Merging finances

[namechange2105]

I've name changed for personal reasons but am interested in other people's opinions on merging finances when considering moving in together. For complex safeguarding reasons I won't go into on here, I don't get maintenance for my children but support them myself with my salary and a small amount of tax credits plus child benefit. I want to protect my home for my children. My bills NOT including the mortgage /food/petrol /children's school dinners / clothing us all etc etc come to around £900 a month. After I've paid for the things like food mentioned above, I have around £200 a month left which I try to save for emergencies.

If new man ever moved in, I would no longer be eligible for tax credits which is fair enough. He has proposed paying £500 a month all in which would leave him with around £1800 a month cash to play around with whilst I'd have around £100 to put away after paying for the necessities.

I really not sure if I'm right to feel uncomfortable about considering him moving in properly. I know he shouldn't be contributing to the mortgage, my life insurance for the kids, their school meals etc, clothing etc but the large discrepancy in 'freed up' salary makes me feel wary.

It's not £500 though anyway as you're losing tax credits, so if you get say £200 per month tax credits he's only contributing £300 net. Just seems too much of a mismatch. Stay living separately for the time being. My ExP was a Cocklodger who for the last few years averaged £30 per week contribution. The stress builds up, and the resentment. I never felt we were a partnership and this looks the same for you here too. In hindsight I was a fool and sweet talked. Think hard.

He should pay at least what he would pay to rent a room somewhere else as he has no joint ownership of the property, if you move him in at all. I often think the nicest thing I've done for my children in the 10 years since my divorce is NOT moving a man in. I can't see the point.
Can't yo uboth keep your own places and then just come and go between the two properties when you spend evenings together?

As well as the tax credit/universal credit risk, possible loss of child benefit if his income rises, extra council tax and risks regarding university loan amounts (I think they are all loans not grants for the low paid now) there are occasional rumblings that England might do what Scotland has done and give cohabitants rights to your property when you spilt up just like with marriage partners.

You can get a cohabitation drawn up by the way by a solicitor, perhaps the one who did your trust. I recommend that.