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Original poster

She called security on me for toddler in car.... WTF??

249 replies

JustWantedPetrol · 11/05/2017 16:10

Left my toddler in the car to pay for petrol - I could see him while paying - and a stupid woman called security cause my 3yo was crying and shouldn't be left in car...... Eh??
WTAF? She's never seen parents leave kids in the car to pay for petrol? WTF is that about?

OP posts:
IWantAPinkHouse · 12/05/2017 08:56

My dc has only just stopped crying when she can't see me at 5. I always leave her in the car when paying for petrol but even after explain exactly what I'm doing she would still cry.

Tazerface · 12/05/2017 09:02

IWant - you have never been out of her sight?! Really?! So she didn't go to nursery or ever even face away from you at playgroup or something? Yikes.

Mine might cry but tough luck tbh. Needs must.

Dianneabbottsmathsteacher · 12/05/2017 10:32

But so your 5 year old hasn't started school? Or been to nursery? Blimey I must have been a tough cookie because being welded to a child by 5 would drive me insane.

TheRealPooTroll · 12/05/2017 10:48

Nah not having this thread. How do you know she 'called security'? Surely she'd have had to call the shop who presumably would have just asked whoever was in the queue. She may have mentioned it to the security guard on the way in but you seem insistent that she called. And, equally, the security guard may have just seen that your child was crying. You could see him so presumably he could be seen from the door.
All that has happened is that someone gave you a heads up that your child was upset. They were probably trying to be helpful. Yabu to be talking about being reported etc.
And also there is such a thing as pay at the pump.

PenelopeFlintstone · 12/05/2017 11:44

In my part of Australia, we all leave our kids in the car while we pay for petrol.

ittakes2 · 12/05/2017 11:46

Quoted from the OP:
Yes it's a small waitrose and while in the queue I noticed her park next to me and going in without filling up
On my way out he stopped me and she was behind him, he was ok about it but he did say "you know your baby is crying!!"
So the lady didn't see you park as you were in the queue when she arrived - she noticed a baby crying and told the security guard already on the door on the way in. If she didn't see you park I'm not sure how she knew it was even your child? Sounds like the security guard had worked out it was your child.
You know, I get that you are annoyed as you thought his comments meant you had done something wrong - but there is a perspective that this woman just thought she should tell someone the baby was crying incase the parent wanted to know. It's not necessarily a judgement on her part about children being left in the car or not. For all we know she doesn't have children and is not used to them crying in the car at petrol stations or she comes from a country like australia where it's illegal to leave have them in the car until 12. Is she such a bad person or it really the security guard who may have over reacted just made you feel bad?
I'm just saying as it's nice in a community to have other people watching out for each other - and if we are always so critical when someone thinks they are helping than it stops people helping.

kel1493 · 12/05/2017 11:54

I don't drive, but no way in hell would I dream of leaving my child in the car to pay. Sorry.

BusterGonad · 12/05/2017 12:12

I always leave mine in the car, who in there right mind fucks about with young kids and petrol and cars???
Sorry Kel but as a non driver I don't think you understand how bloody hard it'll be to take your kid out every time you get petrol!

Cornishware · 12/05/2017 12:25

Kel, I wouldn't rule,out you changing your mind if you ever do drive! I don't think I have seen anyone take their DS out to pay, I'm going to keep an eye out next time I get petrol.

BusterGonad · 12/05/2017 12:33

I've never seen anyone take their kids with them to pay unless they are buying stuff in the shop too!

LagunaBubbles · 12/05/2017 13:26

I don't drive, but no way in hell would I dream of leaving my child in the car to pay. Sorry

As you said you dont drive. Lots of people have lists of things they think they will do and dont do for their child before its born. That soon changes!

Pukepukepuke · 12/05/2017 14:20

I never leave mine in the car. Even if they are asleep, even if I can see it.

kaytee87 · 12/05/2017 14:20

If he's crying, he's either scared or sick

GrinGrinGrin my 9mo cried because I took the leaf he was trying to eat out of my hand.
My 2yo nephew cried when I told him that he couldn't take my ds to nursery with him.

IWantAPinkHouse · 12/05/2017 15:49

Oh no she absolutely goes to school and went to nursery from 2! She just doesn't seem to like being on her own if she knows I'm around.

Tbf to her she has been ok since about 4.5 in the car left alone, but even so I wouldn't give in and take her with me.

sailorcherries · 12/05/2017 17:06

innurendo I apologise. I woke up from a pregnancy induced cat nap and responded to you. I genuinely didn't see/conprehend the part about being pissed haha!

