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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To request dd does not do her "detention "

74 replies

TheoriginalLEM · 11/05/2017 20:53

That she may not even gave.

My dd is in y7 and a conscientious student very shy . The big issue is she is severely dyslexic. She gets good support for this in school and has additional tuition from a dyslexia tutor. She has actually done amazingly well considering and i am SO proud of her.

So this week her homework was to revise for a spelling test in Spanish. She didn't want me to help but asked her tutor if they could use the session to go through it and they made a flash card game to do. She also "revised" last night although she could probably use help but she gets very streesed so i let her do it herself.

So despite putting in the effort her score was predictably low and she only got 3 out of 20 something. She also thinks she may have been confused as she said she feels she rebised the wrong words.

So they had to read their scores out to the class but dd was too embarrassed and refused - she said her teacher was understanding and didn't push her (as i say dd is a conscientious child and wasn't being difficult just mortified and upset).

I wonder if the general level wasn't great as her teacher has said that those who achieved under 10 will have to repeat the test during break after the next lesson.

Now i asked dd if she clarified with her teacher that she would have to do this but she said she was too upset to ask.

Dd was distraight as she just wanted to do well and says she is rubbish at Spanish. I explained that her dyslexia will make languages really hard for her and tgat maybe she shouldn't worry too much as she can drop the subject in yr 9 (i think) but to just do her best but accept that it wont be her strongest subject in any way. that she is brilliant at other things and that through sheer determination English is actually her strongest subject. But i can see how trying to learn another language that doesn't follow the same rules as English would be ridiculously difficult for someone who is dyslexic.

I have emailed the teacher explaining that she did do her homework and used her tuition session to learn the words, the confusion over the list and to ask that she be excused from the detention. I have said i am happy to go through the correct list with her at home.

I don't want to use dyslexia as a get out clause but i feel it is unfair and really bad for dd's self esteem to be penalised for it.

as i said the school have been very supportive of dd and she has several interventions to help her. She also is able to use a word processor as her hand writing is illegible. So she may not even have to go but i want to reassure dd she isn't in trouble.

I can however appreciate how it might cause difficulties for the teacher if she is seen to let one pupiil off.

OP posts:
KoalaDownUnder · 12/05/2017 04:47

I think YABU.

she is never going to be a linguist. Pushing her to do it is hardly empowering.

She doesn't have to be a 'linguist'. Sometimes it's not about the end result, or about being 'empowered', it's about learning to persevere. Maybe she'll do slightly better when she does the test again.

Learning persistence is a skill in itself.

araiwa · 12/05/2017 05:00

what if she learnt the wrong words?

finding out the correct words and her getting a higher score will boost her confidence.

likewise redoing the test and getting a higher score shows that her trying hard will be rewarded

Mummyoflittledragon · 12/05/2017 05:20

agree with arwaia.

Mummyoflittledragon · 12/05/2017 05:21

araiwa even.

Helbelle75 · 12/05/2017 05:24

Another mfl teacher here.
I always do half the test fr>eng and half eng>fr, that way they should all get at least 10 if they've done the homework. I certainly don't make them read out scores. I also go through learning techniques with them.
Any with low scores I will speak to and see if there's a specific reason or if I can help. If they have consistently low scores then they would have to come to a break time session on techniques for learning words.
I have had a few queries from parents about this but they are always happy when I explain it's not a detention but additional support.
We do a lot of other things in lesson, such as culture and history which can be really interesting for them, as well as research projects. Mfl can really support literacy and most other subjects soni would argue that it's useful for all students.

mathanxiety · 12/05/2017 05:35

The only thing I would write to the teacher about is requiring the students to tell the class their scores. This is appalling.

But I don't think she should have to do the test again. I don't think she should have to do any spelling tests.

BestIsWest · 12/05/2017 05:55

I've got two dyslexics who struggled massively with spelling and had no hope when it came to languages. I saw how much effort they put in.
I'd be incensed if a teacher made them read their scores out to the class and I think you should complain about that.

Nothing to be gained by humiliating a child. Your poor DD.

FloofyCat · 12/05/2017 06:41

My DS does not do a MFL due to their SN. I couldn't disagree more with Floral (sorry!) and I don't see that framing as being excused because they do not "want" to do it is helpful at all.

It is a fact of life that for some DC with SN it's not that they don't want to, it's because they can't, or can't without significant additional help and input. Sometimes this time (and effort!) allowed for this additional help and input would benefit the student more if it was used elsewhere.

For example, DS has additional 1-2-1 (from an external service) when they would usually have MFL timetabled, which gives him a greater chance of increasing his literacy skills. For some children, gaining (for example) 5 Cs (or new equivalent) in GCSEs including maths and English is a much better outcome than 8 or 9 grades at E or F levels.

Surely this is the whole point of EHCPs etc, to allow for more tailored provision for our DCs with SN. There simply can't be a one size fits all for some children.

