To ask for information from parents with three children..

[Calvinlookingforhobbs]

Posting for traffic. When considering a third baby, the uniform response so far has been "what about your car, and holidays". I'm just wondering how much more work a third is, and how much more the cost, in relative terms to two. Are the cars and holidays the big deal everyone assumes? Thank you

To add - I personally haven't found 3 to be particularly difficult or hard work. DC1 has disabilities and has always needed a lot of extra care so in my case, DC2/3 were 'easy' in comparison.
Life is busy and we don't have any family or friends that are able to help, so yes there's lots of juggling and running around but as a PP mentioned, I know some families with one child who do more activities than all of mine put together!
My 3 get on well together, they have their moments but for the most part they play together and look after each other. All 3 say they would love another brother or sister, so I don't think they have 'lost out' in any way by being part of a bigger family. I have absolutely no regrets, and am very happy and thankful to have them all.

All three have an age gap from eldest to youngest of 4.5 years. Never had to but a four seater but had an MPV for a while that fit all three in. No need now as rarely for out all five of us, youngest two on boosters and eldest taller than me!!! Holidays can be a pain but we don't like package and tend to book flights as soon as they are released then Owners Direct apartment - so much cheaper than the tour operators and so we can eat out etc. Laundry has been the biggest shock of them all....it's constant :( Wouldn't change it and love going out as a team. I'm often on my own with the three due to DH work and never feel 'outnumbered' they know no different so you just have to be organised.

And ignore my hopeless typing etc....but you get the gist!

As a lone parent, 3 is very hard work. The logistics of being in 3 places at the same time at the weekend are impossible sometimes.
I'm trying to find us a new house at the moment, and I have very little choice of affordable 3 bed houses- a 2 bed would be much more do-able, but landlords are not keen to let a 2 bed to a mum with 3 children.
The cost of residential trips is hard enough with 2, when my smallest is big enough, I dread to think.
We've only had one holiday since my youngest was born- I just don't have the funds to do it with three in tow.

For me, going from 2 to 3 was much harder than going from 1 to 2, mainly because DC3 was a terrible sleeper. He's 7 now, still an early riser, and I still think wistfully of how much more sleep is have had over the last 7 years if I'd stopped at 2!

We will be having #3 in October all things being well. Not planned, but we are all pleased. We home ed so are set up without the need for childcare (both work part time), have a big enough car and have a camper van for holidays which we are well practised in. The other kids will be 7 and 5 when this one comes along, so we are out of the baby years here. I found the first year of 1-2 hard, but am anticipating this being easier for various reasons.

In the long term I think we will need to extend the house, we have enough space at the moment but not when they are teens I wouldn't think. I am also considering the fact that #1 and #2 are close in all respects and while they are hugely excited about #3's impending arrival it may feel left out long term due to the age gap. DH thinks we should have a 4th (he is one of 4) but I have told him to put that firmly out of his mind as I have enough to think about and get used to with this one's arrival!

it much more "crowd control" with three, keep on your toes, anticipate everything, be ready...ALWAYS

Other than that PPs have it covered...cars, holidays, dinners out...table for < Waiter adopts incredulous tone> FIVE ???

mine all get on well, generally. I have BGB, with a 3 year then two year gap so not overly chaotic, but I have few memories of ds2's first year that are not overlaid with military precision!

We have 3 Dses aged 3, 6, 8 (2.4 yrs gap, 2.10 yrs gap). So far it is fairly easy going, trickier than it could be as middle one has SEN.

Cars - we have a Citroen Picasso with 2 Hbb & a 5-point harness. It's fine & cheap to run, big boot too (fits buggy plus 5 small suitcases easily).

Holidays- so far we've only been self-catering but we prefer that anyway. Just had a week in a villa in Portugal in school easter hols for about £1300 Inc flights & car hire. Go to France during October half term for £350 ferry & Eurocamp static home. The trick is to go during school holidays other than the big summer one.

Childcare we have found fine as both sets of GPS willing to babysit at weekends plus 1 set of close friends.

Activities are very expensive! If each DC does 2 clubs each at £40 per term, that's £120 per term. Ds2 gers dla so that pays for his, ditto days out (gets a free carer to lots of places).

Clothes not so bad, we hand down between the 3 boys, only really trousers & shoes that need replacing.

One-to-one time is tricky but I've started getting DH to stay with 2 while I take 1 shopping & Costa in Tesco.

Playdates can be tricky as bigger children don't really want little ones hanging around. But we manage.

I did have 3 of 5 & under at one point & found parks difficult once Ds3 was on the move, as they all went in different directions. But that only lasted for a year & now they all play together & look after each other.

I don't work, partly due to having 3 DC & partly due to 1 having SEN. I will try to work once ds3 at school but will have to be self-employed so I can attend all necessary appointments & events.

The hardest part for us wasn't really the money, although yes having 3 does seem to hike prices up massively. It was the being outnumbered and everything now just seems chaotic! I feel like when we go somewhere now we take over the place there is always someone fighting or crying!
I definitely feel like the 3rd tipped us over the edge! Wouldn't change her for the world though of course!

