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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it unreasonable to fear your newborn baby will die (at every moment of the day). Is it a sign of PND?

63 replies

SanitysSake · 16/05/2017 19:50

As above. I'm losing my sh*t ladies. Little one is 2 weeks old today. I have a recurrent mantra running through my head 'Please don't die, don't die, die, shit, am I saying 'Die'? NO, don't die. God I'm sorry I'm your Mum. Please forgive me. I'm so so sorry. You look blue. Are you breathing? . Oh god, thank you, you're still breathing. Your breathing sounds rattly. Should I wake you up, sit you upright? Burp you again? Please stay with me...I love you. I don't think I'm doing the best, but I really don't want you to die.'

Yep.. losing it. Any gentle advice to a new first time mum gratefully received.

x

OP posts:
RoseGoldProsecco · 16/05/2017 22:04

I felt like this for a bit, Op. they are just so fragile! I set my alarm to check she was still breathing (despite the fact that she would only sleep on me at first anyway).

This made me laugh at the time - the bit when he talks about the baby holding its breath and pretending is hilarious. Hope you enjoy:

metro.co.uk/2015/12/31/new-dads-hilariously-honest-list-of-parenting-tips-takes-the-internet-by-storm-5593758/

Seeeeriously · 16/05/2017 22:29

Definitely see your GP,
OP.

As others have said, there's absolutely Otha wrong with things not being ok for you right now.

The key thing is that you don't have to just suffer through this - there are things that can and will help.

The irrational thoughts really overtook a lot
of my thinking post-birth. I also had some irrational thoughts that sounded like they were playing on a loop in my head. It was awful. I used YouTube clips of guided meditations and meditation type music to help drown it out.

But the right help absolutely stopped me from getting any worse, and helped me get back on track.

There was an episode of Woman's Hour recently about Post Natal anxiety. It was very good.
I'll try and link.

Seeeeriously · 16/05/2017 22:30

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p051vdh1

Original poster
SanitysSake · 16/05/2017 22:30

kiwichan00 - Wow, thank you so much for your very kind words. This is me - entirely. Your comment resonated so much - made me cry with parity.

Thank you to all of you, however,. I need a bit of help. I know that now. I'm just eternally grateful that I am not alone in thinking this.

Thank you for your honesty. I mean that, sincerely. xx

OP posts:
Lasvegas · 16/05/2017 22:32

I did. Tried to get pregnant for years. When I did thought would have miscarriage. When did was born thought it would be cot death. Couldn't believe I could be that lucky. I had not a touch of PND

MuncheysMummy · 16/05/2017 22:34

I had this too with my little one who is 11 months now and I'm thrilled that it's eased dramatically,we tried for him for 3 years, he was a long time coming and very much longed for so almost felt too good to be true? Took me literally months to relax and unclench a little,as long as baby is fed,nappy changed and cuddled and loved you are doing a great job.

MuncheysMummy · 16/05/2017 22:35

Hi was exactly the same as Lasvegas

Shemoon23 · 16/05/2017 22:38

I had severe anxiety but you don't need to put up with it and let it pass like some have advised...there's no trophies or medals for those who have done.
you wouldn't want to look back in the future and think you could of enjoyed That time instead of having been anxious. Trust me, just like everyone else, once you receive help you will think why didn't I ask for help sooner

Seeeeriously · 17/05/2017 17:58

How are things today OP?

StaplesCorner · 17/05/2017 18:03

OP I felt like this in fact mine are now 14 and 16 and sometimes I am compelled to go in their room at night and check they are breathing. Its a form of anxiety, by all means discuss with GP but two weeks postnatal is a pretty fucked up time anyway. Be kind to yourself, and remember many mothers feel exactly like that.

kiwichan00 · 18/05/2017 18:11

Hi sanity, hope you are ok and getting help, even if it's just chatting to someone irl...just wanted to say, saw your comment about hating yourself daily, please try and realise that as you've just had one of the most stressful experiences of your life, pinging babies out isn't exactly a spa treatment and yet everyone expects you to be euphoric...generally we are always much harder on ourselves than anyone else would be, so ask yourself this- if a friend told you how she was feeling, exactly as you do, what would your response be? Chances are you would be kind, empathetic, and offer support- make sure you give yourself the same bit of kindness, it's a steep curve, and when we feel like failures even though you've never done this before, give yourself credit for being in a place where you can cut yourself some slack. Hugs to you missus.

ceceliajames · 18/05/2017 18:17

I had this, and whilst I had people telling me I had PND I didn't go to the DRS. I still worry now about my 16 month old, if she's napping a little longer than usual etc. Not sure if thats normal but you're definitely not alone! I was a wreck until DD turned 6 months.

mightymouse76 · 25/05/2017 13:44

@SanitysSake hope you're ok sanity. Found this thread as was searching for advice, feeling similarly anxious, find it hard to catch my breath sometimes. I'm two weeks in also and full of fear. Did you manage to get help from GP? I hope you're feeling a bit better. x

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