TheoriginalLEM · 12/05/2017 07:22

Just received an email from her head of year as i couldn't email the teacher directly. They said they will discuss how they think to help dd with this. They get up early do teachers!!

I know what pp mean about the achievement of doing better in the test and whilst i agree in principle, i know my dd and don't feel that she actually would be able to do it. Her teachers will i am sure know if she will benefit from redoing the test so i will of course respect their decision.

I think i did the right thing sending the email as her hoy said they can only sort out problems if they are aware of them.

OP posts:
KoalaDownUnder · 12/05/2017 07:24

That sounds v reasonable. And I do agree that getting them to say their marks out loud is horrible!

I hope your daughter gets an outcome that helps her.

Iggi999 · 12/05/2017 07:40

She hasn't reached y7 with dyslexia without already learning how to "persevere" and "try harder" Hmm
Trying harder won't necessarily mean a better mark next time when it's in a area where her dyslexia causes significant disadvantage.

BestIsWest · 12/05/2017 07:43

Completely agree Floofycat.

BestIsWest · 12/05/2017 07:44

And Iggi999

Lapinlapin · 12/05/2017 09:09

Glad you've had a reply. Your dd's school sounds quite supportive which is good.

Would it be worth asking if she could be tested verbally on vocab? So next time the class has a vocab test, the teacher could not ask her to say the Spanish/English. It would still show whether she'd done the homework and learned the words, but wouldn't be a spelling test. Obvs it would have to be done at the v beg or end of the lesson, but might be possible if school is supportive.

TatianaLarina · 12/05/2017 09:25

A friend of mine who is quite severely dyslexic is also fluent in French, which she learnt at school.

Her spelling in French is as bad as it is in English but orally she is fine.

She said she found learning another language helped her English.

Don't write it off as impossible and help her understand that it doesn't actually matter how she does in the spelling tests if she enjoys the lessons.

user1491148352 · 12/05/2017 09:28

Small point, but while her dyslexia will make reading and writing in the target language more difficult it will not impact on her ability to speak and understand so she can still do well in those areas!

grannytomine · 12/05/2017 09:43

I don't have dyslexia and none of my children do but I am surprised that people on here with dyslexia or with friends who have dyslexia think everyone with dyslexia will be the same.

I don't have any special needs with regards to learning but I can say my best subject at school was history, according to people on here that must mean that everyone without special needs must be good at history. That's right isn't it, someone's dyslexic friend is really good at a MFL so obviously that means everyone with dyslexia can be the same.

Interestingly as someone with no special needs I was rubbish at MFL, maybe I'd have done better if I had dyslexia.

MissEDashwood · 12/05/2017 10:18

I just think it's misleading, it's not a detention, it's a teacher giving up their break to give additional support. If the pupils do better second time around they'll feel better and motivated. I don't see it as a punishment at all, so it's not a detention, it's a dedicated teacher who wants the class to progress.

fannydaggerz · 12/05/2017 10:26

Is she severely dyslexic?

You can request that she doesn't do another language considering she struggles with the English language.

Iggi999 · 12/05/2017 10:58

There should be time built into classtime to do it again if it's important. I doubt there's a child on the planet who wouldn't see that as a form of punishment. If I set that it would be a mild threat/incentive to do your homework. But this pupil did do her homework.

MuseumGardens · 12/05/2017 13:04

I've read through all your posts but not the other replies. I think they shouldn't get them to say what they got to the class. If your dd revised the right words then she probably shouldn't have to do them again, but you said she may have revised the wrong words? If that's the case then it would be good to revise the right ones and do the test as it would help her. I don't think of this sort of thing as a detention like you've acknowledged, just the teacher giving up their time to help them improve.

catkind · 12/05/2017 20:12

I just think it's misleading, it's not a detention, it's a teacher giving up their break to give additional support. If the pupils do better second time around they'll feel better and motivated.
Really? My school used to give repeat tests at break time, I don't remember anyone coming out of them feeling motivated, and they rarely came out with better scores either. Unfortunately it was mostly just detention for the less able. The same poor kids lost their break time every week. Perhaps if they really wanted to offer support they could spend the break time teaching the kids better ways to learn vocab.

TheoriginalLEM · 12/05/2017 20:25

Both her head of house and form tutor spoke to dd today and reassured her it was ok and not to worry. They didn't say if she had to redo the test or not. I said to dd if she does she does and we'll have a look over the spellings again and maybe get her tutor to go through them again. i explained it wasn't a punishment and her teacher isn't cross which is what was worrying her.

I think,on reflection, that it would be sad if she were to drop languages so young as a few of the teachers have said, its about different cultures also. I don't envision her continuing with languages to gcse.

Can anyone recommend an app that could hrlp her verbally?

OP posts:
Lapinlapin · 12/05/2017 20:34

Duolingo is said to be good.
Memrise is also good for learning vocab - she can enter her own words, so might help her learn vocab lists.

I'd also recommend fun stuff, so maybe listen to Spanish music etc. In fact I'm sure I heard a Spanish song on the radio, so maybe there's one in the charts.

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