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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sick to death of DH causing arguments

37 replies

ALittleBiPolarSunshine · 20/05/2017 20:58

He's been like it for about a week. For example the kids do something trivial and he goes in a mood - I point out that it's trivial so he'll say "yes but last Thursday so and so happened and two years ago that other thing happened ... and it's nothing to do with the current event but he brings all these historical pieces of evidence together to create an argument.

Tonight we were watching a film. My phone was about to die so I put it on charge and asked to borrow his phone (we always use each other' phones) and he starts kicking off saying I've drained my phone and now I want to drain his, it's a loss take, what am I doing? He needs his phone back to take a photo of the dog etc etc etc 😳

Anyway in the film we were watching I realised the main character looked like a bloke I work with. I told DH "he looks like Mike from work" so he starts going off on one saying "oh? Who's mike? Not heard that one before (untrue), mike and his harem of women eh? Mike fan club ... " Confused. Anyway I was on Facebook at the time so pulled up a picture of Mike (from a mates photo, I'm not actually friends with him) and show DH "here, don't you think he looks like the guy off the film?" So he immediately gets all arsey, moves my feet away from him and starts kicking off about "fancying mike" and looking up random blokes on his phone etc etc!!! This is NOT normal behaviour for him.

He got a shave on Friday which is really weird, he normally likes his stubble as long as possible over the weekend. Sex has has completely died also.

AIBU to wonder what the fuck is up with him or just being paranoid??

OP posts:
Hairyfairy01 · 20/05/2017 21:01

Sorry, I think he's shagging someone else.

WellErrr · 20/05/2017 21:01

He sounds a prize prick.

He also seems to be behaving like some men do when they're cheating. Not that I'm saying he is. But a few red flags there.

WellErrr · 20/05/2017 21:02

Hairy not quite as diplomatic as me Grin

NotYoda · 20/05/2017 21:02

What are you thinking?

Because I'm thinking he's hiding something and deflecting by accusing you of something

ALittleBiPolarSunshine · 20/05/2017 21:03

Yeah I know the red flags are all over but he never goes out without me, has no hobbies and rarely socialises unless I'm with him. He went out last week with blokes from work and that was the first time since Christmas. When would he get chance to see her?

OP posts:
WellErrr · 20/05/2017 21:03

OP did you have an inkling he was cheating already and came here for validation?

DoloresTheRunawayTrain · 20/05/2017 21:03

He's playing away and trying to make you the bad guy to justify it.

WellErrr · 20/05/2017 21:04

They'll always find a chance.

NotYoda · 20/05/2017 21:04

BTW, you are very busy tonight, what with the worrying about canabism (sic)

ALittleBiPolarSunshine · 20/05/2017 21:05

I'm confused, instincts telling me something is untoward but I can't see how he'd do it, he's always either at home or work.

OP posts:
Ethylred · 20/05/2017 21:05

Lunchtime.

Believeitornot · 20/05/2017 21:06

So he went out last week for the first time.... has he any more nights coming up....

ScarletForYa · 20/05/2017 21:08

He can easily do it at work.

Or maybe he just fancies someone at work and can't get her, so he's taking it out on you.

ALittleBiPolarSunshine · 20/05/2017 21:10

He's not mentioned anymore nights outs coming up. This is what I mean, in some respects all the red flags point to it but then in other respects, they don't.

I've checked his phone, all clear. Internet history all clear (but then I know he's able to use incognito browsing).

OP posts:
LexieLulu · 20/05/2017 21:16

He sounds very guilty and on edge Confused

pipsqueak25 · 20/05/2017 21:17

maybe some thing happened when he was out with his mates, it started a week ago around the same time as the boys night out ? may be he's getting ribbed for not going out or that he's always with you ? may be someone gave him the come on ? shitty situation though.
you need to talk and find out, is everything okay with his work ?

ALittleBiPolarSunshine · 20/05/2017 22:04

He won't talk, says I'm being ridiculous if I question anything

OP posts:
Motoko · 20/05/2017 22:08

Why did you need to use his phone if you were watching a film?

Have you spoken to him about his attitude? Maybe something's happened and he's getting stressed about it. Not that it condones his behaviour.

ALittleBiPolarSunshine · 20/05/2017 22:16

The film we were watching was boring

OP posts:
magoria · 20/05/2017 22:54

It doesn't really matter if he is cheating or not.

He is treating you like shit right now and you and your DC must be on eggshells waiting for the next mood/outburst.

Not a way to live.

You deserve better.

caz323 · 20/05/2017 22:58

Did you start the cannibal thread earlier???? Very suspicious.

BellyDancer124 · 20/05/2017 23:06

Hmm You're having a weird sat night OP! Grin

skyzumarubble · 20/05/2017 23:09

He's making out you're cheating to hide his, basically.

caz323 · 20/05/2017 23:16

You def started the cannibal thread earlier aswell. Have you taken something??!!

AdoraBell · 20/05/2017 23:37

Complete arse, and lots of arses people project. So when they are lying about something or cheating they accuse their partner of cheating to deflect attention away from their dishonesty.