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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

speech would you be concerned?

90 replies

ohdeaeyme · 13/05/2017 21:02

dd is 2.5 tomorrow and can say

herro (hello)
aye (bye)
ine (mine)
share
no
og (dog)
choochoo (train)
cheese
shus (shoes)
mama (mummy)
two
yuck
mac/ma (max)
ow
juju (for a drink whether its milk/juice/water)

she can do animal sounds
oooo for moo
aaaa for baa
monkey noise
lion noise

she has been referred for SALT but no one will really tell me how behind she is or how much i should be worried or if i should even be worried at all. HV also said she makes an unusual 'ck' sound all the time but didnt expand on this either. have 18 weeks of worry ahead :(

OP posts:

00alwaysbusymum · 13/05/2017 23:36

No, each child develops at a different rate. My 3 year old barley spoke on his third birthday, was really stressing me out, he's now 4, and he doesn't shut up for a minute or let any one else talk !
My youngest was also quite quiet and now at 2.5 is chatting non stop !

Original poster

ohdeaeyme · 13/05/2017 23:38

no mu she is fully mine its just her dad was an abusive arse to us both and i didnt get an escape route until january. i did try my best to really encourage her but havent done a very good job

OP posts:

Primaryteach87 · 13/05/2017 23:43

Don't be too hard on yourself! You've done so well to escape. Focus on the future.

Witchend · 13/05/2017 23:48

Firstly:
Take the SALT appointment. In our area there's up to a year's waiting list. If she improves in that time, then great; if she doesn't then you'll be glad you got her on the list.

I don't think she is much behind-but she is a little. I think when mine were little they looked for 20 "appropriate sounds" at the 2 year check. She's about there, so about 5 months behind.
But you might well expect worse than that from what you've said, which implies to me she'll probably catch up quickly.

When dd1 was about that age one of her friends was referred to SALT for having, I think, 2 words only (mama and one other). Dd1 was speaking fully in sentences at 18 months and using sentences of 8-9 words long correctly.
We lost contact and met up again when the children were 4yo and you could not tell at all from their sentence structure and talking which one had been an early speaker and which had needed SALT.
They can easily catch up at this age, and it's great that it's been picked up on.

Coldilox · 13/05/2017 23:53

My DS is a little older and has only recently started to put words together into sentences, at 2.5 he wasn't saying much more than yours. He's been under SALT since he was 2, just two appointments so far (ongoing assessment of his development, they will offer proper sessions at 3). Speech therapist has said he is delayed but that there is no major problem, he might just need some extra help.

Try not to worry, she's only tiny and has plenty of time to catch up. Going to SALT is a good thing. In the meantime, the website Talking Point is brilliant, lots of good advice and you can buy resources as well.

Monkeyinshoes · 14/05/2017 00:13

At that age my DS1 had a bigger vocab and was putting words into sentences BUT he garbled so many of the sounds that only I could understand him. My DS2 didn't say as much as his brother at that age but what he did say was easier to understand. Every child is different. Both had speech therapy and now you'd never know they had any issues.

Don't worry at all, she will catch up.

sleepyhead · 14/05/2017 00:22

Ds2 has just turned 4 and was referred for salt assessment at 3.5.

At his 30 month check he had fewer words than your dd does now and by the time he was referred he had a few more but none were clear.

He passed a hearing check, and his receptive language was great. He also had other ways of making himself understood (very expressive face, lots of gestures) so at the triaging appointment the salt wasn't too concerned but agreed he should be fully assessed.

Anyway, his assessment appointments were this month and he's come on in leaps and bounds in the intervening 6 months. He's still not very clear but they're satisfied all the sounds are there and suspect he will catch up over the next 6 months.

I'm glad I pushed for the assessment though. The range of "normal" is vast at that age but it's good to get things checked out to be on the safe side.

sleepyhead · 14/05/2017 00:23

Oops - sorry, that did have paragraphs when I posted. Bloody mobile

BillSykesDog · 14/05/2017 00:33

Do you know how speech normally develops in your family or in her father's? My little boy was similar if not worse, didn't really talk until he turned 4. He is 5 and fine now, top of the class for reading and near top for everything else. His father's family tend to talk late but it's not stopped them graduating and being successful.

You've been through a really tough time, and it's really natural that you're feeling anxious. But I wouldn't say it's time to worry too much yet.

One of the things I did with my little boy which really helped was getting a few story books, reading them regularly and regularly asking the same questions about the same books. We had Winnie the Witch, the Lighthouse Keepers Cat and Percy the Park keeper. We would read them and I would ask similar questions each time about 'Why did Winnie say that', ''How do you think the lighthouse keeper felt'. It created a safe secure environment for him to repeat familiar things.

chastenedButStillSmiling · 14/05/2017 00:40

My cousin's DD is around 16 months older than my DD. My DD started talking before she was 1, but (like you) sounds that needed translation, etc. Then she got words like "no" "ma" "da" etc. Cousin's DD was mute and my cousin was crazy-worried. Her DD started talking later than your child, but when she did it was in complete sentences.

Ch develop amazingly and make huge leaps. Try not to worry too much.

Original poster

ohdeaeyme · 14/05/2017 06:41

i didnt speak without intensive SALT but my parents helpfully cant remember why. dads family are amazing early talkers. her cousin was saying three word sentances at 15 months

OP posts:

ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual · 14/05/2017 06:55

Does she/will she go to pre-school at all? Ds was delayed at speaking, I took him to a couple of private speech appts which helped massively in terms of identifying where the problem lay (he wasn't looking at me enough to see how I was forming letter sounds). At 2.5 he said very few words and they were all mispronounced...within 3 months of starting pre school he was talking in sentences. He's still behind with his pronunciation but he's changed so much and I'm sure by the time he's 4ish, he'll be the same as his peers. For him, being around older children really helped him.

