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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I cant find flouncers corner so here will do

40 replies

Crankycunt · 14/05/2017 20:54

I already know the responses i am going to get.

But I had a very interesting email conversation about the freedom of speech in AIBU.

In their own words mumsnet want to:

"We know that AIBU has, over the years, developed a reputation for being something of a bear pit, but that's really not what was intended.

The topic is intended for posters to seek genuine, third-party insight into their dilemmas, or to crowd-check their own responses. We are finding that more and more people are actually being put off of posting due to the more aggressive responses in this topic.

We really would prefer AIBU to be seen and used in exactly the same way as the rest of Mumsnet - a place for interesting, constructive, thoughtful or funny debate".

See I take that to mean that you can no longer voice your opinion about what has been posted, if someone is being unreasonable you have to be nice and funny.

Are we no longer allowed to have a robust debate, no more straight talking.

Mumsnet is edging more and more into netmums territory. Its sad and you have lost a member. This site is now full of huns who cant bare to be told that they're wrong. There seems to be more sheltered people who cant believe that anyone swears.

Anyway, So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night.

OP posts:
Jazzywazzydodah · 14/05/2017 21:01

No it not.

There is a difference of

'I don't agree, YABU '

To

'YABU and I feel sorry for your kids you can't spell and your grammar is shite you troll'

But if you want to leave ........

EmpressOfTheSpartacusOceans · 14/05/2017 21:04

Justine's said in the past that while it's not ok to call someone an arse, its fine to say "Your post makes you sound like an arse because..."

So robust debate should still be fine I'd have thought, just without personal attacks.

MadMags · 14/05/2017 21:08

I don't think they mean "you have to be nice and funny". I think they mean "don't be unnecessarily cunty".

LineysRun · 14/05/2017 21:08

AIBU isn't Netmums at all. It has become a horrible, unsupportable, attack-focused place at times and anyone contributing to that downward spiral should be, in my view, critiqued.

And that doesn't make critique of some posters' peculiar vileness some kind of snowflake convention.

ghostyslovesheets · 14/05/2017 21:14

bit daft OP really - no one is telling you not to post - just not to be an aggressive dick

Beerwench · 14/05/2017 21:15

There's a difference between having a debate, being straight and honest and being plain nasty. Or disagreeing with someone and saying so reasonably to resorting to sarcasm and name calling.

ghostyslovesheets · 14/05/2017 21:15

It has become a horrible, unsupportable, attack-focused place at times and anyone contributing to that downward spiral should be, in my view, critiqued

I agree it bloody should be critiqued and challenged but I disagree that the whole of AIBU is like that - it is still funny, informative and often supportive - but you get a fair few people who don't want that - they just want their own online JK Show

Bluntness100 · 14/05/2017 21:16

See I take that to mean that you can no longer voice your opinion about what has been posted, if someone is being unreasonable you have to be nice and funny

Why do you take it to mean that ? That's a bizzare leap. If that's what they meant they would Have said so.

Why were you having an email conversation with mumsnet about it? Have you had issues due to being perceived as being overly aggressive when posting?

bibbitybobbityyhat · 14/05/2017 21:16

Bye bye!

Hopefully this will make HQ think again about Aibu.

You seem to be saying that there should be an entire Topic on Mumsnet where you can be an arse just because you feel like it. Is that right?

TheMysteriousJackelope · 14/05/2017 21:18

Mumsnet appear to want AIBU to be a place of constructive, thoughtful debate as opposed to people being as rude as they can to complete strangers on the internet, over pretty much nothing at all.

That sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

NoOneLikesACrispyTowel · 14/05/2017 21:20

Oh it's FULL of people who totally miss the point of threads, rip the OP apart about something small and totally irrelevant in the original post in order to goad rather than actually something constructive and helpful to say.
And it's getting worse. People seem to like that and think they should do the same. They are unhelpful wankers.

However, it's also full (ok it can't be full of both but I like to exaggerate) of absolutely brilliant, funny, insightful people who are experienced and supportive and good in a debate. Thankfully this just about outweighs the Unhelpful Wankers. For now....

P.S did Justine really say 'off of'?

BoredandConfused · 14/05/2017 21:21

I think you can be robust without being a twat.
There are a lot of twatty responses on AIBU at times which does prevent some from posting.

I read one thread the other day when an OP was mocked and called a troll because ultimately, she had poorly punctuated her OP. She was told she couldn't possibly be a professional given her command of the English language was so poor Hmm. Every time she posted the same few posters took the opportunity to undermine her further and get twattier. She handled herself perfectly well, probably because she had been around for years, but for me, the treatment of her at the hands of some was no better than playground bullying.

Fl0ellafunbags · 14/05/2017 21:22

If anything AIBU has become increasingly caustic. Recently I have felt that MN has become far less constructive and far more hostile. If you're on the receiving end of a warning you must have posted some seriously offensive drivel because MNHQ are fairly tolerant of shithouse attitudes.

DioneTheDiabolist · 14/05/2017 21:25

Yes OP, MNHQ no longer allows robust debate or straight talking in AIBU.Hmm Sorry you got the wrong end of the stick. Bye. Take care.

MajesticWhine · 14/05/2017 21:25

Bye then

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 14/05/2017 21:25

Sometimes AIBU reminds me of the Monty Python Argument sketch. The first page might be ok but if you go away and come back a few pages in its turned into a fight. Puts me off posting an honest opinion on whether OP is BU or not as I don't really want to get dragged in to the nastiness.

Maudlinmaud · 14/05/2017 21:26

Flouncers corner is located under the mumsnet stuff topic.

MycatsaPirate · 14/05/2017 21:37

If you think AIBU is rough, you should try posting in Step parenting. You get fucking ripped apart in there over the slightest minor thing. It's brutal.

YABU. Don't let the door hit your arse on the way out.

JayneAusten · 14/05/2017 21:38

I for one am glad that MN is taking a close look at AIBU. I've seen quite a lot of what I would describe, quite frankly, as bullying there.

starsinspring · 14/05/2017 21:39

I think MN demographics have changed, certainly. I don't see that as a bad or good thing: it's a thing, forums never stay static.

Goldfishjane · 14/05/2017 21:44

OP YABU
just look on the A-Z list and you'll find it
You posted for traffic Grin

I didn't know AIBU was being looked at. What it needs most is to be cleared of stuff that has no AIBU element.

Fairenuff · 14/05/2017 21:46

Flouncers' Corner

Fairenuff · 14/05/2017 21:51

I see over there that Ledkr has flounced.

Styturnip · 14/05/2017 21:51

Nowhere in MNHQ's message did they use the word "nice".

MN is not a "nice" place.

YABU

LineysRun · 14/05/2017 21:52

Yy, non-AIBUs should be moved to the correct topic. Utter cunts should be chastised. Actual wit should be amply rewarded.