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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I don't want my ds to be a page boy

36 replies

Caramelbutthorn · 16/05/2017 21:47

I know I'm going to sound ridiculous but here goes... I hate my brother. He's getting married some point soon. My mum has already said that twat features (my bro) will want my 4 yr old ds to be a page boy. I know my ds will not want to wear the outfit and certainly won't want to go into the church (when it was my grandfather's funeral last year he went into the church before anyone turned up and ran out as he didn't like it and refused to go back in). I don't want to force my ds to wear something he won't want to wear and go into a building he won't like. Aibu to refuse my brother and mothers request to have him as a page boy? Thank you

OP posts:

Bonesy1 · 16/05/2017 21:49

Of course, if your son would be uncomfortable then he shouldn't do it

EC22 · 16/05/2017 21:52

You don't want him to do it the clothes/church stuff sounds like nonsense to me. He'd be going to the church if he wasn't a page boy and I assume be wearing something smart that you say he wouldn't like.

Your excuses sounds spiteful.

Reow · 16/05/2017 21:53

If DS wouldn't enjoy it and you're not keen then of course you can say no.

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 16/05/2017 21:54

If you hate him, does he hate you?
You assume you're being invited?

GeillisTheWitch · 16/05/2017 21:55

The stuff about him not liking the church building is weird and precious but I wouldn't be going to the wedding of someone I hated at all, brother or not.

TheMysteriousJackelope · 16/05/2017 21:55

YANBU. Your DS is just at the age where he is likely to make his opinions very clearly heard during the service too, so just for consideration of the bride I'd politely decline.

I think you and your DS would probably enjoy the story in Just William where William is supposed to be a pageboy (in a white satin suit made out of a petticoat no less). He manages to thwart things by encouraging a young cousin to make a horrible mess with oranges and butter and then 'accidentally' sitting down in it in his suit.

Witchend · 16/05/2017 21:56

I think your dislike of your brother is going to be very clear with those excuses. You haven't even been told what they want him to wear, and surely he'd be going to the church anyway.

CainDinglesLeatherJacket · 16/05/2017 21:58

I assume you also mean that you and your son won't attend since he feels uncomfortable at the church? If you're not going at all, then it's not unreasonable, I'd say. If you still go, you'll look spiteful.

NavyandWhite · 16/05/2017 21:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SilverdaleGlen · 16/05/2017 21:59

Your excuses are crap, he's 4, make him

Having said that don't let him be a part of someone's day that you clearly despise, why would he even ask or are you dishonest about your hatred?

BarbarianMum · 16/05/2017 22:00

Fine but then i take it you won't be taking him to the wedding at all. What with him hating the church and all.

blackcatlover · 16/05/2017 22:01

YANBU why should you hire out your kids as wedding props? Just say DS doesn't want to/doesn't understand.

LagunaBubbles · 16/05/2017 22:03

Look don't go if you "hate" your brother that much. But don't come out with stupid excuses about your 4 year old not liking the church.

ifcatscouldtalk · 16/05/2017 22:04

I'd wait to see if your brother asks first. Your mum may be jumping the gun and assuming that is what he wants. People can get very carried away with other people's weddings (personal experience).

Goldfishjane · 16/05/2017 22:08

Yanbu at all.

buttercup54321 · 16/05/2017 22:09

you sound pathetic. He shouldn't have been running around at a funeral anyway. Teach him some respect. Also why would you even go to the wedding if you hate your brother that much and why would he invite you or want your kid to be part of it, A lot of immature behaviour going on imo.

MuvaWifey77 · 16/05/2017 22:11

Sounds like it's you who doesn't want it. Mention it to your son,ask him, see his reaction, if it's really what you say then you know what to do . Right now you sound petty and unresonable. I am not assuming that's who u are OP, just saying how it sounds to me. Good luck

Misswiggy · 16/05/2017 22:12

You don't have to go to the wedding of the brother you hate, nor force your boy to wear a naff outfit and be all solemn in a stuffy church..

However, the photos from said wedding will provide you and your (if u have one) partner with much mirth and blackmail material (especially with the threat of putting on social media) all through the child's teenage years.

I have several copies of similar material which I use to threaten my ds17 for all manner of things - of course I would never actually go through with it.....(she says whilst awaiting A'level results)...

Dawnedlightly · 16/05/2017 22:14

Tell your mum you really don't want him to be a page boy- I bet she's trying to broker a closer relationship between you and your brother and this is her clumsy way of doing it.
But mainly- chill! He's not engaged and you haven't been asked.
And also that's a feeble excuse re not going into a church! Is your son Damian?

jarhead123 · 16/05/2017 22:15

The clothing excuse is a bit off. Surely you don't want to pander to him and he should learn we sometimes have to do things or wear thinhs we don't like etc

I'd just admit to your mum it's because of the relationship you have with your brother

Starlight2345 · 16/05/2017 22:16

My DS was a page boy at 4. He loved it..He wore suit , tie elastic round the neck..

Does your DS know Dbro?

Iggi999 · 16/05/2017 22:17

I'm not sure if it's the OP or the OP's son who is 4.

Mum2jenny · 16/05/2017 22:17

You don't like your brother- ok, your son doesn't like the venue -ok, so your response is the date isn't suitable as I've got a prior agreement (or if you're truthful, say not a fucking chance as my Ds hates the church and won't wear the outfit).

Good luck with the outcome as I'm guessing it won't be pretty!

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 16/05/2017 22:17

Why doesn't he like going to Church.
With much respect. I'm imagining the scene in the Omen where little Damien sees a church and freeks out

steff13 · 16/05/2017 22:19

Awwlookatmybabyspider, you're not the only one. .

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