On a slight tangent I remember my parents would leave us sleeping in the car, on the driveway, if we dozed off while on the way home (unless it was dark). We're talking from about the ages of 5-9ish, depending on the time and length of journey.

We'd wake up and go back inside the house or in to the garden if they were sat outside. No trauma here.

Partypooper4 · 12/05/2017 17:27

At the risk of getting flamed here...

I have 3 small children (all under 4) when I go get petrol I leave them in the car, I walk in and pay. I can see the car AT ALL TIMES... There is no way I would be getting three children out of the car when it takes all of 30 seconds for me to pop in and pay... in my opinion it would me more unsafe for me to take them out of their seats, drag them across a petrol station forecourt and then fasten them all back in again.

I also go to my local shop if I need milk... park right outside and run in... again I can see them at all times...

If they fall asleep in the car, I shut the gates and lock the car (unless it's a hot day in which case obviously not) and I go into my kitchen and get on with jobs... I leave the kitchen door open so I can see the car at all times...

I'm guessing I'm the minority... my kids are fine... I don't think I'm damaging them!

Hairandbeauty123 · 12/05/2017 17:44

If I took my lot out of the car to pay for petrol it would (a) take so long! (B) piss off the next person waiting for the pump because of the length of time it took to get them in and out! ! (C) cost me far more in sweets and treats than the fuel actually cost! (D) cause absolute chaos and get us all banned from said petrol station for a very long time!

It really isn't that big of a deal if you can see your children and they are still barking and snarling out of the open windows like rabid dogs waiting for someone to throw them a milkybar!!

AlexRose5 · 12/05/2017 17:47

Erm.... torn on this one OP!
When I need petrol I purposely go to the "pay at pump" station if my 2 yr old is in the car, just so I don't have to walk across a forecourt . I see quite a few people with kids in cars going in and paying without taking their kids out, and they're only ever gone a couple of minutes .... but it's a personal preference of mine to take them in with me or go to a pay at pump station. I'd just personally be too nervous to leave mine in the car .
I don't think calling security was necessary in this case though. If you'd gone on a shopping spree that's different but paying for petrol is a matter of minutes.

Fink · 12/05/2017 17:48

Happened to me, only there were police on site so somebody told them. I was gone by the time they came over, none the wiser, but the police got my address (presumably using the forecourt cctv to trace my reg) and came round my house later that afternoon to tell me off! Hmm

Oblomov17 · 12/05/2017 17:50

TOTALLY disagree with 'Hibble' at begging of thread.

Teutonic · 12/05/2017 17:58

I always left my kids in the car when I paid for my fuel. Sometimes I would leave them in the car while it was parked on the drive way if they had fallen asleep. AND omg I headed too leave them outside shops in their buggies too.
Strangely, they were never clingy and have reached adulthood without being mentally scarred.
I also leave my grandkids in the car when I pay for fuel, the terrible grandmother that I am.
Their parents also leave them in the car while they pay for fuel. Quite normal.
Three year olds cry for absolutely nothing sometimes. My three year old granddaughter cried when I collected her from nursery today because she wanted me to be driving my red car instead of her grandads white one. Full on tantrum.
If that woman had called security to me I would have laughed in her face.

Teutonic · 12/05/2017 17:59

Used to, not headers too.
My phone is pished!

yerbutnobut · 12/05/2017 18:00

never would leave young child in car at petrol station, last year round here a dumb ass lit a cigarette going across forecourt after paying for petrol, spilt petrol and fumes lit and 2 cars took hold of flames in minutes, if anyone had been in them they wouldn't have survived it.
Only takes a minute and you can keep an eye on your child all you like but it just shows its other people that need to be kept an eye on.

Dionne1707777 · 12/05/2017 18:01

Having worked in a petrol station, you most definitely leave those munchkins in the car!! It's far safer, especially when actually filling up.
This lovely lady had her 4yo DGS with her one day and he was waiting every so patiently next to her while she was filling up, until he got bored after 30 seconds and grabbed the flipping nozzle!! Unleaded petrol in his eyes, mouth and all down him!! It was awful. I washed his eyes and mouth out as best I could and stripped his clothes straight off but it was already turning his poor skin red. Luckily my house was across the road and my hubby came with fresh clothes and took the lady and her GS up the hospital. Everything turned out ok but it was still awful.
Leaving your child while paying is the most responsible thing to do. OP just unluckily came across a busybody that needs to get a grip! Kids cry 😭

Busybusybust · 12/05/2017 18:14

:shakes head: sometimes mumsnet is completely insane! So you are seriously going to unbuckle 3 small children to take them a few yards into the kiosk to pay?? Much more danger from the other cars on the way, I would have thought.