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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Go fund me

108 replies

Livingonhopex · 12/05/2017 23:34

Long term lurker, NC.
With today's current economic climate, would you donate a tiny amount to a crowd fund which specifically was aiming to raise funds for a deposit for a flat? Small amount, high volume type raiser?

I feel like I'm smacking my head off a brick wall trying to save for a deposit and it's laughable I'm even asking this question because it's ridiculous but I'm just curious about people's opinions of this type of thing?

Thanks

OP posts:

tigerskinrug · 13/05/2017 01:03

Ds was born unwell and no doctors knew what was wrong but he continued to get worse.we looked into private where he would get tested intil a cause was found more quickly (Portland hospital) but its was very dear me and dh thought about crowd funding to pay for it. What would people think of that?

To be completely honest I wouldn't contribute unless it was for life saving treatment. I would also be surprised that a child born unwell in the UK would have to go for private testing to establish the cause.

PaperdollCartoon · 13/05/2017 01:08

Some treatments aren't over here yet because they're so new/expensive. Several cancer treatment ones are to go to for proton beam therapy for example. The US has had a few proton beam scanners for a few years, the UK is only just about to get our first one this year (at the Christie hospital in Manchester, if you're wondering)

Medical research in America has a lot more money, therefore able to get more kit.

Ps4widow · 13/05/2017 01:08

It turned out to something quite rare which is why it took so long . Any longer and he would not be here

BastardGoDarkly · 13/05/2017 01:42

No chance, and I think you've got a fucking cheek tbh.

anon1987 · 13/05/2017 01:53

I wouldn't be apposed to the idea no. At the end of the day, you don't get what you don't ask for, and if people want to help and then that's up to them, nobodies forcing anyone to help.
I just wish I had the guts to do it myself.

NightWanderer · 13/05/2017 02:03

A friend of mine set one up. He's having family problems and needs 5,000 pounds to fix his car and pay for living expenses. I didn't donate as I have my own problems but I find the whole thing really awkward.

StillHungryy · 13/05/2017 02:09

FFS, really...REALLY?! The mind boggles at some people

yoursforthetalking · 13/05/2017 02:14

I'd say yes to Bibbety but not to you because a) you're just jumping on her wagon b) you didn't even ask in a nice/funny way c) you're trying to make out this was your idea and it's not, it's hers.

emmyrose2000 · 13/05/2017 02:15

Nope. It's begging. I don't give to beggars, either online or in real life.

I had a couple of relatives pull stunts like this. One was an online thing and the other was a typed letter (before Go Fund Me etc were invented). One was to raise funds to go and "find himself" overseas and the other was for some legal fees. She was 100% in the right, but that's no reason to expect friends/family/strangers to pay for the lawyer.

To say I was shocked that they would do this was an understatement. I was so embarrassed for them that they would think this was okay. Needless to say I ignored them, as did everyone else from what I can gather.

StillHungryy · 13/05/2017 02:17

What was Bibbity's

anon1987 · 13/05/2017 02:54

I really don't get why people are being so shitty about OPs question??

Where i live in the south you need a massive deposit to buy property because it's so expensive.
Not everyone has enough time and finances to save £40k+ for a deposit on a bedsit,
Not everyone has parents that can chip in either.
Out of all my couple friends, I know only 1 couple who purchased their first house independently. Most couples I know were lucky and had help from parents and relatives and also had their weddings paid for too.

In order for my dp and I to buy a house we'd have to Iive with relatives (that we don't have) for at least 4 years and live off beans on toast, at the end of it we'd only be able to afford a small 1 bed flat at most, as the average 3 bed semi is £400k+ in our area.

If someone wants to think outside the box to raise funds, I don't see the harm in it?
You don't have to donate?!.
But if they could get 8,000 people from around the world (wishful thinking) to donate £5 they might have their deposit in a year or so and by that time the £5 would have most probably been forgotten about by the person donating.

I'm sure most of you don't think twice about spending £5 on a couple of take away coffees, or a meal deal or several more tenners for some overpriced handbag.

