AIBU to 'hide' food in my toddlers food

[Absofrigginlootly]

My DD is cows milk protein allergic. Her protein intake is rubbish.... she will happily eat fruit and carbs and some veg. I've worked on her and she will eat eggs and occasionally fish. But she refuses to touch meat or pulses or milk alternatives as a drink (I still BF but plan to stop soon).

In her morning porridge I try to increase the protein by mixing in flaxseed meal and chia seeds and do things like cut up cooked chicken into teeny tiny peices and hide it in curried rice.

DH remarked the other day that this didn't sit right with him and seems a bit devious.

I know what he means and obviously I'd rather she chose to eat these things for herself - and I will keep offering them to her as Whole Foods -

But I thought this was a fairly standard approach to picky toddler eating??

Or am I being underhand and untrustworthy??

The reason I'm genuinely asking is because I grew up with parents with food and control issues (which among other issues led me to an eating disorder when I was young). Im really keen to present food in a positive way to DD by keeping things relaxed around food.

So I thought 'hiding' a bit of protein etc to boost the nutritional content whilst modeling healthy eating in front of her was the right approach but now I'm questioning myself???

[SparklyUnicornPoo]

I don't know that it is devious really, not if you aren't serving it up going 'there's definitely no chicken in it'. I mean its not like most people list the ingredients of everything they dish up is it? I used to sneak veg into my DC's food all the time, never told them I wasn't, just didn't point the veg out. DH didn't realise for years that my special recipe lasagne that he loves so much is 50% veg he supposedly hates - I'd assumed he knew and just wasn't telling the DC.

Nana's magic soup is delicious by the way

[SomewhatIdiosyncratic]

I make a lovely creamy pasta sauce. DS (6) loves it. He asked me what was in it. I called it "Everything you hate sauce" as it was all the veg he hated all blitzed up so that the texture of things like mushrooms, onions and peppers were rendered inoffensive

It is important to try foods in their natural state, but if a child won't put them in their mouth, the nutritional benefit is negligible anyway. What can work as a compromise is blending half of it, and mixing half with the textures.

[2rebecca]

Correction, you don't let them eat what THEY want

[2rebecca]

You don't just let young kids eat what you want you feed them a balanced diet. I hate adults who think treating kids like small adults is sensible when they lack the reasoning powers knowledge and ability to understand long term consequences that (most) adults develop. Parents have to be willing to parent

[Absofrigginlootly]

tazer sorry I've read that sentence 3 times and I still don't understand what you're trying to say (dyslexic)

[Tazerface]

I would argue there's every reason to point out to you that it's a shitty thing to call you 'devious' when you don't seem to recognise it yourself.

[crazykitten20]

And what is his helpful and constructive suggestion to help sort the problem without deviousness!? Didn't think so 😊

[Ohyesiam]

But she need protein more than she needs you to be transparent.

[mummabearfoyrbabybears]

Isn't that just normal parenting. It's not tricking. It's innovative. Like me when I eat a chocolate digestive upside down and give the kids plain ones. It's not 'tricking'. It's saving their teeth. Good mum award winner here

[Graphista]

Totally normal. There's even been a recent ad for Tesco I think it was styled 'nans Magic soup'? And as she's making it putting the ingredients in she's going 'oh no he won't eat peppers/onions/whatever' as she does a wee smile to camera. Ie he loves it but is saying he doesn't like it.

I did it not only with dd but with my charges when I was a nanny (with parents agreement).

Fwiw checking out vegan toddler recipes might give you some more ideas? Plus some veg high in protein if he prefers veg, avocado as well as the usual legumes n lentils.

[Squishedstrawberry4]

I think it's normal to put flaxseed in porridge (or other ingredients in meals) . You could always tell her the hidden ingredient in passing mid meal so that she's aware but eating. My kids know what's in their meals. We have a eat it or leave it attitude (no alternatives) but we just chat about lots of nice things at the table. Meal times are social.

[doodlejump1980]

Everything in our house is "chicken". So fish is white chicken, mince is red chicken, peppers are yellow and green chicken and they wolf it down! And bizarrely they won't eat eggs, but stir them into baked beans and again, wolfed down! Weird!

[lorelairoryemily]

www.babyledfeeding.com/ loads of recipes here with options for dairy free. I get your Dh's point but honestly I think it's necessary for a while for most children

[travellinglighter]

So total honesty with the toddler? Sounds great, have you broached the santa claus question yet??

For the record, my 13 year old hates, tomato, carrot, onion and celery but wolfs down my home spag bol which may or may not contain tomato, carrot, onion and celery. Don’t ask, don’t tell is my motto.

[Tortycat]

Also find it tricky to get protein into my toddler ds. I blend silken tofu into things eg smoothies/ make smoothies into lollies, fritters, pancake batter etc. Nuts also eg peanut butter, satay style dip, adding ground almonds into things.

I dont see it as devious - just alternative presentation

[MakChoon]

Clearly I'm in the minority here but I don't think I've ever hidden stuff in my DC's food.

I'd rather they can understand what's on their plate and why (nutrients, ethics, taste etc) and chose what to eat for themselves.

It's how I was raised too and it seemed to work out pretty well so I guess I've just copied what my father did with me. ☺

[Absofrigginlootly]

The answer isn't always obvious to me when it comes to food, due to my past issues as I said in my OP. Occasionally I find it useful to ask for opinions on what is 'normal' because (like so many things with my childhood) I'm never entirely sure what normal is.

My DH did not call me devious directly he said "I dunno, it's doesn't quite sit right with me, it seems a bit devious or something"

I can see his point to an extent because I have some unpleasant memories as a child about food being hidden. But I guess some of it was meshed up with a general and total lack of respect for boundaries etc. I don't want to lie to my DD or deceive her, but I want her to be healthy! She's 2.5 btw

[GloriaGilbert]

Good god. Your husband is being really silly. I'd have been delighted if someone snuck chia into my children's food when they were toddlers.

[Anditstartsagain]

It's a parenting milestone hiding food in food. I would say until 12/13 you are fully responsible for their diet and health you do what you need to in order to keep your child healthy.

[acquiescence]

And calling you 'devious' is unkind from your husband. You are being a responsible parent by ensuring your child is adequately nourished.

[acquiescence]

Whaaat? Yabu for asking this when the answer is so obvious. Presumably your LO is a baby/toddler? No one is completely honest about all things with a child that age. Of course it's ok!

[Ethylred]

Try being Devious Wife for a bit instead of Dear Wife. I have almost never done so myself of course.

[waterrat]

How can it be devious ? Do children need to be read the ingredients in their dinner as though they are in a 5 star restaurant ?

It's normal yo make a recipe as healthy as you can in a way a child will eat it.