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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

am i over reacting? DS, his GF and my hairbrush

44 replies

putthesneckon · 14/05/2017 11:28

Last night we went out leaving DS in the shower getting ready to go out with his GF. She wasn't ready to go out and i presumed they would be going to her house later as they were going out with her family.
DS slept at GF's last night.
this morning i've washed my hair and my hairbrushes weren't in the drawer where i keep them. i've found them downstairs, one has been cleaned and washed. next to them is my make up mirror and GF's make up bag.
I'm not happy that
-one of them has been in my bedroom and taken my brushes from my drawer
-one of them has taken my make up mirror from my make up bag

  • my brush wasn't clean enough for her to use so it has been washed (scrubbed)
-nothing has been returned -ds isn't replying to my text!

AIBU?

OP posts:
scaryteacher · 14/05/2017 11:30

Nope, not at all. It would have been polite to ask, or text to ask.

cheesydoesit · 14/05/2017 11:31

YANBU but perhaps she cleaned it after she used it? I'd still be annoyed at either one of them taking your things though.

AragornsManlyStubble · 14/05/2017 11:31

Maybe she washed it after she used it, not before. However I wouldn't be happy about the removal of items from my drawers without my knowledge or permission.

AragornsManlyStubble · 14/05/2017 11:32

X post with cheesy

Spam88 · 14/05/2017 11:32

They should have put them back but I can't see any other problem with this...

Fruitcocktail6 · 14/05/2017 11:32

I assume it's been cleaned after she used it? Not before. I think you're being rather dramatic.

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 14/05/2017 11:33

I'd assume it was washed after use personally. They should have asked but in the grand scheme of things, I'm not sure I could get myself worked up.

Floofborksnootandboop · 14/05/2017 11:34

Not particularly something I can get to worked up about tbh. Not a big deal.

olympicsrock · 14/05/2017 11:36

Not a big deal. She probably washed it after use. Your son probably gone them - I wouldn't mind ...

BusterGonad · 14/05/2017 11:36

I can see why you are annoyed but I can also see that it's typical stuff that kids/teenagers do without thinking.

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 14/05/2017 11:37

Also! I'd assume your DS said it was fine and went and found them for her.

Highalert · 14/05/2017 11:38

This wouldn't be a big deal for me. Sounds like she washed your brush after she used it. I expect your DS went and got her the make up mirror.

FrostyPopThePenguinLord · 14/05/2017 11:38

None of it is unreasonable if they haven't asked permission first, that's massively annoying, going through your things as well as not putting things back.

I imagine the likely scenario is though that your sons GF forgot a hair brush and needed a mirror and your son went into your room and borrowed yours, rather than her going through your things. He probably didn't mean to violate your personal space and it probably didn't even occur to him to ask you as you were out.

As for the washing of the brush, don't take it personally, some people are funny about hair. Also maybe she was trying to be polite, would you want a brush back full of your sons GFs hair? it's probably been washed after her using it not before.

Have a word with your son he is obviously old enough to understand personal boundaries, just that you would like to be asked next time, or at the very least put things back where you found them if you do borrow.

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 14/05/2017 11:38

I would be annoyed. Hair brushes come under personal items - same as a tooth brush. Personal possessions and private space invaded. I would be less than impressed.

user1493759849 · 14/05/2017 11:39

YANBU! Son's girlfriend or not, no-one has any right to go into your bedroom taking your stuff out of your drawers. I would be very pissed off. Not an over reaction at all OP.

And going into your make up bag? No, just no! What will she be going in next? Your handbag? Your purse? 'Oh, I just thought I would borrow a tenner!'

No. Personal space and privacy is being invaded here, and you are not over reacting.

user1493759849 · 14/05/2017 11:39

Get a lock on your bedroom door OP.

jay55 · 14/05/2017 11:40

Sharing a hairbrush with a non family member isn't okay, especially without asking, neither is going in to your drawers or makeup bag. It's all an invasion of privacy.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 14/05/2017 11:40

I would have gone nuts if they had been in my bedroom. .
Ds and his gf used my en suite shower once and she left the shampoo and conditioner lids off and it all drained away!! I let her know it was disrespectful and wasn't on. .
Let your boundaries known to both of them. .

Original poster
putthesneckon · 14/05/2017 11:40

Thank you, yes it looks like i was over reacting. Blush
I will talk to him about putting stuff back rather than rant about taking it Grin

OP posts:
Xanadu44 · 14/05/2017 11:40

I think you're being over dramatic. Your son probably took them thinking it was fine for his girlfriend to borrow. She will have cleaned it afterwards out of politeness. First world problem.

Original poster
putthesneckon · 14/05/2017 11:42

oh a few now with a different view. thank you
I will talk to him about it but won't rant as i may have done if i'd not posted

OP posts:
EverythingEverywhere1234 · 14/05/2017 11:44

What a reasonable response OP. I feel cheated. Where is the flounce?

Original poster
putthesneckon · 14/05/2017 11:45

EverythingEverywhere1234 sorry to disappoint Smile

OP posts:
ComputerUserNotTrained · 14/05/2017 11:46

Indeed, far too rational a response. You are aware this is AIBU, aren't you op? GrinBrew

Fragglez · 14/05/2017 11:48

I would think she washed it after she used it, unless it has her hair in it??

The mirror is odd - presumably you have wall mirrors around the house?

The going in the bedroom would piss me off, but it was probably your son, not her.

Would you usually be ok with him going in your bedroom for himself? If he needed nail scissors or savlon or something? Is it the going in your bedroom or the fact it is for the gf that is the problem?

Tbh if you are ok with him borrowing stuff like that I doubt he will have realised that different rules apply to the gf.