To request dd does not do her "detention "

[TheoriginalLEM]

That she may not even gave.

My dd is in y7 and a conscientious student very shy . The big issue is she is severely dyslexic. She gets good support for this in school and has additional tuition from a dyslexia tutor. She has actually done amazingly well considering and i am SO proud of her.

So this week her homework was to revise for a spelling test in Spanish. She didn't want me to help but asked her tutor if they could use the session to go through it and they made a flash card game to do. She also "revised" last night although she could probably use help but she gets very streesed so i let her do it herself.

So despite putting in the effort her score was predictably low and she only got 3 out of 20 something. She also thinks she may have been confused as she said she feels she rebised the wrong words.

So they had to read their scores out to the class but dd was too embarrassed and refused - she said her teacher was understanding and didn't push her (as i say dd is a conscientious child and wasn't being difficult just mortified and upset).

I wonder if the general level wasn't great as her teacher has said that those who achieved under 10 will have to repeat the test during break after the next lesson.

Now i asked dd if she clarified with her teacher that she would have to do this but she said she was too upset to ask.

Dd was distraight as she just wanted to do well and says she is rubbish at Spanish. I explained that her dyslexia will make languages really hard for her and tgat maybe she shouldn't worry too much as she can drop the subject in yr 9 (i think) but to just do her best but accept that it wont be her strongest subject in any way. that she is brilliant at other things and that through sheer determination English is actually her strongest subject. But i can see how trying to learn another language that doesn't follow the same rules as English would be ridiculously difficult for someone who is dyslexic.

I have emailed the teacher explaining that she did do her homework and used her tuition session to learn the words, the confusion over the list and to ask that she be excused from the detention. I have said i am happy to go through the correct list with her at home.

I don't want to use dyslexia as a get out clause but i feel it is unfair and really bad for dd's self esteem to be penalised for it.

as i said the school have been very supportive of dd and she has several interventions to help her. She also is able to use a word processor as her hand writing is illegible. So she may not even have to go but i want to reassure dd she isn't in trouble.

I can however appreciate how it might cause difficulties for the teacher if she is seen to let one pupiil off.

Interestingly, Spanish is known as one of the most dyslexic-friendly languages because it has very phonetic spelling. I've even heard people say that some students who are dyslexic in English wouldn't be diagnosed with dyslexia in Spain because spelling there is much easier.

So maybe you should be encouraging her and pushing her to do well in languages.

There may be people with dyslexia who are great linguists but this child is finding the subject distressing and humiliating and it sounds like it is further eroding her self-esteem which isn't great as it is.

All that will be achieved by continuing with this subject is more stress and upset. That is likely to have a negative effect on her other learning and could kick off a vicious circle of her feeling worse and achieving less in school in general as a result.

Surely it's better she is included with the others who got less than 10, than singled out as the 'kid with dyslexia'

YABU - she should sit in the extra lesson

Being dyslexic doesn't mean she won't ever learn another language, I have managed to learn 3, however Spanish completely defeated me, so please don't write languages off completely.

Anyway, detention, I think your email to the teacher sounds fine and its obviously important to your DD that her teacher knows she did her best, I hope the teacher either doesn't make her stay or explains its not a punishment and she isn't cross with DD, just trying to offer extra support.

Frogslegs - i am always praising her and telling her how brilliant she is. She actually excels in other sibjects so telling her not to stress over something that doesn't fit in with her life plans (she wants to study animal behaviour at phd level and be a freelance dog trainer and i honestly believe she will achieve this) that is causeling her distrss is not telling her she is not achieving t but that languages are not her "thing"

I realise it's annoying but I don't think she should be excused , where would it end if everyone opted out of things they find difficult ,even with a medical excuse.

causeling?? my fingers are dyslexic

are you being serious Flora?

I think it's wrong of you to dismiss Spanish and say it's dead for her. Dyslexics actually do really well in Spanish (I've done 12 years at an inclusive school with severely dyslexic children) As mentioned, it's phonetic, so may actually be easier than English in terms of spelling. I'd ask the SEN dept to put in her profile of needs that she doesn't do Spanish homework, but don't dismiss it. Many of my dyslexic students keep up fine with the non-dyslexic ones. My Year 8 group has 2 dyslexic girls, both are achieving the same level as the brightest girl in the class.

As a fellow dyslexic i hated foreign languages at school as it was a huge struggle and destroyed my confidence. My worse nightmare. Resitting a test would be pointless as i didnt understand to start with. In adult life ive travelled and can get by with a few words, strangely picking up some german without realising it. Learning outside the classroom works better.

Absolutely , my ds is deaf and really struggled with languages because he relied heavily on lip reading and you can't lip read words you don't know but I didn't ask for him to be excused . Many people have to do things they don't want despite disablilties another example would be people with number dyslexia - do we excuse them from maths ?

Actually, Spanish is one of the most accessible for dyslexic students to learn as it's largely phonetic. And interestingly in Germany, where the most logically phonetic European language is used, dyslexia is largely unknown.

