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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not recommend rival providers?

29 replies

Snap8TheCat · 19/05/2017 21:48

well actually I do provide details but don't recommend as I don't want any comeback on me.

I'm a childminder and if I'm not able to accommodate someone's request they always ask me to recommend someone else. It's odd because I don't know of any other business where you would do this. I do get slightly miffed because I pay for decent advertising and try to be prompt when responding to enquiries.

Can you think of any?

OP posts:
ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 19/05/2017 21:53

Yes I can think of a good reason why they would ask.

Because they value your professional opinion and because they need a childminder.

Don't be so bloody mean spirited, if you haven't got space for them what difference does it make.

To be honest I would have thought that childminders had other childminder friends that they passed business recommedations onto. Don't you and your friends pass business each others way ????

YABU

YesILikeItToo · 19/05/2017 21:55

Loads of businesses do this, from shops all the way up to corporate law firms.

yorkshapudding · 19/05/2017 21:57

Plenty of businesses/professionals do this. Don't see the harm, if you have no space anyway it's not like you're missing out. If you don't know any other childminders then fair enough, but I don't think they're doing anything wrong by asking. It's difficult to find reliable childcare.

divadee · 19/05/2017 21:59

I was recommended a different solicitor at a different firm for a complex business transaction and this guy was a specialist. So it does happen. And as others have said you don't have room so you are not losing out on any money.

SparklyLeprechaun · 19/05/2017 21:59

I found my kids' piano teacher through a recommendation from another teacher who didn't have spaces. Same with my cleaner.

What is it to you if a competitor gets some business that you declined? You're not losing anything and further down the line they might return the favour.

ClashCityRocker · 19/05/2017 22:04

Yep happens all the time in my profession, too (accountancy).

And works both ways, if the client needs a service we or a 'rival' firm can't offer.

If you can't accommodate them, a recommendation for another may just earn you a recommendation back if you do have spaces to fill... And you've not lost anything by offering a recommendation if you wouldn't have been able to take them on anyway.

Also, when you go to the shop and say 'have you got xyz' and they say 'sorry, no, but try xyz shop and they might have it'....even if they couldn't help on that occasion they've left a good impression.

Original poster
Snap8TheCat · 19/05/2017 22:11

hmmm ok.

As I said I do give the contact information but it's the recommending bit that I'm uncomfortable with.

Yes I do have CM friends. Some I would, and do, recommend but they aren't necessarily very local and so aren't suitable for things like collecting at my nearby school.

OP posts:
Krispiesquare · 19/05/2017 22:11

I'm a bookkeeper and if I don't have the space I recommend someone else Confused

CormorantDevouringTime · 19/05/2017 22:21

I chose the photographer for my wedding based on the recommendation of my first choice who wasn't available that weekend.

As other posters have said, it happens all the time in loads of professions. And it's very common for childminders to have buddies who they chat to at playgrounds and toddler groups.

And let's face it, in that sort of situation you probably get a very good sense of which of your rivals you'd chose to mind your own DC if you needed someone and which you definitely wouldn't. If you don't happen to have any mates in the area who you'd happily recommend then just say "sorry, no I can't help" but it's a perfectly reasonable request and wouldn't result in you losing out in any way. After all if this child, who you can't take, goes to your rival, then she may be full up when the next child comes along and you have a vacancy that needs fillljng.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 19/05/2017 22:22

Of course businesses recommend others if they are unable to help.

Scottishchick39 · 19/05/2017 22:41

I'm an estate agent who deals with sales only, we often get asked for recommendations for rental agents. I let them know who I'm aware of but make it clear that I'm not aware of how these companies perform and that it's not my personal recommendation.

Scottishchick39 · 19/05/2017 22:43

I do also get asked to recommend solicitors to deal with conveyancing and if our solicitors can't deal with it (conflict of interest) then I do have others that I can recommend through personal experience and professional experience. I always let the buyer know why I have recommended them.

FizzyGreenWater · 19/05/2017 23:07

I do this with lots of things. Especially if you know nothing about the area, you hope that the person who can't help you will know the market (their market) and point you towards a good bet!

B&bs/plumbers/childminders/booksellers, everything.

shinyredbus · 19/05/2017 23:11

errrrr OP - lots of businesses do this - if you can't accommodate the extra work, why do you care if you recommended someone you know? Bit mean of you if you ask me - they value your professional opinion.

We recently had a builder tell us he couldn't do some work for us, we asked if he knew anyone that would/could, he recommended someone, and they were brilliant.

Original poster
Snap8TheCat · 20/05/2017 06:13

Ok I don't think I explained it very well.

I worry that if I 'personally recommend' someone and it doesn't work out or worse, then they would come back and blame me somehow. At the very least I'd feel quite guilty.

OP posts:
SofiaAmes · 20/05/2017 06:35

I am an architect. We pass on work to fellow architects all the time. Give them a list of local child minders and say that you don't have any personal experience with them.

Sunshinesuperman · 20/05/2017 07:31

I was given a recommendation for my DC's language teacher by a tutor who had no space. I think this is pretty normal.

nannynick · 20/05/2017 07:37

You suggest others who you have personally met and tell the parent that you know them in a professional capacity, meet up at local places on occasion, see them in the school playground, but like with any childcare provider, the parents need to satisfy themselves that the provider fits their needs, so should arrange a visit and ask to see registration certificate and other documents.

If you don't know the other provider well enough then don't pass on details, give the generic details for Family Information Service.

insancerre · 20/05/2017 07:41

You're recommending a cm, not setting up an arranged marriage!
I run a nursery and there are local ones that I would recommended and those I wouldn't
I doubt anyone would be so petty as to blame you if they made a wrong choice

Gizlotsmum · 20/05/2017 07:46

You could pass on details but state that you don't actually know their set up personally. If I was looking for a childminder I would probably ask if you knew anyone else, but I would still go and visit them/ do all the checks I felt necessary as if I had found them myself.

charlestonchaplin · 20/05/2017 07:48

Don't recommend if you can't recommend and don't recommend if you don't want to. You don't have to do things you don't want to just because others do.

TheInimitableMrsFanshawe · 20/05/2017 07:50

On what basis could they possibly blame you? And what do you think would happen if they do?

ChasedByBees · 20/05/2017 07:54

You can suggest rather than recommend and give the caveats others here recommend.

Kokusai · 20/05/2017 07:56

It's normal.

We recommend other firms who are more suited to the work if we don't take it on in my business.

eurochick · 20/05/2017 07:58

We do it all the time too, and also benefit from referrals.

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