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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this was karma?

66 replies

funnynight · 13/05/2017 13:38

My sister and I have a fairly love hate relationship. Went out for dinner last night and each paid for what we had (it came to about 70 altogether). As I went to pay my share (significantly more), she queried the bill and asked the waitress for a couple of more minutes to pay hers.

Incidentally they had left my cocktail off the bill which she was furious about and insisted I should still pay for. The service was appalling and the meal was very average and overpriced so as far as I was concerned it was fine. But no, she mentioned this to waitress in order to get me to pay it!

She then made as if to leave the restaurant, thereby saddling me with her portion of the meal! 35 quid extra for me! And the cocktail... She only stayed when the waitress saw and came bustling back over.

This left her in the position of paying not obly her share but also for my extra cocktail - karma? (She is currently forcing me to give her the money...)

OP posts:

Chloe84 · 13/05/2017 14:54

How did the waitress know that your sister was leaving without paying the bill? Wouldn't she have assumed you would pay the bill?

ClashCityRocker · 13/05/2017 14:59

Unless she died after the meal and reincarnated back as a slug, it isn't karma.

Valentine2 · 13/05/2017 15:01

Neither of you sound very fair to me I think.

Ceto · 13/05/2017 15:06

Hmm, AIBU is clearly attracting a lot of people who are bored and looking for any excuse to beat someone up. OP should clearly have refused to pay the service charge rather than ignoring the failure re the cocktail, but given that the sums involved were probably similar I can't get too worked up about her going for the cocktail option. And the sequence of events seemed perfectly clear to me from the first post, so people beating up OP because they couldn't understand need to turn their attention to themselves.

OP, I suggest you pay your sister the cost of the cocktail less her half of the service charge.

DriftingDreamer · 13/05/2017 15:13

Families eh....
I like the paying her in small change option for the cocktail.
I have a large family. Things can get petty....

Liiinoo · 13/05/2017 15:17

I always point out if I notice something is missed off the bill, just as I point out if something I didn't have is added! I think to do otherwise is theft. To justify it by saying the service was crap is a bit like saying it's ok to picket a couple of items from your Tesco trolley if the queues are long.

I was very proud of DD last year - she went inter-railing around Europe on quite a tight budget. In one capital city she treated herself to two glasses of prosecco in a posh hotel (motivated largely by the desire to use a clean toilet, sit in a peaceful bar without being hit on by other backpackers and use their super speedy wi-fi). When the bill came she had only been charged for the first glass and she told the waiter. They were so touched by her honesty they tore up the bill and gave her another glass on the house.

DancingOnTheTable · 13/05/2017 15:56

Wait.....

So the bill was £70.

You paid your "significantly" higher share of the bill, minus the cocktail that they forgot to add.

Your sister asked the waiting staff for more time to pay then told them you hadn't paid for the cocktail, she then started to leave and was stopped by the staff and made to pay £35 for her share plus the cost of your cocktail.

If her share was £35 and the bill was £70 how was your share "significantly more"?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 13/05/2017 16:45

"Haha classic MN! I highly doubt everyone here would add that one cocktail back to the bill"

I would, @funnynight. But if the service had been that bad, I wouldn't have paid the service charge.

It is worth remembering that, if you hadn't paid for th cocktail, you waitress might well have had it deducted from her pay. No-one decent skips out on their bill, knowing that.

GabsAlot · 13/05/2017 17:46

you dont have to pay any service charge esp if the service isnt good

they cant enforcee it

SugarnetMum · 13/05/2017 18:38

Wow a cocktail. Businesses like these don't miss the expense of one cocktail. Jeez I have regulars that we give free bottles of wine to.

harderandharder2breathe · 13/05/2017 18:46

Yep I have a sister. Wouldn't go out to dinner with her if you paid me

Walnutwhipaddict · 13/05/2017 20:15

Unless she died after the meal and reincarnated back as a slug, it isn't karma.

This.

BMW6 · 13/05/2017 21:33

I have 4 siblings and certainly would go NC with any/all if they tried to do a runner after a meal.

Why on earth would you continue to subject yourself to this miserable relationship?

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 14/05/2017 01:27

The maths:
The original bill, minus the cocktail, came in at £70.
Assuming the cocktail cost in the region of around £7 (I have no idea if this is reasonable or not) then it could have gone like this:
Original split - OP £42: sister £28 = £70, and yes, 42 is significantly higher than 28.

Then comes the cocktail addition -
Add the £7 onto the sister's bill --> £35
But of course the final bill will have gone up by now to £77 as well.

DancingOnTheTable · 14/05/2017 07:46

But that's not what the OP said
"thereby saddling me with her portion of the meal! 35 quid extra for me! And the cocktail..."
The sisters share was £35 not including the extra cocktail.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 14/05/2017 12:59

@SugarnetMum - I am sure that a business like that doesn't miss the cost of one cocktail - because often they will take it out of the wages of the wait-staff! I have seen far too many accounts on here of people ending up paying the whole bill for a table that has skipped out without paying. It is not the same as a business giving regular customers freebies, either.

If you work for a business that doesn't have this policy, that is great - but too many do, and no-one should risk leaving their waiter or waitress to pay for their food or drink!

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