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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be this hacked off at the MIL?!

51 replies

Madeaminnieme · 13/05/2017 12:09

So we all know there's this craze for the fidget spinners just now.
I was in my MIL's last week and the discussion came up about them. I said my 6 year old DS's school was only allowing them for this kids with attention issues as they were designed for and because of recent injury reports plus the fact there is nothing wrong with my DS's attention I told my MIL wasn't buying him one. I said I didn't want to fall into the trap of buying him any new craze every time they came up incase one of them was something we couldn't afford. I was also concerned about the injury's being reported.
I've nothing against other parents getting their kids one but that's how I feel.
Anyway, this week for whatever reason, my MIL wanted to get herself one and also got one for my DS.
AIBU to be hacked off that she disregarded what I said and gave him one. Not to mention completely taken aback why a 65 year old would want one?

OP posts:
Crispbutty · 13/05/2017 12:11

They are harmless, cheap, and every kid has one at the moment. Yabu.

SaucyJack · 13/05/2017 12:12

Meh. I can't get het up over a 4 quid toy.

Chill, Winston. Allow your family a little fun in life.

Original poster
Madeaminnieme · 13/05/2017 12:14

I'm not annoyed at the toy. I'm annoyed at being over ruled

OP posts:
Trifleorbust · 13/05/2017 12:14

You said no. She ignored you. I would be annoyed.

shockthemonkey · 13/05/2017 12:14

You told your MIL "wasn't buying him one". Do you mean you told her you wouldn't be buying him one, or you told her she shouldn't buy him one? The distinction is possibly important.

Shouldn't really concern you what your MIL is planning to do with her own fidget thingummy.

Trb17 · 13/05/2017 12:16

YANBU to be annoyed that she overruled you. I would tell her that whilst you will let this one go, if she overrules you in future you will not put up with it again.

Original poster
Madeaminnieme · 13/05/2017 12:17

The last part about the MIL was tongue in cheek. Note to self: don't consider a career in writing

OP posts:
Seav · 13/05/2017 12:18

It was a passive aggressive move - easily deniable and over something that will make you look very petty/mean if you complain - a classic! YANBU.

EweAreHere · 13/05/2017 12:20

What does your DH say about his mother's actions?

I am curious about how you worded it. If you just told her you weren't buying one because of the money/latest craze and you can't afford to buy them every little thing they want, it might be she heard it as you weren't buying any, but you didn't say she couldn't.

If you told her you were concerned about injuries as well as the above. which isn't clear from your post, then I'd be cross.

Original poster
Madeaminnieme · 13/05/2017 12:24

I said I didn't want him having one because of the injuries and because I didn't see the point when he doesn't have ADHD or anything. Feel it's ruining it for the kids who actually need them and I'm basing this because I know a few kids who do

OP posts:
HappyFlappy · 13/05/2017 12:26
Crispbutty · 13/05/2017 12:29

And what are the injury risks?

I can't see them being a particularly dangerous toy.

ButEmilylovedhim · 13/05/2017 12:31

What kind of injuries?? I was going to buy one for dd this afternoon!

EweAreHere · 13/05/2017 12:31

They weren't actually invented for SEN ...

CoolCarrie · 13/05/2017 12:35

Yes they were, by an American mother for her SEN child. She unfortunately let the patent go so doesn't get any money for her invention

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 13/05/2017 12:37

They weren't actually invented for SEN

Yes they were.

user1493022461 · 13/05/2017 12:40

Thats a really daft reason for not getting one, and that is what grannys do.
I think yabvu.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 13/05/2017 12:47

YANBU.

They're already becoming a PITA in classrooms because they've become the latest "craze" and most kids want one, regardless of their original intended use. Teachers at DS1's school are having to tell the children to stop using them unless they're absolutely necessary (i.e. child has statemented needs) and then only quietly in their pockets or similar.

So YANBU to not get him one if he doesn't actually need one, your reasoning of not getting him one just because it's a latest "fad" is perfectly sound as well and YANBU to be pissed off that MIL has undermined you on both counts.

JayneAusten · 13/05/2017 12:51

Injuries! LOL.

You are being really uptight and silly.

Lymmmummy · 13/05/2017 12:51

Not sure - did you tell MIL "I don't want him to have one" or did you tell her or tell your son in front of her "I won't be buying one"
2 different trhings if she thought you would not it one perhaps she thought she was doing him a favour if she know she you prefer he doesn't have one regardless of who buys it then yes not good!

Siwdmae · 13/05/2017 12:51

You've been undermined. Yanbu. I would return it to her.

monsieurpoirot · 13/05/2017 12:52

Just restate your rule about them, and say it can be a toy to be kept at her house for visits :)

MuseumGardens · 13/05/2017 12:55

I think it's a shame to never allow your child to take part in crazes at school. You can get them for £2.89 on Amazon.

Lunde · 13/05/2017 12:55

Thank MIL and tell her that as ds doesn't need it you will be donating it to an SEN charity that provides equipment for children in need

Wando1986 · 13/05/2017 12:56

You were overruled because you're being bloody daft op. It's a 4 quid toy. Why can't he play with one at home or her house? Give over. Pick your battles. This isn't one.

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