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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Banning birthday cakes at school?

139 replies

wildcoffeeandbeans · 16/05/2017 13:44

I've just read that DS's primary school is no longer letting parents bring in cakes for their child's birthday because of the sugar content. :( This makes me unreasonably sad. I agree sugar is a problem in modern diets, but surely it has its time and place?

OP posts:

BlondeB83 · 16/05/2017 21:49

I'm a teacher, it's not a problem to deal with a cake every now and then.

RueDeDay · 16/05/2017 21:57

I make a school cake for DD's birthday if it's on a school day

It's a small school (approx 30 pupils total) so the one (big!) cake does everyone in the school plus all teachers and assistants. The dinner lady deals with it and they all get a piece with school dinner. Everyone has been very appreciative to my face and I'd never even considered it could be a problem

MyOpe · 16/05/2017 22:00

yeah 30 kids, 30 cakes. a total nightmare for the teacher.

when my children were at school we had party bags every week - full of the cheapest sugary shit you can imagine - all through primary school.

they didn't even need to make the effort of actually having a party!

good for the school. finally one with backbone!

anotherdayanothersquabble · 16/05/2017 22:04

Great to read this!! Why should school police lunch boxes and be challenged with reducing sugar in school dinners then allow cakes and sweets for every child's birthday. (Next up for the chop are the cake sales! !)

PenelopeFlintstone · 16/05/2017 22:15

At our secondary school it's the opposite. My child has to take a cake in for another child's birthday, and someone else has to bring a cake in for her birthday.

Floggingmolly · 17/05/2017 08:28

Same here, Penelope. It's different though. For one thing; it tends to be amongst friendship groups only, and there's no question of involving the teacher in any of it.

PenelopeFlintstone · 17/05/2017 09:50

Our school isn't just among friendship groups though. The teacher tells each student when they have to bring a cake in and also who it's for. They have it first thing during tutor group, before lessons. Not sure I could eat cake that early!

Floggingmolly · 17/05/2017 10:01

Oh! The teacher involvement is downright weird

PenelopeFlintstone · 17/05/2017 10:17

Ha ha! Yeah, it's like a school 'thing'. All the classes do it.

Willow2017 · 17/05/2017 11:21

Wtaf?
I would be telling the teacher to buy cake herself. How nice of her to spend your money for you. Time was I wouldn't have had money for a cake for a class of school kids I didn't even know. How does she know if someone can afford cake for other people or not? That's crazy.

And all this fuss over healthy meals and teachers are dishing out cake at 9am?

Blondebombsite83 · 17/05/2017 11:32

Also think of the hygiene. Would you eat food from the kitchen of all the children in the class? I know I bloody wouldn't!!

bostoncremecrazy · 17/05/2017 11:33

Yanbu.....my first experience of this was this term.
Lovely mum sent in chocolate cake for her birthday child.....my child with food allergies was given a bowl of chopped apples
(If prewarned i could have sent in a cake my dc could eat...no my dc had to sit there with apple watching their peers eating chocolate cake...bitter me? No!)

Rockaby · 17/05/2017 11:46

I'd be pleased. Actually, I'd disapprove if, when my dc starts school, I find out they are eating cake in class, every time someone in the class has a birthday. Seems a really unhealthy idea to me. I love cake and all, but we save sweets etc for weekends / special occasions.

mintyneb · 17/05/2017 11:49

There isn't a ban on cakes as such in my DDs school so it's generally not a problem. However only the other day a classmate had decided to make a cake for their homework (homework was to make a model of the Parthenon) and brought it in. It was covered in chocolate biscuits, wafers etc

DD is allergic to dairy to the point of anaphylaxis where she can't breathe. Teacher obviously knows this and keeps a stack of Haribo sweets in the event that someone brings in a dairy laden treat. That's great and I really appreciate it but a small packet of Haribos doesn't quite equal 2nd and 3rd portions of a cake that the entire class are tucking into. Doesn't really support inclusion....