It's such a worry I know, so I would try to go down the private therapist route, even just for an assessment, if you possibly can.

Xanadu44 · 14/05/2017 07:03

I didn't utter a word until I was 3. Not one. My parents were beside themselves but then I just started talking. Give yourself a break, monitor how she is going and then maybe see someone but it sounds quite normal to me. (I'm 35 now, university educated and never shut up!)

Original poster

ohdeaeyme · 14/05/2017 07:08

she does 15 hours a week at a childminders with 5 other 2 year old and we go to groups four days a week with lots of toddlers.

OP posts:

FreedomMummy · 14/05/2017 07:24

My 2.8 yr old is speaking similar to yours, probably a touch further on but that's only happened in literally the last 3 weeks. No one seems worried about him (although he had been referred to salt).
He hasn't had a rough start, he's just delayed in his speech. What I'm saying is don't beat yourself up, kids develop differently.

marabounuts · 14/05/2017 07:55

does she understands at an age appropriate level?

TBH, I would worry. My DC had only single words at that age but also significant delays in understanding. My DC did not magically grow out of these problems and will not not go to uni to become a top achiever (now has dx of autism and learning diffs).

are you just worried about her speech or also get understanding and other areas of development?

Leeloo2 · 14/05/2017 07:56

ohdeaeyme - it sounds like your dd has lots of positive social interactions now, but obviously the stress early on will have affected her (and you, you poor thing!). Did you find it hard to talk to her as much as you'd want to because of the abuse? Or need to keep her quiet? (not asking you to answer these questions really, just it might have had an impact.)

I second what other posters have said - narrate everything you do in a relaxed way 'oh I'm going to make a sandwich now, I need some food. I'm sooo hungry. What shall we have? I think I'll have cheese and tomato... And I'll make you ham, shall I? I think ham is your favourite, yummy, yummy ham.' etc etc

So a mix of rhetorical questions, which you then answer and linking vocabulary you want her to learn -hungry/food/food types etc. It's doing it in a playful, non-stressful way, so there's no pressure on her to talk.

Also cuddling up for story time. Read familiar and favourite books and ask and answer your own questions 'oh look at the little bear. Isn't he sweet? What does he want? I think he wants his mummy.' she'll benefit from the closeness and the language she hears.

Leeloo2 · 14/05/2017 08:01

Sorry, one last thing. You probably do already, but I'd go overboard on praising her for any verbal or non-verbal (pointing etc) she does, so eg doing a puzzle ... 'can you point to the doggy? Oh, that's right, clever girl that is the doggy. You pointed to just the right one. He's a little brown doggy isn't he? Now,can you find me the fish? Oh you found him,well done...'

coffeemachine · 14/05/2017 08:09

from your first post it sounds also as if her understanding is behind.

I would push for a referral to a developmental paed. I know lots of posters want to be reassuring by telling you about their late talking DC who now never shut up but it doesn't always happen. I have a disabled child myself and if I been given a pound for every single time I head these type of stories, I would be rich.

her speech is very very delayed but at 2.5 they should be able to answer questions that go beyond 'what sound does the dog make?'. even my child with severe LD and ASD was able to do that at 18 months.

Given her delays and her history, I'd rather get her referred. It will take months in any case and if she needs more support, then the better the sooner.

what does nursery say?

Original poster

ohdeaeyme · 14/05/2017 08:09

thank you this is all really helpful.

im not sure how her understanding is or where it should be

OP posts:

Sunnysidegold · 14/05/2017 08:10

My ds5 is currently in under SALT and it has worked wonders. It has caused me.no end of worry as at his initial assessment when he was 4 they told me things were more severe than I'd thought and I.spent the next year thinking of been an.awful.mum not to have seen it.i too suffer.from anxiety and the wait was awful and looking back if I had been able to access a private appt I would have. At least then you could have an idea of the specific problem and they could give you some strategies to help. My son now has extra support in school (YR) but this will stop next year as he is now too 'good' to qualify for the extra input. Like you say she has had a difficult time and January wasn't so long ago, it may just take a little more time to adjust to new circumstances but if she doesn't improve at least you have her in the system. The main thing is she is in a safe environment now where you can concentrate on building a safe and secure life for you both. Well done on leaving, it must have been a very difficult time,

Original poster

ohdeaeyme · 14/05/2017 08:12

the only thing her childminders have commented on is that they too thinks she needs SALT and that she reminds them of a little girl they used to have who has muscle problems

OP posts:

coffeemachine · 14/05/2017 08:13

if you tell her to go to her room to get x toy, can she do it?

if you tell her to get her shoes and coat to go out, would she?

if she has e.g. a blue and a red ball, would she be able to reliably be able to get the 'red' or 'blue' on instruction?

can she answer yes/no questions? just asking as you said she cannot answer the question if she is hungry

marabounuts · 14/05/2017 08:13

how are her play skills? does she do pretend play?

MrsJayy · 14/05/2017 08:19

Children who have challanges like your dd tend to not speak as well as your usual toddler however she is just 2 and a half so her speech will come on in my limited experience toddlers who attend SALT do catch up on speech as long as her understanding of what she is trying to communicate is there which it seems to be dont panic

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