AIBU to not work on any projects which include the term "reach out"?

[rightsofwomen]

It makes me gag.
No one reached out, there was a discussion, or we approached them or we asked them a questions.

I work in science. I don't reach out to people, I work with them.

It's mainly one colleague who says it.

Just needed to get that off my chest!

'Reach around' 😂

We've had a complete change of management recently, and they seem extremely fond of this sort of bollocks.
Lots of emails about something called 'sea change', which I actually had to google
Every email I open from them starts with 'i am reaching out to you today'.

Taking this forward used to be popular. So instead of asking me to do some work it was 'Grief, can you take this forward?'

And I used to work with a twat who did that miming punctuation thing in meetings.

WITH YOU ALL THE WAY OP.

I FUCKING HATE THIS PHRASE.

Ok, sorry for shouting!😎

Yanbu. I once sat through an entire presentation where the presenter used the phrase "moving forwards in time" to describe what we would be doing in the future.

YOU DO NOT NEED CONSCIOUSLY TO MOVE FORWARDS IN TIME BECAUSE TIME MOVES FORWARD ANYWAY WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT. SEEING AS YOU ARE NOT A TIMELORD AND ALL.

Mmm better now.

I work for a big corporate and me an an ex colleague and me used to play corporate bingo in meetings

Reach out
Touch base
Ducks in a row
Coal face
Core market

I quite like 'cascade information' because it kind of is accurate... but all these others, dear God I wouldn't be able to not laugh if someone said those out loud!

errol do you have any examples of Britishisms you like to use?

I. Fucking. Hate. This.

Every single time someone says this sick-making, asinine phrase in a meeting I want to chew my own arm off.

"Yeah, so I think we need to reach out to Amanda from HR..."
Aaaaaaargh! What the fuck are you talking about?? Do you mean ring her? Or email her? Or, you know, just walk up one fucking flight of stairs to her office and have a word with her?? Because if so why not just fucking say "talk to Amanda from HR" like a normal fucking person, you massive gaping twat!!!

Sorry about that...thanks for letting me get that off my chest

That expression also drives me bonkers. YANBU

I fucking hate 'reach out'. I think you can use it if you are trying to contact and help someone who is in a time of great difficulty. Someone recently bereaved for example. But that is all. Not for just emailing Maureen in HR to check some details.

What I want to know is what kind of knobber hears a phrase like that and thinks 'I'm going to start using that one right now. Fuck saying that I'm going to email or phone someone, I'm reaching out to that cunt.'

DH has used reach out and take it forward at home (the company he works for use this shit all the time). He's very quickly learning that it's really not worth the piss taking I give him and is at least trying to make sure he leaves the wank speak at the office!

Oh this kind of wanky language is one thing I do not miss about corporate life!!

I also used to play bullshit bingo in meetings. Even more fun when the winner stands up and shouts "BULLSHIT" alas, none of us ever dared to do that

But there's one in there I haven't come across - horizontal scanning - I mean what the fuck is that? If you can't intuit what a term means then it's even more wanky and useless.

So OP what you need to do is make sure all your colleagues are on the same page and singing from the same hymn sheet and boycott all this horseshit!

Lastqueen

I was once sitting next to an Iraqi chap in a meeting where the presenter blathered on about "getting all our ducks in a row so xxx wouldn't think we were trying to referee our own match" and I could just hear this poor bloke murmuring "Ducks....?" under his breath, earnestly.

I interpreted

What is the Myself thing?

Me: I have the tweaked the wording which is hopefully self-explanatory.
US colleague: Thanks for your tweaking.

blueshoes It would something like "Thank you for engaging with myself, I will contact you again soon". It should be "Thank you for engaging with me, I will contact you again soon".

Wonder I don't even work in the corporate world. I'm in academia where frankly they should know better

I don't even understand what "lean in" means - for a long time I thought it was what you did when you were going round a corner on a motorbike but then still couldn't understand what this had to do with management bollox.

It still doesn't make sense to me now

rights, thanks for explaining. 'Engaging with myself' is just plain wrong. I associate that with people like Posh who say 'Myself and David'. argghh.

Not at all corporate speak.

agnesf you are kind of right - if you lean into the corners it makes it easier all to get round - same if the team members all lean in - you get things done faster (ie focus on the job in hand and do your part sharpish)

I actually don't hear the "myself" thing at work too much, it's more if I have the misfortune to have to call, I don't know, an insurance company or Vodafone or other companies where the staff are trained in how to talk to customers.

There was one not so long ago where I nearly had to hang up. I wish I could remember who it was now.

What I want to know is what kind of knobber hears a phrase like that and thinks 'I'm going to start using that one right now. Fuck saying that I'm going to email or phone someone, I'm reaching out to that cunt

Granularity: just going to drop that one here. WTF does that even mean. I had to refer to it in a talk I did the other day, and had to say the word to the audience and say that I hoped they knew what I was talking about, because I had no clue.

I feel I'm being victimised for my refusal to use this kind of bollockspeak.

I am also unpopular as I interrupt and ask the meaning of acronyms or weird phrases I don't recognise.

What is the Myself thing?

"If you have ant questions, please do not hesitate to contact myself"

Oh god yes, granularity, the devil is in the detail and chunking up/down. Wtaf

Moomin- horizonal not horizontal.... i.e. Looking into the distance to see what could affect our market etc.

So, that's what we used to call forecasting. Or just plain old planning.

Ha ha at these
And especially PMSL at not being a time lord, ha ha

Also
"In slower time" i.e. Later
"Row back" i.e. Completely change our minds

"Horizon scanning" i.e. What is happening next?