Wow, well done!!
Can I suggest something my counsellor is very very big on? You've called yourself some horrible names on here and I'm sure they are simply not true, but talking to and about yourself that way isn't good for motivation. I do it too, but I'm working on it and starting to feel so much better about myself now I do it less. Counsellor told me the old classic "would you call your best friend that?" and no of course you wouldn't. And you'd be really hurt if your bf said that to you. So why are you saying it to yourself?
Anyway, it's a hard habit to break but negative self-talk is really confidence sapping. You're amazing so tell yourself that!