Yet £5 could potentially change a persons life.
Having a home is important and that person trying to crowd source the funds, might genuinely be at a disadvantage in life.

StillHungryy · 13/05/2017 03:05

I'm sure most of you don't think twice about spending £5 on a couple of take away coffees, or a meal deal or several more tenners for some overpriced handbag.

But most people do this even those that if they had 8000 people donating £5 it would help them massively, because it would help the overwhelming majority. It's very cheeky and whilst they can hunt money in anyway they choose, asking in a way that is so public and cheeky it's also everyone else's right to reply and say no in a way they choose

takeabreakthatslife · 13/05/2017 03:20

No way

But I know someone who did this and got the money and now is buying a house.

Huge 'online presence' going back years though. With 1000s of Instagram followers and has modelled for music videos and magazines with band merchandise though which obviously helped!

NightWanderer · 13/05/2017 03:57

I think part of the problem is that on the whole genuinely hard-working diligent people don't start Go Fund Me pages for themselves.

The guy I knew was lazy and entitled, and I really don't understand how he got himself in the situation he did. It seems to be because he did a half-assed job of things and that came to bite him on the bum.

That's why it's often hard to be sympathetic to these people. Rather than working hard and living cheaply they seem to feel the world owes them something.

By this, I don't mean people who genuinely have suffered. I have given a lot to people who lost their homes due to natural disaster, war, famine. It's not their fault but just because you're a single mum on benefits doesn't mean other people should pay for you and your kids to go to Disneyland. There's a line somewhere.

Temporary2002 · 13/05/2017 04:21

Nope.
I only donate to offical organizations for emergency enviromental disaster type of things.

emmyrose2000 · 13/05/2017 05:39

Where i live in the south you need a massive deposit to buy property because it's so expensive

That can be said for locations all over the world. The OP is not in a unique position.

There are many other options besides just sticking out your hand and expecting other people to cough up. Other people manage to save, take out a loan from a bank or family member or scale down their plans. OP, and others pulling this type of stunt, can do this too.

BitchQueen90 · 13/05/2017 07:19

Not a chance in hell. I'm a single parent and there's not a hope in hell of me saving for a house deposit any time soon, but I wouldn't be so bloody cheeky as to ask strangers to help me.

I work in a homeless hostel with people who don't even have a roof over their heads. There are people who are starving. People with terminal illnesses. I'd rather see money go towards that.

Owning your own home is something most people have had to work hard, make sacrifices for, etc. It's not their fault if you can't afford to save.

Also, the issue with crowdfunding is how do you know anything is genuine? Whenever I give to charity I only give to registered ones.

AddToBasket · 13/05/2017 07:26

Anon1987 - 8000 people giving a fiver! That is delusional.

What would make you think £5 to you would be better spent than giving to Shelter? Or any other charity or cause? There's no way a grabby couple from the UK needs a £40k deposit more than a refugee needs a £15 tent, or similar.

MrsJamesMathews · 13/05/2017 10:17

Absolutely not.

But I am going to give @bibbitybobbityyhat a fiver towards her legal costs so she can sue you for theft of her intellectual property.

anon1987 · 13/05/2017 10:48

Addtobasket then don't donate then!!
Simple as that!.

witsender · 13/05/2017 10:51

Meh, if a good friend asked me I would chuck in a fiver if I had it, both DH and I were lucky to get parental help with deposits and are in a position where if we were really stuck they would help...a lot of our friends are the same but I know some aren't.

A stranger? Probably less likely

FrenchMartiniTime · 13/05/2017 10:52

No! It's just begging.

Entitled generation who think everything should be handed to them.

Tell them to go out, work and save for their own bloody flat.

youaredeluded · 13/05/2017 10:54

No. Buy your own house like the rest of us! Or rent a house like the other rest of us!

likeababyelephant · 13/05/2017 10:56

If I had the funds I would OP.

pudcat · 13/05/2017 10:59

Modern day begging without leaving the comfort of your armchair to stand on cold wet corners. No way. I would give to someone using this way to get sponsors for a charity, but not for personal gain.

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