AIBU to buy myself an "engagement" ring?

[bullywee]

Long time lurker... This is not a stealth boast by the way...

I have recently received a prize/bonus at work (~£3k). I am not engaged (or, in fact, in a relationship) but have always wanted a three stone diamond ring so have decided to treat myself to a sparkler. However, I told a couple of friends/colleagues what I was planning to do with my funds and they frankly told me that I will look ridiculous not only a) going into the shop to by myself such a ring but also b) wearing such a ring (an engagement ring) on my middle finger.

What are your thoughts? Would this be ridiculous?

How would you look ridiculous I'm so confused. I had a summer job in a high end jewellers whilst studying and loads of people used to come in and buy jewellery for themselves. It's supposedly a good investment.

Go for it but need pics once you have bought it so I can feel slightly jealous lol.

Do it and then show us immediately

Do what makes you happy.

It's not an engagement ring though is it, it's a big sparkly diamond ring. Two very different things.

Diamond rings from the jewellers are not a good investment...a bit like buying a new car from the garage they will immediately lose a bit if value. Sourcing the diamonds and having them set is a better bet, but will take longer.

Great idea. Don't listen to your friends. I hope you really enjoy your ring, and the achievement that helped you to buy it.

Your friends are mad! You've worked hard and earned a bonus and you have the right to spend it as you wish. Enjoy looking for your ring and every time you look at it you will have the immense satisfaction that you are wearing it because YOU earned it.

Do it. I bought myself a sparkly diamond and emerald ring a few years ago after a pay rise. I got a few comments from narrow-minded women but wear it on my middle finger often and every time I look at it, I feel great :)

Go for it and well done you on your bonus!

I also came on to say consider buying antique. My engagement ring is an antique old European cut 3 stone diamond ring. I adore looking at it and wondering about who wore it before me during the twenties and war time, whether their marriage was a grand love.

It cost a quarter of what my friends fiancé spent on her engagement ring from a high street jewellers, and doesn't make the statement of a big solitaire, but I think that makes me love it all the more

Spend it on getting a ring made at the jewelry quarter in Birmingham. It can be exact how you want it and cheaper. My engagement ring for example was made their to a design my DH picked for £1600 but has a retail value of £4200. You can pick your own diamonds and design the setting. They can mock up a setting and sit the stones in so you can see how it will sit on your finger too.

I've always been a bit wary of buying diamond rings from any high street jeweller . The prices seem horrific for the sizes of the diamonds.

But do it, it's your hard earned money so but something you really want that you normally may not be able to buy.

You should do it OP. Fuck convention & all that.
If anyone other than yourself has a problem with it, then that's their issue.

Of course YANBU. If you want a diamond ring, buy one!

I agree that there is nothing wrong with you buying a pretty ring that makes you happy and wearing it on a non-engagement finger. I wouldn't consider it an investment. A friend of mine has recently tried to sell her engagement ring because she is getting divorced and is horrified at how little she would get for it compared to how much they paid for it.

Wear it on the same finger on the other hand.
It may not look as great on the middle finger, just because middle fingers are usually bigger than ring finger.
Well done on bonus. X

Go for it!

All the stuff about what rings mean on which fingers is v annoying I find. The designated "wedding ring" finger is the most convenient to wear big rings - I have a beautiful very old ring (part of what I inherited) which is very impractical to wear on any finger but my left hand "ring" finger. I do, and if people are bothered by it, that's their problem. Other countries (eg most of the rest of Europe) use the right had for a wedding ring, so it's not as if there's a law about it.

Your friends are mad. Do they think that bling can only ever be an engagement ring? And that women have to wait for a man to see fit before we can have nice stuff?

What you are describing is a cocktail ring. Or just a ring.

I wouldn't get a three stone engagement style ring though, because they're not massively interesting and you can get way more bling for your 3k in a different way.

I have a WHOPPING great Edwardian aquamarine cocktail ring that I wear on my right hand. It's beautiful AND it was half your budget. Go into some antique jewellers in your city and see what they have for 3k, because you will absolutely clean up. Don't go to Goldsmith's etc. because you will get far less diamond (or whatever) for your money.

Your friends are weird. It's not like you're planning to buy a wedding dress for the office. You're buying a piece of jewellery, ffs.

What icanteven says. Antique jewellery is the way to go. Usually much better made, and you can imagine a wonderful history.

Do it! I did - practically same circumstances. Bonus from work so bought myself a platinum diamond solitaire. I'm now married and don't wear it but it gave me much pleasure while I did. I might sell it in time.

My only concern would be that engagement rings don't seem to hold their value?

Hope I'm wrong.

Do what your heart desires!

I have a gorgeous 3 stone diamond ring that my MIL gave me from DH's great aunt - lucky me! I've had it valued and its worth twice what my engagement ring cost. I wear my engagement, wedding ring and eternity ring on my left hand ring finger and the 3 stone on the ring finger on my right hand. My wedding engagement and eternity rings have so much sentimental value and I love them but I enjoy wearing my big sparkler on the other hand. Buy the ring just wear it on the right hand.

Ooh I feel very invested now in what you're going to get. What style do you like? Would you consider vintage?

I constantly fantasise about having a ring from Berganza, in Hatton Garden. They're a specialist vintage jewellers. Like this www.berganza.com/ref-22933-Vintage-diamond-three-stone-carved-ring-English-circa-1950.html?search_category_id[]=1&search_category_id[]=24&search_category_id[]=33&search_category_id[]=36&search_category_id[]=35&search_category_id[]=38&search_category_id[]=32&search_category_id[]=37&search_category_id[]=39&search_stonetype_id[]=1&search_pricerange_id[]=1&search_pricerange_id[]=2&search_pricerange_id[]=3&page_num=1&page_size=18

Or there's a small dealer in Dorset called Carol Franks, who has lovely stuff, like this. carolefranks.com/view.php?prod_id=2661

(Sorry for the ugly links).

Also, think about auction houses, which are surprisingly affordable, like this one from Bonhams.

www.bonhams.com/auctions/24084/lot/64/

And tell your friends that the right hand ring is a 'thing' (albeit a marketing thing) if you feel the need to tell them anything.
mobile.nytimes.com/2004/01/04/magazine/the-way-we-live-now-1-4-04-consumed-the-right-hand-diamond-ring.html