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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Banning birthday cakes at school?

139 replies

wildcoffeeandbeans · 16/05/2017 13:44

I've just read that DS's primary school is no longer letting parents bring in cakes for their child's birthday because of the sugar content. :( This makes me unreasonably sad. I agree sugar is a problem in modern diets, but surely it has its time and place?

OP posts:

strikhedonia · 16/05/2017 14:18

It is sad, because it's not the solution - most schools really need to look at their school diner, they are horribly unhealthy! Charge the parents a token amount to help out if you must, but healthy food should start there!

Anyway, it is silly, but it will save me from bringing 30 little bags of sweets/chocolate buttons/ individual cakes for my 2 youngest, so I can't get too worked up about it.

Artioo2 · 16/05/2017 14:20

When I was a kid, my school had a polystyrene 'cake' that was brought out for every child's birthday. I can still picture it now, it was just a scruffy white block with some candles stuck in the top. The good old days!

nuttyknitter · 16/05/2017 14:21

Cakes in school are such a hassle - not just the cutting them up but also checking for potential allergies, special diets etc. It can also become horribly competitive with parents who can ill afford it feeling obliged to spend money on cakes.

AnnieOH1 · 16/05/2017 14:21

YANBU IMHO. How very sad. Every place I have ever worked you bring cake in on your birthday. It's not about quantity just about celebrating everyone together. Its part of adult socialisation so why shouldn't it be part of kids socialising too?

Magicpaintbrush · 16/05/2017 14:22

Well done to the school.

My dd comes out of school with hairbo or similar every time there's a birthday in her class - it's not necessary, I never had this when I was at school and didn't feel I'd missed out . Do the maths, that's 30 kids in a class so 30 birthdays a year, over 7 years at primary school, that's 210 packets of sweets altogether just from school birthdays!! And this from a school that sends home leaflets about healthy eating.... - When you think of all the sugary crap kids get given by well meaning relatives and friends, plus baking and cake decorating at Brownies, and in addition at Halloween, Christmas and Easter when there is another deluge of treats and selection packs etc etc it is actually way too much sugar. We don't need schools adding to the sugar mountain as well.

We have diabetes in our family and I would rather my dd didn't have sweets from school, but when all the other kids are getting them what can I do? Have her be the only one who doesn't get any, or be the moany parent who complains and gets other parents backs up? Can't win. Childhood obesity and rotten teeth are real, and schools entering in to this unnecessary sugar fest (whilst at other times beating you about the head with healthy eating info) is just stupid.

And as for cake.... if I was a teacher that is the last thing I'd want to be dealing with in a busy classroom.

CricketRuntAndRashers · 16/05/2017 14:22

We always used to bring cakes to school... (which meant that I had to bake for my little sister, cousin, the neighbour's child etc...)

Anyhow. I'm not sad about this. But I don't see how it could be a solution as far as obesity is concerned...

What about fruit?

NotEvenListening · 16/05/2017 14:23

I've never taken a full cake into school but when dc was at nursery I sent in a tray of cupcakes to be handed to her friends after nursery (10 kids)

MiaowTheCat · 16/05/2017 14:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheMysteriousJackelope · 16/05/2017 14:26

At my DC's school they got around the whole allergy/serving mess/ time aspect by having the parents of the birthday child buy ice creams, lollies, or sorbets from the school lunchroom that were handed out as dessert at lunchtime to the entire class. There were options for those with allergies. The class would then sing happy birthday to the child in the lunchroom.

Of course there is still the sugar aspect, but then our school district's only rule for food is that sugar should not be the primary ingredient on the content list.

SleepFreeZone · 16/05/2017 14:26

It's a great idea and I suppose if you were desperate to distribute it perhaps you could do so after school.

strikhedonia · 16/05/2017 14:26

my school had a polystyrene 'cake' that was brought out for every child's birthday.

I am not even sure why, but that really made me laugh!

