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Original poster

My dad called my Daughter

46 replies

krib · 15/03/2007 20:48

My gorgeous daughter is 6 and for no reason whatsoever, my Dad calls her "calculating". He has called her this on one occasion before (several months ago) with no explanation, which at the time I ignored. Then at the weekend, at A FAMILY GATHERING , he said the same thing in front of other family members. I couldn't ignore it this time, so I told him he was being unfair. My sister tried to move things on by saying "But that's women for you, haha", then the subject was changed. I was fuming, but didn't take it further as it was a family gathering. Today I saw my Mum and mentioned that I'd been upset by what he said. She said she would say something to him & tell him to ring me. He did - he was quite aggressive and immature, making me out to be ultra-sensitive, saying he didn't mean what he'd said and that he'd meant she is precocious. He apologised (grudgingly), saying of course he loves her (why would a grandfather need to say that - shouldn't that be a given?) but she is precocious. I am still fuming, offended and upset. Am I over-reacting? What would you do?

OP posts:
Original poster
krib · 15/03/2007 20:51

The title should read "My dad called my daughter "calculating" - sorry!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
madmarchhare · 15/03/2007 20:51

Mmm, sometimes people use words and mean something else or the word is interpreted differently.

What had she done?, or was it a remark about her general behaviour?

CODalmighty · 15/03/2007 20:52

god girls are totally calucalting though

VeniVidiVickiQV · 15/03/2007 20:52

You are over-reacting a bit, yes.

Donbean · 15/03/2007 20:53

I know what you mean, but it may be best ignored or left alone now that you have it out in the open with him.

My sisters both say awful things about my boy, so do some friends.
I laugh it off TBH.
I dont think that it is worth getting shirty about.

God, that sounds like i am not sticking up for my boy doesnt it, its not that at all, its just that i dont really care what they think of him and i know that it doesnt matter what i say, i am not going to change thier opinion of him.

Original poster
krib · 15/03/2007 20:54

My daughter is a lot of things but she isn't calculating - she's 6 for God's sake!! He didn't explain himself so I guess he's remarking on her general behaviour.

OP posts:
hatrick · 15/03/2007 20:56

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CODalmighty · 15/03/2007 20:57

girls=cats

boys=dogs
btohe have drawbacks

Donbean · 15/03/2007 20:57

How would you interpret "calculating"?

CODalmighty · 15/03/2007 20:57

i htink he measn you let her get away wiht maipulating you

hana · 15/03/2007 20:59

calculating doens't have to have a negative slant. I would say my 5 year old girl is calculating, she thinks of what she wants and steers the conversation around to that ( cna't think of example duh will think) so she gets her way

hatrick · 15/03/2007 20:59

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fireflyfairy2 · 15/03/2007 20:59

calculating: to determine by reasoning, common sense, or practical experience; estimate; evaluate; gauge.

precocious:
unusually advanced or mature in development, esp. mental development: a precocious child.

  1. prematurely developed, as the mind, faculties, etc.
  2. of or pertaining to premature development.

I can't really see why you could possibly be offended... neither of these words particularily are insulting

powder28 · 15/03/2007 21:02

Dont give it a second thought. Men always say stupid things

LowFatMilkshake · 15/03/2007 21:03

Krib - I get where you are coming from. If anyone but me or DH called my daughter calculating I would want to know exactley what they meant!

I know my DD can be devious to get what she wants, but calculating IMHO is too strong-a-word.

My FIL called my DD hyperactive, because she was a 2 year old at a party with a magic show where the performer wanted her to sit down and she wanted to put the music back on and dance!

VioletBaudelaire · 15/03/2007 21:03

Is she very good at maths?
Perhaps he meant she is a calculator?

Greensleeves · 15/03/2007 21:05

Agree with cod, again

hatrick · 15/03/2007 21:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
krib · 15/03/2007 21:06

Hilarious VB - I'm f...ing upset.

OP posts:
unknownrebelbang · 15/03/2007 21:07

I would prefer calculating to devious.

And I wouldn't take any notice of your father either.

madmarchhare · 15/03/2007 21:08

I think you are over reacting and you should just leave it.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 15/03/2007 21:08

Well, dont be. Other people will always view your child differently to you, because they behave differently around other people.

powder28 · 15/03/2007 21:11

my dad once made a comment about my sisters dd. We were watching eastenders and stacey slater was in a scene with a right attitude and my dad said 'now i see where she gets it from' meaing my sisters dd was a right little madam.
My sisters husband got the right hump about it!

Chloe55 · 15/03/2007 21:12

Actually I don't think you are over-reacting. What a strange thing to say from a Grandad

Chloe55 · 15/03/2007 21:16

However, I do think you over-reacted a bit to VB's comment, she was jesting

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