Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to 'hide' food in my toddlers food

57 replies

Absofrigginlootly · 15/05/2017 16:40

My DD is cows milk protein allergic. Her protein intake is rubbish.... she will happily eat fruit and carbs and some veg. I've worked on her and she will eat eggs and occasionally fish. But she refuses to touch meat or pulses or milk alternatives as a drink (I still BF but plan to stop soon).

In her morning porridge I try to increase the protein by mixing in flaxseed meal and chia seeds and do things like cut up cooked chicken into teeny tiny peices and hide it in curried rice.

DH remarked the other day that this didn't sit right with him and seems a bit devious.

I know what he means and obviously I'd rather she chose to eat these things for herself - and I will keep offering them to her as Whole Foods -

But I thought this was a fairly standard approach to picky toddler eating??

Or am I being underhand and untrustworthy??

The reason I'm genuinely asking is because I grew up with parents with food and control issues (which among other issues led me to an eating disorder when I was young). Im really keen to present food in a positive way to DD by keeping things relaxed around food.

So I thought 'hiding' a bit of protein etc to boost the nutritional content whilst modeling healthy eating in front of her was the right approach but now I'm questioning myself???

OP posts:
Keepthebloodynoisedown · 15/05/2017 18:56

I know my mum used to sprinkle seeds in pretty much everything I ate, and my sister was a nightmare with veg, neither of us have been scarred for life by it.

Ringaroundthemosey · 15/05/2017 19:01

Your printer called you 'devious' for doing the exact thing you're supposed to. That is shit behaviour. You can't really ask people for their opinion on his shit behaviour and be surprised when they give it.

Ringaroundthemosey · 15/05/2017 19:02

Your dh, not your printer Hmm

Madwoman5 · 15/05/2017 19:04

Did it for years. Teenage son still doesn't know what is in the gravy in the cottage pie!

Playdoughinthecarpet · 15/05/2017 19:07

I spent all morning batch-cooking-veg-hiding for awkward fussy toddler. Didn't feel devious, felt very responsible Halo

User06383 · 15/05/2017 19:17

It's not 'hiding' food, I don't give my toddler a full run down of the ingredients before I feed him, I just feed him (on the whole) that's nutritionally good for him.

He also wasn't keen on meat when he was tiny but is much better now (he's 2) but at just over a year he was almost totally vegetarian (not by my choice).

Original poster
Absofrigginlootly · 15/05/2017 19:26

I asked if people thought I was being unreasonable to 'hide' food in my DDs food.... I didn't ask them to insult my husband.

There's no need to swear or call him names is there?

OP posts:
waterrat · 15/05/2017 19:29

How can it be devious ? Do children need to be read the ingredients in their dinner as though they are in a 5 star restaurant ?

It's normal yo make a recipe as healthy as you can in a way a child will eat it.

Ethylred · 15/05/2017 19:38

Try being Devious Wife for a bit instead of Dear Wife. I have almost never done so myself of course.

acquiescence · 15/05/2017 19:46

Whaaat? Yabu for asking this when the answer is so obvious. Presumably your LO is a baby/toddler? No one is completely honest about all things with a child that age. Of course it's ok!

acquiescence · 15/05/2017 19:48

And calling you 'devious' is unkind from your husband. You are being a responsible parent by ensuring your child is adequately nourished.

Anditstartsagain · 15/05/2017 19:54

It's a parenting milestone hiding food in food. I would say until 12/13 you are fully responsible for their diet and health you do what you need to in order to keep your child healthy.

GloriaGilbert · 15/05/2017 19:57

Good god. Your husband is being really silly. I'd have been delighted if someone snuck chia into my children's food when they were toddlers.

NellieFiveBellies · 15/05/2017 19:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Absofrigginlootly · 15/05/2017 20:05

The answer isn't always obvious to me when it comes to food, due to my past issues as I said in my OP. Occasionally I find it useful to ask for opinions on what is 'normal' because (like so many things with my childhood) I'm never entirely sure what normal is.

My DH did not call me devious directly he said "I dunno, it's doesn't quite sit right with me, it seems a bit devious or something"

I can see his point to an extent because I have some unpleasant memories as a child about food being hidden. But I guess some of it was meshed up with a general and total lack of respect for boundaries etc. I don't want to lie to my DD or deceive her, but I want her to be healthy! She's 2.5 btw

OP posts:
NellieFiveBellies · 15/05/2017 20:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MakChoon · 15/05/2017 20:15

Clearly I'm in the minority here but I don't think I've ever hidden stuff in my DC's food.

I'd rather they can understand what's on their plate and why (nutrients, ethics, taste etc) and chose what to eat for themselves.

It's how I was raised too and it seemed to work out pretty well so I guess I've just copied what my father did with me. ☺

Tortycat · 15/05/2017 20:15

Also find it tricky to get protein into my toddler ds. I blend silken tofu into things eg smoothies/ make smoothies into lollies, fritters, pancake batter etc. Nuts also eg peanut butter, satay style dip, adding ground almonds into things.

I dont see it as devious - just alternative presentation Grin

travellinglighter · 15/05/2017 20:18

So total honesty with the toddler? Sounds great, have you broached the santa claus question yet??

For the record, my 13 year old hates, tomato, carrot, onion and celery but wolfs down my home spag bol which may or may not contain tomato, carrot, onion and celery. Don’t ask, don’t tell is my motto.

lorelairoryemily · 15/05/2017 20:29

www.babyledfeeding.com/ loads of recipes here with options for dairy free. I get your Dh's point but honestly I think it's necessary for a while for most children

doodlejump1980 · 15/05/2017 20:33

Everything in our house is "chicken". So fish is white chicken, mince is red chicken, peppers are yellow and green chicken and they wolf it down! And bizarrely they won't eat eggs, but stir them into baked beans and again, wolfed down! Weird!

Squishedstrawberry4 · 15/05/2017 20:40

I think it's normal to put flaxseed in porridge (or other ingredients in meals) . You could always tell her the hidden ingredient in passing mid meal so that she's aware but eating. My kids know what's in their meals. We have a eat it or leave it attitude (no alternatives) but we just chat about lots of nice things at the table. Meal times are social.

Graphista · 15/05/2017 20:45

Totally normal. There's even been a recent ad for Tesco I think it was styled 'nans Magic soup'? And as she's making it putting the ingredients in she's going 'oh no he won't eat peppers/onions/whatever' as she does a wee smile to camera. Ie he loves it but is saying he doesn't like it.

I did it not only with dd but with my charges when I was a nanny (with parents agreement).

Fwiw checking out vegan toddler recipes might give you some more ideas? Plus some veg high in protein if he prefers veg, avocado as well as the usual legumes n lentils.

mummabearfoyrbabybears · 15/05/2017 20:58

Isn't that just normal parenting. It's not tricking. It's innovative. Like me when I eat a chocolate digestive upside down and give the kids plain ones. It's not 'tricking'. It's saving their teeth. Good mum award winner here Wine

Ohyesiam · 15/05/2017 21:14

But she need protein more than she needs you to be transparent.