Dyslexia is a condition, not an illness. The best way forward here would be to have a 'can do' approach to encouraging her with the Spanish. Managing her dyslexia is a skill she will need in later life and the earlier coping strategies are encouraged and developed, both at home and school, the better. Two of the best linguists I have ever taught in my 22 years have been dyslexic.

Well my dd has had her fair share of battling to do things she finds difficult, she couldn't read at all at the beginning of year 5. She now reads at least a book a week and is working at a level that preficts an A grade at gcse once dyslexia is accounted for. Why set this back??

Am going to have a conversation eith school on how to go forward with this.

Don't push for her to be removed from Spanish. MFLs teach kids so much more than vocabulary. They learn so much about other cultures and communication skills to boot. We would NEVER remove a kid from MFLs in our school because they were dyslexic or weren't enjoying them! Sometimes we need to learn that we can't just shelf the bad stuff, we need to find ways round it. Another vital life skill. And I agree 100% that this isn't a detention, it's the teacher encouraging pupils to hone their skills. Have you spoken to the SENCO about this OP? Their advice is vital for disseminating coping strategies for situations exactly like this one.

MSL will def talk to SENCO and will be led by them. Generally i can't fault the school on their support of dd so far so do trust them.

I do feel that i need to flag up that dd is struggling and not enjoying this subject as she is enthusiastic about most other subjects.

It is completely common to do this in my dd school. Fair enough that you discuss with the teacher ways to help your dd, but it is far better for your ds not to be singled out I would have thought. Good luck though, its always a bit of a shock when High School kicks in. Try and encourage your dd to relax and not to worry quite so much. My dd is the same, she is now in year 9 and has only had one detention (although I know this wasn't detention as such). I told her that it was a "right of passage" to get at least one detention xx.

From a teachers point of view... if I were you I wpuld send a Email to teacher. This is a pretty standard thing teachers do as a quick easy no marking homework task .. ensue it is done by the "score less than x and come back to redo " and teacher may just overlooked the fact your DD is dyslexic. I know that's bad but if she is in Y7 she may only see this teacher once a week and this teacher may have 20 groups of 32 students ... I have done similar stupid things like made a comment about presentation in a student s book who has severe issues with writing etc ... it was just because they handed in their books open so I hadn't looked at names .. so a non aggressive email from parent was appreciated to be honest ! I have at least 4 or 5 students per class with their own learning plans and I teach 14 groups of 25 to 34 students so took a while to get to know them all!

I think as long as you don't go in all guns blazing a quick email directly to the teacher without copying in the entire of the senior leader team will be helpful. Say you DD wants to do well and is there a way to support her with his and you are mindful she may not do any better and she is worried about this .

I'm severely dyslexic and have to work longer and harder than other students to achieve the same result. You won't do your dd any favours by giving her a get out clause on account of the dyslexia - she didn't learn the words and got a really low result and now she must face the consequences. Next time get her a language app or prepare online flash cards, use coloured inserts, and get her to speak as she writes/reads every morning - that's how I got my A stars at GCSE.

She did learn the fucking words !

Snap - you have raised a really good point - her teacher is new and she has had several Spanish teachers as her original teacher leftdue to poor health.

Email was definitely not all guns blazing and i made a point of saying that my dd likes her teacher and was not critical in any way.

Will await their reply.

Absolutely reasonable to tell the teacher she is struggling , she may have some strategies to help .

This is so similar to what we are going through. My dd is the same age and is awaiting the results for her dyslexia test but its basically a certainety.

She had a maths test last week and studied for hours and hours. I helped her as she couldn't really understand things lile chamging percentages into decimals. I thought shed grasped it but she got 9 out of 65. Her teacher was making them read ir out and said my dd obviously hadnt studied or studied the wrong thing and reading the low score would be "her punishment".

It massively affects their self esteem. If they can't understand something and its too complex even with the extra support. It would be crazy to keep forcing her to redo it when she will inevitably get a low score and have it affect her self esteem even more.

My dd also has poor short term memory. So going away having learned something, it can be forgotten by the next day how to do the equation. Shes been getting help for this but they reckon its linked to possibly dyslexia and dyspraxia.

If someone is always being told they have to work twice as hard as other students to get to the same place, how can that not dishearten them and for some, turn them off school altogether? Your dad should not have to miss a break due to having a learning disability.
What does your tutor think about this? (Assuming she might be a teacher)

You said in your OP that she felt she had revised the wrong words though. Can you check with the teacher which words she was supposed to have revised?

I can't see the issue, how will she learn otherwise. You don't want her becoming one of these adults I know who use their dyslexia as an excuse for everything. It's a break time not a whole lunch.

One chose a career entirely unsuitable and nearly killed someone as their right to be a nurse, trumped patients safety, even though comprehension was poor. Of course it was the hospitals fault. Twat! (Well I guess it was but you have to take some accountability)

I think it was wrong for you to email the teacher over this. You should have encouraged your daughter to speak to the teacher and check the vocabulary list. You could then help her practice again at home. She's not a baby anymore and learning to ask for help is an important life skill. Trying again is an important life skill.