In one of my group of friends, there's one woman called C. I used to be friends with her but she became judgmental, overly critical and can be quite controlling so i backed off. She's one of those people who think anyone who does things differently to her is wrong.
I have another friend called A in the same group. She's a really good friend. She also backed away from C due to her being critical but is now friends with her again. This is fine.
We all go out for drinks plus a few others. If C is in a good mood I have a nice evening.
She usually gets in one sarcastic comment e.g. i didn't have the right change for the whip so telling me i've only just arrived and i'm already being annoying and then laughing at me. I do get annoyed, and try to avoid her if she starts like this.
Her DH and my DH have also become friends over last few years but they go out separately. They met through us.
A while ago, we were out. As soon as she came in she was being sarcastic towards me. I have child who's been in and out of hospital, having invasive tests, and has been diagnosed with ulcers in gastro tract. She also has child with allergies but is diet controlled and never had tests. I brought up the subject and she rolled her eyes about and said sarcastically and loudly "oh right! we're going to start talking about THAT again!" I was pretty taken aback and hurt. Yes i do talk about it a lot but it's such a huge thing in my life that it's all i think about and was just looking for some support.
Later on i (stupidly) mentioned that DC was now on gluten free diet and she condescendingly said "i bet you wished you 'd put him on a gluten free diet when i told you to!!" I got pretty pissed off and told her that she's not a medical professional and that I only follow the advice of my childs medical team.
She then continued with her sarcasm throughout the evening, including having a dig about a couple and specifying their race and nodding toward me (same race me).
Also criticised my use of facebook and asked why i anyone needed to know what i'd put on facebook. I've now stopped putting anything on there.
She indicated that she was not happy that her DH was going out with my DH the week after (i'd bought tickets for something for DH's birthday) so according to her DH she decided to plan something on the same day (at the last minute) so he would have come back early to look after kids. Her DH told my DH she does this kind of thing all the time as it seems she doesn't like him going out.
I suspect the whole reason for her evening of vitriol was because she was not happy that i had organised a day out for her DH/my DH as a birthday present, despite me getting her permission months on advance. The only reason i asked her DH is because she had bought tickets for her DH for his birthday previously, and he took my DH to it. So i was trying to be fair and return a trip out.
I've not wanted to go out with this group again because of C. So i've avoided it, but friend A, who admits she was out of order but think's i'm overreacting, just wont let it go and wants me to go out with the group. So after alot of pestering, I went out with them, but i decided to speak as little as possible to avoid C sarcasm. C still managed to get very small dig in even though i said very little. It was very obvious that i didn't want to be there.
I really think it's time for me to say to A that i'm not going out with them ? I just think sometimes that you have to accept that you dont get on with someone. AIBU ? I can still see A on her own.