To ask how long does it take to meet someone and have a baby?

[WhereDoesThisRoadGo]

This is going to seem like a ridiculous question, which I acknowledge, bit hope you forgive me because we cannot be rational all the time. I am worrying a lot that, at 33, I am no closer to having a child than I was at 23. And I am just getting older. I am single and do not have anyone in the pipeline who wants children one day. Please share your stories of time between met - engaged - married - baby (or met - baby) to help me work out what my cut off needs to be for giving up going it alone.

At your age, I felt exactly like you. I had recently split up from my childhood sweetheart of 14 years, and felt like I was not going to meet anyone new and my chances of having children via a relationship were diminishing and I was having similar thoughts to you and panicking.

Then I met someone who was fun and a bit dangerous, we had a lot of sexual chemistry and dated on and off. 18 months after meeting him I fell pregnant (I was 33). Had a chat decided to try and go for it as a family, I felt ecstatic I wouldn't end up childless after all. Big mistake. I've been though hell and back because of this man.I have a beautiful daughter but the relationship has been awful - I didn't know him at all cause we were literally just fucking and the idyllic family life I pictured was anything but. Constant arguments, DV, you name it...DD is now six and I've only just about got my life in some sort of order. So my advice - don't panic, take your time choosing someone and if it comes to it go it alone if you have to.

We moved in together after 18 months, engaged 4 months later, married the year after, baby the year after that so about 3 years until married, 4 until we had a baby.

Met at 22.

Married 2 years later.

Conceived baby 2.5 years after being married (after trying for 3 months)

Baby was born after we'd been together for just over 5 years in total.

Got together in February, pregnant by September, first child at 38.
Now pregnant with second and will be 40 when he or she arrives.

My parents moved in together after 6 weeks (in their mid-20s), married in less than 6 months and are still happy together 40+ years later.

I feel like my overwhelming desire for a child affected most of my thirties, as I just couldnt be happy without knowing whether it would happen, and knew I would not be able to come to terms with it if it didnt. By 37, I was fully expecting to never meet anyone, and was investigating how to have a baby alone - went to the GP for fertility checks, sounded out friends, looked into Danish sperm banks, online forums etc.

I feel incredibly lucky to have met someone kind, loving and altogether wonderful at 37, and to not have had any problems conceiving, but do have female friends in their mid- to late- 30s who have not met anyone/ are having fertility problems/ have settled for an idiot.

My advice is to look into going it alone - if you really want a child and know in your heart that you will be miserable forever without one (sounds dramatic, but that was me - and even more now I have one, nearly two), then work towards it. Talk to your family, make practical plans, take job decisions with it in mind, save - whatever it takes. Obviously single parenting is a tough road, but tougher than being childless? For me it would not be, although I am so very grateful not to be in that position.

Meanwhile a decent man might come along - very likely if you are only 33! But if not, don't settle for someone who you don't love or who is not good for you - be ready to make it happen by yourself if that's what you really want.

Met 2010
Got together 2011
Engaged 2013
Married 2015
DS born 2016
Currently TTC #2

Met june 2010, moved in nov 2010, dc1 (planned) born nov 2011, dc2+3 born 2014, got married in 2014. When its the right person time frames dont matter it's about what feels right

9 months

Met other half at 33. We talked about kids within 6 months of meeting. Had two kids by the time I was 37.

Got together with Dh at 27.
Married him at 28.
First baby at 31.

I felt exactly the same as you at 33 (no long term relationship before then). Planned to do babies on my own if hadn't met anyone by 35.

9 1/2 months!!

We met in chat rooms. I had been left by my ExH the year before. He came to meet me two weeks later.

We did actually DTD on our first night together. We both knew it was unprotected sex.

DD was born three weeks early. She was poorly when she was born, we came close to losing her and that is when I think I fell in love with him. He was amazing.

I had been prepared to be a single parent, having been married before, had a baby after 2 years and then left for the OW, I just wanted another baby. I was honest about that.

I joke that DP is the one night stand that won't go away. DD is nearly 12 and DS is nearly 11. We do ok!!

That was meant to say 8 1/2 months!

Mate. Time is ticking on. I'd start making a plan B. I wanted love, marriage , house , baby. The lot. I got to 32. I was tentatively putting out feelers for a potential father. Danger age I gave myself till 35. I got pregnant by surprise with a very very casual chap who didn't want to know. I wanted a baby whether I was on my own or not. I mean. I didn't say. If I don't meet the one, then no baby for me as I'd always wanted child/ren. So plan C really for me. Not planned but happy surprise.

Met at 21
Married at 23
Baby 1 at 25
Baby 2 at 34

My DP helped me move (I hired him, he was a friend of a friend) in December 2015. We practically moved in together straight away. I was pregnant by March 2016 and am currently sat cuddling my 5 month old DD. We are engaged (August 2016) and hope to get married next year!

It took us ages but then we needed IVF. From meeting to starting trying was just a few years.
Would you consider a fertility test to see how your ovarian reserve is bearing up? They can give you a good idea of whether or not you can wait.

Met mine at 40, had first baby at 42.

Met at 31, engaged at 32 and married just before I turned 33. First baby at 34.
I had pretty much accepted I wouldn't have kids, had had a couple of serious relationships which went nowhere. Had just been dumped by a guy I'd met online and couldn't face internet dating again so was just getting on with living my life. Met my dh at a party, never imagined I'd be sitting here 3 years on holding my baby.

Met august 2013
Baby may 2014
Second baby November 2016

Still waiting on my damn proposal though...

I was 18, he was 21 when we met in the September of 2006. Due to failed birth control I was pregnant the following February so we had been together 5 months at that point. We had been together 13 months when DD was born Oct 07. We married in May 09. We had our second baby Feb 12.

Had our eldest daughter 4 years and 4 days after we first met, younger one 6 years and 2 months after meeting. We married 2 years and 7 months after meetin, engaged 18 months together. So all pretty swift. I've known people so it even quicker so it's definitely possible!

Met my DH at 23 ( We went to secondary school together) had DD when I was 26, married at 27 had DS at 29. I wanted to wait afew years before having our first DC together as I had DS1 from a previous relationship and wanted to be sure. There's a five year age gap between DS1 and DD although they are very close.

Met in our early 20's and had DC at 38 (That was choice though.... and when I actively tried to get pregnant I conceived the first month)

Other people's time frames shouldn't matter to you. Everyone goes about this a different way.

Fwiw I know someone who did the met to pregnant in 2 weeks. Not exactly advisable though. They have no contact with the child now either.

In addition to my previous post, I would recommend getting your fertility checked and look into freezing your eggs, at least that way you'll know in advance if there are any problems and I speak from experience!