AIBU to start resenting my husband?

[user1495042595]

I don't know whether I'm being a moody cow or whether he's just a lazy arse.

I've lived with him for 6 years now (married last year) and I'm just seriously starting to hate him. He does absolutely NOTHING around the house and if I ask he throws a tantrum like a kid. We've gone round in circles over him helping me out with housework and eventually (maybe once a month) he'll get the hoover out or wash some dishes - but only if I nag. I do everything else, including cooking, cleaning, whatever else. I've tried stopping doing everything but the house just gets unbearable - I've never met someone who can live in such a pit. If I stop doing his washing he'll eventually get round to putting a washload of his stuff in. Eventually.

His excuse is he has a manual job - so he's tired at the end of the day. However, I'm the main breadwinner and work 10+ hour days myself running a successful business. My job is mentally exhausting and the last thing I want to do is cook and clean either.

It's getting to the point where I'm starting to feel hatred towards him, because I'm so stressed out about juggling everything or living in a pit with takeaways and ready meals as I'm too exhausted myself.

So AIBU to start resenting him for being a lazy git? And can I ship him back to his mums to do all his cooking and cleaning for him?!

Can you move out for for a week or so.? See if that gives him a kick up the arse

Leaving a mess or dirt for someone else to pick up after you is massively self entitled and shows a total lack of respect. He will never change.
If you could talk to yourself in 10 years time, what would you say? What would your ideal future you say to you?

More fool you for marrying him OP.

So...why did you marry him? I'm surprised that you've lasted this long. Please, don't bring children into this mix - your resentment would multiply. I wouldn't/couldn't put up with this. It's the lack of respect for your feelings that would be the deal breaker - that he's not willing to make an effort.

There is NO solving this. This is who he is. You thought he'd change. You were wrong. He will fuck up your life even more, fuck up your finances, make it all a misery. Do not have children with him or think any further than to hire a solicitor and petition for divorce. Send him back to his mother's. She made him like this, she can deal with him. Just stop wasting your time.

What's he doing while you are doing all the work? If he's doing nothing I'd change the wifi password and tell him it's not going back on until all the housework is done and it would go twice as fast if he helped!

He doesn't respect you..he thinks women are there to wait on men..otherwise he would do half..I would be filing for divorce I'm afraid.

You'll have to chuck him out to get any improvement. He's clearly worked out that he can throw his tantrum and that's enough to make you carry on doing it all. Just stop. As a pp said, stop all the stuff just for him immediately, like laundry. And seriously think about whether you want to be someone's unpaid domestic servant for the rest of your life.

Just divorce him.

Seriously.

Like most people on this thread I'm wondering why the fuck you even married him in the first place, you went in with your eyes wide open.

No way, I couldn't live like that! He sounds like a liability! It's just so rude and disrespectful and just plain lazy! This sort of behaviour just gets worse too...

Is there anything good going for him?? Has he always been like this?

A cleaner and counselling might be the way forward but I doubt he'll change, sorry OP.

What's he doing while you are doing all the work? If he's doing nothing I'd change the wifi password and tell him it's not going back on until all the housework is done and it would go twice as fast if he helped!

No way. Fuck that for a game of soldiers. He's not OP's son, he's meant to be her husband.

What do you mean by start resenting him?

You should have been resenting him from the first few days you lived together.

You married a dud, divorce him as soon as you can!

If they get a cleaner he won't pull his weight with the kids either, and then what - does she get a nanny? How much money will she have to fork out to pay for work he should be doing?

Much easier to admit you made a mistake and get out.

Your far better off living on your own to be honest as I tell my mum who is nagging me to get married that I would rather be single and happy than marry someone that made me miserable for the rest of my life.

He'll never change and so fuck hiring cleaners and counselling to try to change him. Won't happen. Can't believe you married him, but we all make mistakes.

Bollocks to that . Take about 12 stone of weight from round your neck and bin him . Imagine what you could do with all the years you'd have saved not having to clear up after all his shit .

Sorry but I agree with everyone else. He is never going to change. Personally I would escape asap if you don't have kids together.

His mummy probably did everything for him before he found another mug to put up with his laziness. Sending him back would be like a bloody holiday for him!

LTB.

Christ. Has he got a solid gold knob that ejaculates liquid chocolate?! Because I can't think of a single reason for staying with him other than the aforementioned choc cock 🙄

Has he always been like this op?

He sounds like a useless fucker, tbh. Why did you marry him? What are his redeeming features?

I'd change the wifi password and tell him it's not going back on until all the housework is done

How would this help? He'd just use his 3G instead. I've known of someone who used the 3G from their phone to play World of Warcraft on a PC.

OP it's been 6 years, he isn't going to change. He doesn't care and he doesn't respect you enough to care.

He sounds absolutely awful, op.