grin

Movingin2017 · 22/05/2017 20:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NeedMoreSleepOrSugar · 22/05/2017 20:34

If it had been a comment about no photos on school premises I'd have understood, or even one about not taking a picture of the whole group (as not everyone necessarily ok with it, or agreeable to social media posting etc if you'd planned to do that)

Don't understand her comment at all.

RTKangaMummy · 22/05/2017 20:46

I think what you did was totally fine

But there was any very very long thread on here a few weeks ago about people saying that the same pictures were taken of the same few children on school trips, fetes, concerts and other school activities

That only the same few children were always the ones chosen to be in the photos

So other MN parents do feel like this woman was trying to say

UKcanuck · 22/05/2017 20:58

I think office lady was out of order and you were totally fine. But KangaMummy's point reminded me of a school trip my DD went on several years ago where only one teacher had taken a camera, hence the only photos taken were of the group that that teacher was with. Which led to some parents feeling they had missed out on having photos that some others got. So if Mrs B had ever been on the receiving end of parents complaining about things like that, perhaps she was extra "mindful" of potential pitfalls; and as someone said upthread, maybe she was confusing the caution for adults ON the trip with adults OFF the trip! Being very charitable about it. But you were in no way wrong!

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