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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Buying a house

27 replies

HomeDesire2017 · 21/05/2017 08:57

NC as this post contains some personal information...

Morning all

Just looking to get some opinions and DP and I are divided...

Background: We're currently engaged with a baby. We live together in a rented property and have done for 2 years. DP is a teacher and I'm a student.
We'd be using the help to buy deposit scheme.

Option 1: Put off wedding and focus on getting a house asap. We could get a small 2 bedroom house with a low mortgage quite easily. Lose £500 wedding venue deposit but be better off financially each month.

Option 2: Get married next year (we have the money) as planned and wait to buy a house until we're both earning (2.5 years). We'll have a combined income of 50k+ and will be able to afford a decent sized 4 bedroom house.

Which option is most reasonable?

OP posts:

Bluntness100 · 21/05/2017 09:01

I'd buy the house now,odds are overwhelming that prices will increase and rent is just dead money. Get the house, then get married when you can afford it. Put the rent money towards paying your own mortgage, notsomeone else's.

Sassypants82 · 21/05/2017 09:06

Well we got married first & afterwards I was a bit annoyed that I'd spent so much on a wedding when it really could have gone to better use. Having said that, it's only with hindsight of having had my big wedding, I can appreciate that.

We bought in 2015, a big, beautiful brand new dream house really, which we wouldn't have managed to get in 2013 when we married, for various reasons. It's worth noting that money we received as gifts from our wedding ultimately went towards our wedding deposit.

In your scenario, I'd hold out to afford the better house & go through the (stressful!) purchasing process once, unless you think you'd make some money buying a small house now & selling in a few years?

Sassypants82 · 21/05/2017 09:07

Sorry, HOUSE deposit.

witsender · 21/05/2017 09:09

House now, then you can save even more. Who knows what house prices will do over time

witsender · 21/05/2017 09:10

If a small 2 bed would be 'easy', then could you stretch slightly bigger now?

LooksLikeImStuckHere · 21/05/2017 09:11

Option 2. You get to have the wedding and then can have a bigger house to hopefully stay in longer, with less money wasted on moving fees. And less upheaval for a small child.

Dragongirl10 · 21/05/2017 09:12

House first without question, lower outgoings and security from the uncertanty of renting.....married later.

MaryShelley1818 · 21/05/2017 09:13

I'd wait for the bigger/better house especially if you're likely to want to upgrade when you're earning. Moving house is very expensive and I wouldn't plan on doing it twice in the space of a few years.

witsender · 21/05/2017 09:14

Or small wedding and house?

TestTubeTeen · 21/05/2017 09:22

Maybe Option 2 BUT not because you have spent the money on a wedding. Have a low key budget wedding whenever you like.

And you never know. What if you have or want another baby by then? Will childcare fees allow this big 4 bed house??

NoSquirrels · 21/05/2017 09:23

Depends on your priorities- only you know how important a big/perfect wedding is or if the stability of owning your own home would be better.

Are you likely to need to move for jobs etc when training ends?

Are you in an area where schools etc are good & you'd stay long term?

There is something to be said for having flexibility to be able to move if need be, and being married gives your position stability long term - but if you feel insecure renting then buy now.

Don't spend too much on wedding and you'll have more choices.

yoyo1234 · 21/05/2017 09:26

I would wait (and l never thought u would advise someone to stay in rented). Moving costs a lot and causes a lot of upheaval. House prices are (I think) unlikely to go made with elections and brexit. Just try not to spend too much on the wedding (I got pregnant with ds 1 soon after my wedding and ended up regretting the money spent on the wedding as I thought of all the things for him it could have been spent on).

HeddaGarbled · 21/05/2017 09:59

Get married ASAP. Your earning potential will be affected by your childcare responsibilities and at the moment you have no financial protection if you split up.

specialsubject · 21/05/2017 10:15

Getting married costs about £200. Substitute the word 'wedding' with 'gigantic one day party' and see what you think then.

mando12345 · 21/05/2017 10:20

Agree with specialsubject, just get married without the big party to protect yourself if, god forbid, things go wrong in your relationship. Then you can get your house too.

BumWad · 21/05/2017 10:20

House

TiredMumToTwo · 21/05/2017 10:22

I'd buy the house now, future is very uncertain at the moment - get on the ladder whilst you can.

Alexandra87 · 21/05/2017 10:30

It would be house first for me

FairyDogMother11 · 21/05/2017 10:38

We bought the house first but we didn't have a baby on the way. In your situation I'd have pushed getting married (no wedding, just an official ceremony) and then bought the house because like other posters have said house prices will only rise. If you can do both then I'd say that's the best way! You can always have a party when you're settled.

EllieMentry · 21/05/2017 10:41

I agree with the advice to get married to protect yourself. But I also think this is a good time to buy.

Would you consider getting married with just a couple of witnesses (inexpensive) and doing the big party later when you can afford it?

Then you'd be able to buy the house now.

Babbaganush · 21/05/2017 10:43

As you have a child I would say marriage is important for your financial security. Legal marriage now and big party in the future? Small wedding?

ballerinabelle · 21/05/2017 10:50

House

Leopard12 · 21/05/2017 12:02

I'm going to go against everyone else the wedding is already planned and you don't currently have the earning potential to get a long term house. Solicitors, mortgage and moving costs could easily be £3000 and would all need paying again if you want to move again not to mention any decorating and new furniture which you may want for each new house. If you wouldn't be happy long term in a house you can currently afford and know your income will be going up I would just wait.

FlyingJellyfishintheAttic · 21/05/2017 12:09

We bought the house first and did registry office and cake. Cost £145. We have big party one day once attic conversion is complete.

Kokusai · 21/05/2017 12:11

Get married. You'd be a fool to lower your earning potential (baby) without the security of marriage.

But then getting married need to cost the same as a house deposit.

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