I'm probably not a reply you want as I have no idea what 2 is like. I have 1 plus twins. We worked out we could just about afford a second child. We hadn't realised about the buy-one-get-one-free promotion...

In my opinion it is quite a difference. The car is a thing - until you have 1 or more who doesn't need a car seat.

Hotels and almost all other "family deals" are a nuisance as they're almost exclusively aimed at 2 + 2. My littlies are all under 5, staying in a hotel means two rooms and my husband and I being in one each in solitary confinement from bedtime.

If your older ones are a bit older then maybe the "being outnumbered" thing won't be as much of a big deal.

My worry would be university fees. Stopped at 2

We hardly noticed when number three came along, he just fitted in and got on with it. When you have two your whole lives already revolve around your children and one more doesn't make much difference.

We go camping but we've also been to Florida twice and not found anything difficult because of three children.

I had 2 boys then 2 boys and a girl when they were grown up iykwim - 3 is way way way harder than 2. You can't book last minute holidays and you do need a car with 3 rows (need to have a scrapping gap) - but that is just the start really. You can't take them to theme parks when they are little as u need a 1 on 1 for most rides, you can only take 2 swimming in your own and one always feels left out.

That said I love all 5 to bits and I have the advantage of knowing it gets a lot lot easier :-) xxx

Oh and instead of being down a&e 3x more than a parent if a single child you are down there constantly because between fights and goading the smallest to "Jump, Jump, Jump!!" It actually increases exponentially.

Lol hotel rooms - me and hubby spend the evenings texting xx

We go on holiday abroad and need to book early to get an apartment in an aparthotel - my 3 are twins boys age 4 and little girl age 2 x

The hardest thing is if you have a large age gap between 2 and 3. Then it's harder to find days out and holidays that suit everyone.

We normally end up spreading between 2 rooms when we go to hotels - it is hard to find hotels with family rooms for 5.

Which means that Dh and eldest go in one room and I go in another with the youngest two. Not great.

These are all the things I'd wished I'd known when I thought about having third. I wish I'd found mumsnet then. Personally even Sen aside I wish I'd stopped at two.

We did upgrade to a large seven seater after having 3, although managed for a while with a 5 seater. The big car gives them all so much more space though so less squabbling and can give lifts (plus meant we didn't have to change car for dc4 who we've recently had!)

It does make after school activities expensive, but we've let each child do two each at the moment - works out okay. Obviously the general costs shoes clothes etc are more especially as they get older you can't really pass stuff down so much, but you could always shop around for a good deal.

I disagree about can't take them to theme parks or swimming etc. The logistics may be a little trickier but we've managed it - theme parks let one adult ride again with the next child for example, there's always a way round it so I don't think those little things are too much of a big deal.

Also to a pp do waiters seriously give you an incredulous look asking for a table for 5??? I didn't think 3 kids was particularly unusual really!

Op I think it's really down to if you feel deep down that you want another child or don't feel finished, then you'd find a way to make it work. It is harder to split your time, and it is more expensive, but it's another child to love and if you really want that then it's tends to be worth it. The kids don't necessarily need to miss out by being in a big family. Mine have been asking me to have another (dc5!) so they can't feel too hard done by! (I'm not planning to though)

The car isn't an issue, having a 4th though would mean you'd need a 7 seater.
Cost wise its extra but not more expensive then the others.
Holidays are more stressful, as caring for 2 children +newborn can be tiring.

I would say having a third was a shock to my system. I had a 2 yo and 6 yo and a newborn, and felt like I needed an extra set of hands and eyes as well.
They say 3 children is the hardest number, not 2 not 4 or 6 but 3.

It's still lovely though and you should definitely have a third if its right for you.

It depends on your lifestyle. Ours are 11, 8 and 2, we didn't need a new car as 1 baby seat and 1 booster fit in the back and dc1 doesn't need a seat.

Our holidays are always UK based and self catering so haven't increased in cost as dc3 has so far been in a cot, or more usually sleeping with us.

I'm a sahm so haven't had to factor in childcare costs. I am hoping to return to work once dc3 gets 15hrs at preschool but have no idea what work and whether it will be feasible with childcare costs in school holidays.

The main thing for me is time and attention for Dc's 1&2. I don't feel like I give them enough individual attention, it's just a constant round of school, homework juggling the basic needs of all 3. I find it hard to keep on top of reading books/ homework/spellings/activities whereas when I had 2 it was on top of everything! That said dc3 has been a huge blessing to our family, the older 2 love her to bits and she's just slotted right in and has always been 'easy'. I wouldn't change having 3 for the world and it definitely makes life more interesting. Chaos but fun.

Dc 3 is due in 4 weeks, so I'm very interested to read all of these, people have such a mixed experience. I am now starting to worry how we'll cope, but I guess you just have to, don't you? (Dc3 was not exactly planned, but is very much wanted)
We have 2 years 9 months between 1-2 & it'll be 3 years 9 months between 2-3.