To think there's some real twa*s out there?

[hickorydickorynurseryrhyme]

The more and more I read mumsnet posts about DH's and DP's I realise how lucky I am and that there are some real b's and sexist pigs out there!

YANBU.
Women are not equally as bad. The stats for violent crime, murder and DV prove it. If women were equally as bad the offender and victim rates would be equal.

I was about to dive in and say "yes and the man who swore and bibbed me on a mini roundabout this morning is the biggest twat of all"

Then I read the thread

*I don't see anything self congratulatory in the post. I see an expression of gratitude. So is no one allowed to be happy now because other people may not be?

I think it's very very important that we have threads that show that normal respectful positive relationships do happen*.

No, I agree. I love threads where people share lovely stories about their DP - I've started them myself when I've needed a bit of hope. But this one just felt stealth boasty and pointless to me. Maybe I was wrong, in which case I apologise to OP. Still not sure the personal attacks were necessary, but hey ho.

For what it's worth, I feel very lucky/ happy. I have my daughter, my health, prospects. Happiness is not only for people in happy relationships.

it's like the MIL threads - most of them are started in despair/shock/anger because of pretty bad behaviour but if we only saw those then we'd think every MIL in the world was a twat. And they're not because I am the best MIL in the world and am polishing my halo and many MIL medals at the moment. (while checking that my DIL's house is properly clean and advising her on feeding her children)

I know what you mean; the one where someone had harassment issues at work, which has led to discovering her partner is cheating on her just..I don't know, introduced a new level of disgust.

Careful OP, it's often the ones that think 'phew glad my DP isn't like that' that end up finding out he has been having an affair with his brother/seeing escorts/has a porn addiction 🙃

Agree with PP who said it's not quite a representative sample of general society on here though as many only post when they need advice. Or to gloat they are so lucky 🙃

It certainly wasn't my intention to be seen as gloating, self congratulating or bully for me. Not at all. It's more me feeling that actually I should moan less about stuff as my DH is decent guy (not perfect by any means) but good to me and some of the threads I've read recently have been quite shocking to hear how some women have been treated that's all.

It certainly wasn't my intention to be seen as gloating, self congratulating or bully for me. Not at all. It's more me feeling that actually I should moan less about stuff as my DH is decent guy (not perfect by any means) but good to me and some of the threads I've read recently have been quite shocking to hear how some women have been treated that's all.

I'm sorry, OP. I had had a rough morning and I didn't mean to belittle or derail your thread. it is really shit how some men treat women. I was reeling from such shit, hence the sarky comment. Sorry again.

No worries. Hope things are better

Thank you hickory, what a dignified response. You seem lovely and I'm glad your DP is too.

• DH

I too feel gratitude that I met one of the good guys!! And isn't that so fucked up?? That I feel GRATEFUL my husband treats me like a real human being??

Sometimes I just hate men. So many of them are hideous human beings and they NEVER get called out on it.

YANBU , I never cease to be amazed by what people will put up with/think is normal. I know that when EA and DV and or young DC is involved it can be incredibly difficult, from personal experience, but sometimes it's just a case of people putting up with nonsense with neither EA or DV.

I was having a similar discussion with my DH, he was concerned that i was reading threads above divorce or people struggling with other issues with their other halves, My response was it just makes me think actually your pretty fab and i should appreciate you more, (even if you do drive me batty being so untidy and snore like a bear) cause it can be very easy to take what you do have for granted!

Whoopdeee dooooo for you. Very poor taste to rub salt in other peoples wounds, though.

So it would seem you're not allowed that swear on MN.

Awwlookatmybabyspider why would
you post that. Do you think everyone here should be unhappy?

So it would seem you're not allowed that swear on MN.

Yes you are.

Well I got deleted because someone reported me for using the word cunt.

I know that this will come under a 'personal attack' but is it worse than the 'bully for you' response because I used a swear-word?

You can say cunt you just can't call others posters one.

YANBU, Hickory.

Or the one above that says that because the op has a happy relationship she is 'rubbing salt in other people's wounds'?

OP. I agree with you. I read the threads about awful DH/DP and feel thankful/grateful that (so far) mine is a good man.

It is all too easy to see all the negativity and think it is normal. Almost like an inverse of the airbrushing of people's lives on Facebook.

We have been having a pretty tough time with others letting us down recently and feeling pretty sorry for ourselves. Sometimes it is good to stop, look at the bigger picture and recognise our relative privilege. That doesn't make it gloating or rubbing salt in wounds. Recognising one's own good fortune does not eliminate empathy for others who are struggling.

Well I got deleted because someone reported me for using the word cunt.

No, I reported you because of your personal attack on another poster. And yes, it was far worse than her "bully for you" comment.

I found your subsequent accusations of "cuntish behaviour" and "empathy bypass" somewhat ironic.