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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to buy myself an "engagement" ring?

72 replies

bullywee · 15/05/2017 20:12

Long time lurker... This is not a stealth boast by the way...

I have recently received a prize/bonus at work (~£3k). I am not engaged (or, in fact, in a relationship) but have always wanted a three stone diamond ring so have decided to treat myself to a sparkler. However, I told a couple of friends/colleagues what I was planning to do with my funds and they frankly told me that I will look ridiculous not only a) going into the shop to by myself such a ring but also b) wearing such a ring (an engagement ring) on my middle finger.

What are your thoughts? Would this be ridiculous?

OP posts:
Wishimaywishimight · 15/05/2017 20:24

It's only an "engagement ring" if you're engaged, otherwise it's just a diamond ring. Go ahead OP, you've earned it - enjoy!

HerBluebiro · 15/05/2017 20:25

You want a ring? You get a ring. Wear it on your right hand

Congrats

Original poster
bullywee · 15/05/2017 20:27

Thanks ladies! I am off to Jersey next month and I hear that the jewellery over there is slightly better value (no VAT?) so looking forward to some ring shopping. Will definitely post a picture when I have my pride and joy!

OP posts:
Pastaagain78 · 15/05/2017 20:27

They are jealous. Go for it.

VanillaSugar · 15/05/2017 20:28

Your life, your rules. Do it and enjoy it! I came on here to give a warning that two people I know bought their own engagement rings to force the hands of their boyfriends - who quickly dumped them.

But if it's your money and your present to yourself DO IT and love it! 💍

ScarlettFreestone · 15/05/2017 20:29

What nonsense your colleagues are talking!

"Look ridiculous" An adult woman, with sufficient funds walking into a jewelsis not in the least ridiculous or in fact the least remarkable.

The jeweller won't even bat an eyelid.

Enjoy your ring.

offblackeggshell · 15/05/2017 20:30

A fabulous idea! Enjoy it.

CrowyMcCrowFace · 15/05/2017 20:33

It's not at all an engagement ring, even if it's a style associated with that.

My favourite jewellery is definitely the things I've bought for myself.

Things dh1 (deceased) bought me generally aren't my style anymore; I tend not to wear jewellery h2 (I'm divorcing the bugger) bought me. Currently boxed pending decision whether to ebay or pass on to dds.

I wear my favourite ring every day. Admittedly it's a cheap silver & garnet thing I bought for a fiver, but it reminds me of a particular holiday with people I love enormously & makes me smile.

Not that into jewellery these days as I own FAR too much - magpie tendencies from early teens - but yes, totally wear jewellery you chose yourself & love.

Bobby dazzler diamond sounds cool, do it.

InvisibleKittenAttack · 15/05/2017 20:34

one word of causion, if you are single and hoping at some point in the future to meet someone and get engaged, be careful if you are buying your 'dream engagement ring' for yourself now, and then having to have something you don't like as much should you get engaged in a few years time...

I'd be more tempted with looking at antique rings in a less 'engagement' style. You'll get more bling for your money and can get something more dressy.

nemno · 15/05/2017 20:34

I know that diamond rings lose most of their value the minute you own it so is it possible to buy second hand?

honeylulu · 15/05/2017 20:36

I think it's a fabulous idea - something you will enjoy every day!

Blackadderspants · 15/05/2017 20:37

Not ridiculous at all! Go for it, I used to wear my Great Aunt's beautiful ruby ring on the middle finger of my right hand and it was an engagement ring.

Well done on the bonus! Flowers

nannybeach · 15/05/2017 20:42

Your money your finger, spend it on whatever you like! Would your friends think your were weird if you bought earings?

phoenixtherabbit · 15/05/2017 20:42

Not weird! Do it, treat yourself.

I would do it if I came into 3k most definitely!

It's not like you're pretending to be engaged which is what your friends seem to think, you're just buying yourself a nice piece of jewellery. No different than buying yourself earrings or a necklace in my opinion!

elfonshelf · 15/05/2017 20:44

I bought myself a 3 stone diamond ring which I wear on the middle finger of my right hand. I'd come out of a horrendous legal battle and got slightly more than I'd hoped for in the settlement so I spent the extra on bling. Smile

I am a part-time gemmologist, and I would advise buying antique stones - new diamonds lose 70% of their value as soon as you walk them out of the shop (they are never an investment unless you are buying HUGE stones or can buy at real trade prices - v v unlikely unless you are legitimately in the trade and have the right contacts).

Antique stones can offer a lot more for your money. Look for ones with lots of fire and make sure you check them away from the amazing lights that jewellers have - they are v unlikely to come with grading reports, so don't worry about that. If you like yellow gold, you can also go with lower colour grades. Mine are a J colour, eye-clean SI1 - they look really white and are mind-blowing in terms of fire and sparkle which is all I care about in a diamond.

Good luck on the hunt and enjoy!

PyongyangKipperbang · 15/05/2017 20:44

You are only BU to buy from a jewellers.

Your 3k will get you almost twice as much ring if you buy the diamonds and then get them set. Their are a lot of reputable places you can go to where you money will go a lot further. If you are anywhere near Birmingham then the Jewellery Quarter is the best place to start looking.

Google the mark up on mass produced diamond jewellery, its absolutely outrageous.

OCSockOrphanage · 15/05/2017 20:44

You should view it as A) a present to yourself and B) an investment. Choose the design you love, that suits your hand, and if you see anything antique or previously loved, you will probably get a better investment in stone size and quality.

PyongyangKipperbang · 15/05/2017 20:44

Their?! There.

Beebeeeight · 15/05/2017 20:46

There's nothing wrong with buying yourself jewellery

Gooseygoosey12345 · 15/05/2017 20:46

Whaaat? Buy whichever ring you want and wear it on whichever finger you want! Why anyone would be invested enough in your jewellery choices to judge is beyond me. Treat yourself Grin I bloody would!

MustBeThursday · 15/05/2017 20:46

I had a 3 diamond ring given to me on my 21st, that I wear on my right middle finger, and a diamond solitaire that was my great grandmothers. Diamond rings don't have to be engagement rings! In fact, my engagement ring is not a diamond one.

Sunshinesuperman · 15/05/2017 20:50

I would consider antique as it is often better value. I really like nice jewellery and it can be a good investment. Life is too short to wait for other people to give you what you can earn yourself.

sadsquid · 15/05/2017 20:55

Not ridiculous at all! What a weird idea, that you only deserve serious jewellery if you've been given it by a bloke. Like diamonds are reserved as some kind of reward for being marriage-worthy. Confused It's not an engagement ring, it's just an awesome ring that you are able to buy yourself. I hope you find one you completely love.

Original poster
bullywee · 15/05/2017 21:04

Thanks again ladies. I quite like the idea of buying some diamonds and getting a ring made up - totally never thought of that!

I didn't think i was being stupid!

OP posts:
MrsDustyBusty · 15/05/2017 21:07

There's a website called I did now I don't where you might pick a good deal.