Floggingmolly · 17/05/2017 11:53

If there's a child with allergies in the class they should absolutely not be allowing this. It's entirely voluntary, teacher should have enough nous to put their bloody foot down and say no.

Minimusiciansmama · 17/05/2017 11:58

My daughters school, in FY they were a single unit of 60 kids with 3 class teachers. That year they were still allowed to bring sweets in for their class for birthdays. 60 bags of haribo was a lot to supply, and put pressure on people to make sure they did it. And it meant them coming home a lot of the time with sweets. It was nice but it has been much better not having to do it. In Nursery they took a cake for their birthday which the staff shared out at lunch time - when they're expecting to be clearing up mess and such.

MadisonAvenue · 17/05/2017 12:02

The primary school my sons went to banned cake and sweets on birthdays when they were there, that's going back around 10 years now. Even after that though there was always one particular mother, who had children in the classes my children were in, who would be seen struggling from her car with a large number of cake boxes containing very elaborately decorated homemade cupcakes every time her children had a birthday.

Paddington68 · 17/05/2017 12:13

Wrap it up and give it out to parents at the school gates, lovely. Teachers are there to educate children.

Willow2017 · 17/05/2017 13:16

Paddington
That doesnt sort the problem of kids with allergies who see all their friends getting cake handed to them and they are left out. Its bloody cruel.
Cake should be for home or parties not school.

Minty & Boston
That is so crap, poor kids.

2rebecca · 17/05/2017 13:42

Agree it sounds like an unnecessary fangle for the staff. It's different having a birthday cake in an office of 10 people when adults can sort out their own cake and clearing up to trying to feed 30 messy kids.
Have a few of them round for a party.

MargotsDevil · 17/05/2017 13:52

When I was at nusery (school nursery that was) over 30 years ago we used to bake a cake as an activity for birthdays (so birthday child plus a friend or two) not that this was a highlight of my time at nursery, oh no... and I wasn't upset that I shared my birthday at all, honest... but it certainly wasn't something that happened at school. That was for home and parties!

Babbaganush · 17/05/2017 13:54

I've not come across this in primary school but some Healthy Schools initiatives include "cake free birthdays". I can see how it could be a real problem having to deal with cutting up and dishing out so many cakes while taking into consideration food allergies etc
My ds attends a special school and sending in birthday cake is standard but there are only about 8 pupils in each class and most of them don't have birthday parties due to their complex needs so celebrating in school is a big deal.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 17/05/2017 13:55

It's not 'an unneccessary fangle for the staff', not me at any rate and as I said upthread it doesn't happen very often.

Cut a cake into 34 small pieces, offer it to the children who are already sat at their tables, give the table a wipe afterwards, send them home.

Job done.

Notso · 17/05/2017 14:46

I'm in two minds about this. On the one hand it's a nice thing for children to celebrate birthdays within the class. I have no problem with sugar, I'll happily tell my children to save treats for later if I think they've had too much or whatever.
On the other hand I have a child with a peanut/nut allergy and a child who is following a gluten free diet. Their school request whatever is sent in is in individual bags or ready wrapped and it gets handed to the children by the birthday child as they go home. This is a pain for me as I can't see the packaging so all cake that comes home was getting binned.
Sweets with ingredients list were better but we had a nasty incident recently with a party bag of sweets sent home, DS asked to eat a sweet I knew was safe so I said yes but he took that to mean he could eat the whole bag, he opened a chocolate and put it to his lips I noticed and stopped him but it was too late, the sweet had peanuts in and his lips and face became swollen. We were lucky he didn't actually eat any of it. So now I've requested no sweets or cake come home with him.
I don't expect everyone to miss out because DC are allergic but I do wish people would think twice about what's being sent in. One parent gives sweets and cakes all the time, in reception she was told to keep it to birthdays but she just started giving them out on the yard instead.

madcatwoman61 · 17/05/2017 15:06

And for those who can't eat sugar? Quite apart from allergies, why are all treats sugary? Too many children will feel left out

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