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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To use the disabled loo when I'm with my son?

999 replies

RestingBitch · 19/05/2017 17:06

My sons 9 months and obviously still in his pushchair. The majority of the time it's just me and him when I go into town/visit places. When I need the loo I get an attack of conscious, I normally use the disabled loo so I can bring him in with me.
Can't use a regular loo as I can't get him in the cubicle in his chair. Don't want to take him out of his pushchair and plonk him on the floor as the floors are manky and he will eat whatever is on the floor. He'll also probably try and crawl under the gap and interrupt someone else. Don't really like the idea of leaving him in his pushchair whilst I nip in the cubicle, so providing there isn't someone waiting for the disabled loos, AIBU to use them? I'm usually in and out and so far I've never encountered anyone waiting for one, or the impatient rattle of the door. If I am being unreasonable, short of pissing myself what's the options?

Not a troll, and don't work for any newspapers :).

OP posts:
anon1987 · 19/05/2017 19:10

Yellowox I was born with a bladder dysfunction, it means that I am unable to hang on for long. I was in and out of hospital as a child. Nobody ever told me it was a disability?
It never occurred to be that I had priority on disabled toilets?

SauvignonBlanche · 19/05/2017 19:11

I see the OP has fucked off... Hmm

TheFairyCaravan · 19/05/2017 19:11

It's odd how we have toilets for men and toilets for women and they don't need policing because folk go where they should isn't it?

I seriously don't understand why people can't do the same when it comes to using a disabled toilet.

Llamacorn · 19/05/2017 19:12

Haven't read the whole thread sorry, I'm disabled and so is dd3.
I wouldn't particularly be bothered if I had to wait for a disabled toilet and a mum and buggy came out. A lot of disabled toilets have the baby facilities in there too.

The only time I have been annoyed was when dd3 was waiting (she had an urgent need) and a mum came out with a baby in the buggy when there was an empty baby change cubical next door.

The amount of times I've been waiting for the toilets in my wheelchair and people come out looking so sheepish/embarrassed and mutter sorry. There are so many invisible illnesses I wouldn't question anyone having to use the disabled loos, there's no way to tell if they are genuinely needed or not and sometimes you've just got to go.

anon1987 · 19/05/2017 19:13

TheFairy no actually. The other day my 11 yo dd was washing her hands and jumped out of her skin when a man with a beard and hairy legs wearing a dress and wig, went and washed his/her hands also.

yellowox · 19/05/2017 19:13

Well you can have a can't wait key and radar key. I would prefer to use disabled toilets then explain to random strangers that I piss myself so I need to push in the queue or if I need to change pad clothes . It is a disability just because someone can walk doesn't mean they shouldn't use disabled toilets.

GardenGeek · 19/05/2017 19:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SynysterGates · 19/05/2017 19:15

Tnot this shite again
Why is mn obsessed with using stuff designed for disabled people
Op is not disabled so i bu to use the disables toilet.

anon1987 · 19/05/2017 19:16

Yellowox have they ever offered you an indwelling catheter?

MaisyPops · 19/05/2017 19:16

What about this then, chain cafe in a small town. They have 1 toilet at the back for customers. It's also an accessible toilet with baby change in. (Same is true in quite a few of their smaller shops).

According to some posters I should not use the only customer toilet in an establishment I'm paying to eat in because it happens to be accessibly set up. Based on this thread I should check that on the door they have a male, female, baby changing and accessible sign on the door and if it's not made clear then I should not use the toilet and walk across the street to the unclean public toilets so not to piss somebody off.

The alternative is that it's the only toilet, used by all patrons who are eating there and people are just polite if people need to jump the queue/have a baby to change we let them in front. (I prefer the 2nd situation. Everyone is polite. But I'm prepared to be told that I'm wrong).

BeyondStrongAndStable · 19/05/2017 19:19

Question is, where do all the straw men pee? Can they use the accessible toilet?

hazeyjane · 19/05/2017 19:19

Ok, but this thread (and others) aren't talking about those toilets, they are talking about the existing facilities. Our local hospital still has men's, women's and those with a wheelchair symbol, as does our, supermarket, town centre car park, library, shopping centre, cinema.....etc etc.

yellowox · 19/05/2017 19:19

Yes but I don't want to use one why should I have to wear a catheter bag which can give me infections to please non disabled people using disabled toilets? I don't have accidents every single time I need the loo so I don't want to wear one that's my choice.

hazeyjane · 19/05/2017 19:21

Maisypops - who is saying you shouldn't use that toilet?

It's a multi purpose loo, so why would anyone say you can't use it?

LittleShirtDeanTattooDream · 19/05/2017 19:22

I once heard a couple of snowflake parents moaning about people with blue badges parking in the parent and child spaces.

What is it about normal women turning into absolute entitled, ignorant, nasty women once they've given birth to, seemingly, the next messiah?

Use your initiative. Don't use the disabled toilet unless you're disabled. It's not difficult is it.

Waltermittythesequel · 19/05/2017 19:22

Nobody is saying that Maisy.

Llamacorn · 19/05/2017 19:22

I wouldn't wish an indwelling catheter on my worst enemy! Constant pain, infections, leakage, hard to conceal, difficulty getting changed. I had one for 18months and use self intermittent ones now.

yellowox can certainly use the disabled toilets and most definitely should!

IDontLoveGlitterGlitterLovesMe · 19/05/2017 19:25

What is it about normal women turning into absolute entitled, ignorant, nasty women once they've given birth to, seemingly, the next messiah?

Grin
Apairofsparklingeyes · 19/05/2017 19:25

I'm disabled and I rarely go out to public places like shopping centres because of selfish people like some pp on this thread.

It isn't ok to use a disabled toilet unless you are disabled.

GardenGeek · 19/05/2017 19:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MaybeNextWeek · 19/05/2017 19:27

'The other day my 11 yo dd was washing her hands and jumped out of her skin when a man with a beard and hairy legs wearing a dress and wig, '

A bit of trans bashing too how lovely. Why did your 11yr old 'jump out of her skin'? Surprised she noticed any hairy legs Confused

hazeyjane · 19/05/2017 19:29

Out of interest gardengeek - why don't hospitals have any fully accessible toilets (well the ones we've been to anyway!), considering they must have a higher number of older children and adults who may need changing?

belfastbap · 19/05/2017 19:29

What's an "attack of conscious"? Aren't you awake when you take your baby out? Are we all asleep and being conscious is a disability?

Waltermittythesequel · 19/05/2017 19:30

Maybe don't start on an 11 year old who was surprised to see a man in a women's bathroom.

Way to derail...

MaybeNextWeek · 19/05/2017 19:32

'Its really not rocket science. I just thought people may be unaware of the features which are designed into the toilets specifically for a wide range of people other than wheelchair users.'

It isn't rocket science you're right. Costa, wherever may have unisex accessible loos, whatever. That's all great. However the op is about a parent using what has been identified as a toilet for disabled people purely because she had a child with her. In that instance please tell us you would suggest she use the ladies and queue like everyone else?