AudTheDeepMinded · 16/05/2017 14:28

I recently asked for this practice to be banned at our school. Kids were being given sweets and cake for birthdays just before being let out. So were already shoving it in as you picked them up. In addition Christmas cards were being sent out with sweets taped to them. It was getting ridiculous. With two kids at school one would also have a tantrum about the other getting something they weren't. It was so much hassle and so bad nutritionally. The teachers agreed and loads of parents have since said it's a relief that it's all ended! Also for kids that couldn't have them for any reason (intolerance, allergy, can't eat gelatine etc etc) it was also unfair. YABU

waterrat · 16/05/2017 14:30

Good !!! I feel so pissed off when my 4 year old constantly comes out of school munching cake ...they already have pudding and children get so so so much sugar nowadays.

AudTheDeepMinded · 16/05/2017 14:30

Also the school have suggested that if they really want to celebrate in a material way children can donate a new book to the class library, a fabulous idea for everyone to share.

waterrat · 16/05/2017 14:31

I have thought about asking for it to be banned too as it seems totally wrong that kids cone out of school with bags of Haribo or cake and I am not even given a choice ..they are already eating it !

halcyondays · 16/05/2017 14:32

By the time you've sliced the cake into 30 pieces the portion sizes are pretty small. I imagine there is a higher sugar content in many of the desserts served up in the school canteen.

I expect it can be a nuisance for the teacher re allergies.

MrsJamesMathews · 16/05/2017 14:36

I wish ours would. It's a right ball ache.

Our school will happily take cakes to serve up at snack time. But as they all do it, they all want one. Even my 7yo who's birthday isn't even in term time had a few tears when I said she wasn't taking in cake so I caved in.

So then it's a cake for the class, a cake for the party (which the class are all invited to) then a cake for the actual birthday. It's a bloody nuisance to have to make 3 sets of cake and I think takes the specialness out of it.

Railgunner1 · 16/05/2017 14:36

sugar's not really an issue, but allergies can be horrendous.
Badly worded, but for the peace of mind i guess.

CinderellasBroom · 16/05/2017 14:38

Aud You've reminded me, there's the Christmas cards within sweets / chocolate coins, too. Not to mention the school disco / summer fair / Christmas fair with jars of sweets and chocolate for 25p. There's just no need for birthday cake in school as well - save it for the party.

GingersHaveSouls · 16/05/2017 14:39

Our school lets the kids bring in cake but it has to be the little individual fairy cakes or rice crispie style, that they sell in the supermarkets. It's not about the sugar content with the school, more the allergen. When they're packaged the ingredients are easy to figure out so the kids who have allergies don't have to have em. We always put some little bags of haribo in for the kids who don't want cake. I think it's nice for the kids to have a little treat to celebrate a birthday.

silkpyjamasallday · 16/05/2017 14:39

They banned them at my secondary school after one girl got 8 cakes and a cake fight broke out and the whole classroom was smeared with cake. I didn't know bringing a cake in was the done thing, when I was at school people brought fun size packs of sweeties to give out. It's not the end of the world if it's not allowed anymore, your ds can have a cake at home.

MimsyFluff · 16/05/2017 14:41

I love the idea of birthday cake at school our small school allows this, the TA cuts it up just before the end of school when the children are reading or been read too and the teacher hands it out as they leave the door. Then one of my DC comes out with a slice of cake my other child will want some also and my 3 year old will try melt down! A life lesson that they are not the same person and have different things at different times something they my 3 year old is nearly there now understand.

It's DC birthday soon, she'll be taking a cake in for the first time because she isn't having a party. I'll be sending in a tray cake for them to deal with because if I precut it will start a party bag craze that will get out of hand and my three year old will be going there and by then it'll be party bags with books, dolls, sweets, balloons and maybe a television by the end of her school life.

strikhedonia · 16/05/2017 14:46

On another note, I have never done party bags for any of my kids birthday parties, I don't understand the obsession with them.

DesignedForLife · 16/05/2017 14:46

Sounds good to me. Speaking as a parent of a child with a nut allergy, banning homemade cakes is a good thing.

CoolioAndTheGang · 16/05/2017 14:49

I'm surprised any school allows birthday cakes. How big is the cake/how many does it feed?

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