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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

She called security on me for toddler in car.... WTF??

249 replies

JustWantedPetrol · 11/05/2017 16:10

Left my toddler in the car to pay for petrol - I could see him while paying - and a stupid woman called security cause my 3yo was crying and shouldn't be left in car...... Eh??
WTAF? She's never seen parents leave kids in the car to pay for petrol? WTF is that about?

OP posts:
Topas0117 · 11/05/2017 19:37

People just love the opportunity to be a have-a-go hero Angry

EweAreHere · 11/05/2017 19:40

She was a cow.

Popping in to pay for petrol on a forecourt is not the same as leaving your child in the car while you go shopping.

RoseGoldHippie · 11/05/2017 19:44

YADNBU OP - I was told off over the tanoy for taking a child out of my car in the forecourt once. Can't have it both ways - I assume the doors were locked

mommybunny · 11/05/2017 19:44

A PP asked why people don't just pay at the pump - there is only one station near me that has that facility. All the rest require you to go to the kiosk.

grogsygreen · 11/05/2017 19:46

Actually got bollocked once by the cashier for getting my 3 year old out when putting the petrol in the car- under 18's not allowed on the petrol forecourt or some such rubbish. So you just can't win can you? I always left my kids in the car after that when nipping in to pay-better still go to a pay at the pump one if available....

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 11/05/2017 19:48

I'm sorry but I'm with her. All she seen was a distresses child. She did what she thought was right.

Screwinthetuna · 11/05/2017 19:58

How odd! I don't think I've ever seen anyone get their children out the car to go and pay for petrol. Did she actually think you'd parked your car up and gone to a local bar? She sounds like the type of woman to tut when you let your child sit in the big part of the shopping trolley.

MooPointCowsOpinion · 11/05/2017 19:58

I'm another worrier that doesn't leave my kids when I get petrol. I go to a pay at pump, if I have to fill up quickly, otherwise I will fill up when I'm alone. I'm worried about kidnappers, explosions, like pp said, but also I'm just worried they'll be sad or frightened.

I've just started leaving them in the car when I get cash out, and even then only if I'm parked next to the cash point.

If I saw a crying child alone in a car I would wait by the car until the parent returned. In fact I've done that before, and the mum took over half an hour and it was a hot day, so the police got to the car before she did as I called them.

KickAssAngel · 11/05/2017 20:14

(slight tangent - I live in one of the states mentioned upthread where you can't leave a kid in the car until they're 12. This is because the temp. can be as low as -40 or go up to +40. Therefore cars can very quickly be a dangerous temperature to a young child. BUT - all gas stations are pay at the pump, so people would actually be going into a store to buy things, rather than simply paying. It's also far less humid, so there are some cases of static sparks causing petrol/gas to ignite, hence the whole 'cars can just combust' fear.)

Laurendisorder · 11/05/2017 20:20

I heard a young child (3ish) on the DLR tonight crying - he had a very good reason - he was saying (very loudly between tears) 'but I want to go to a meeting - why can't I go to a meeting' ! Might have made for a good meeting - I thought he had a point!

GabsAlot · 11/05/2017 20:21

wheres all these waitrose petrol stattions-are they really expensive?

anywho no i dont think yabu at all-a people have said its more dangerous to take them out

Topseyt · 11/05/2017 20:27

Not all fuel stations have pay at the pump. Our local one still doesn't. You have to go into the shop.

Mine are all older now and when they were babies and toddlers pay at the pump was only just coming in.

I always left them in the car when I went to pay. Sometimes they cried, but I left them to it as I was only going to be a couple of minutes. They did not come to any harm, I could see them all of the time and they did not spontaneously combust.

The woman the OP encountered was a busy body with way too much time on her hands.

LivininaBox · 11/05/2017 20:27

When you say "she called security", do you mean she mentioned it to the security guard standing by the door? So that he could put out a tannoy announcement or whatever? Hardly warrants calling her " a cow".

By the way I never leave my kids in the car because I know they wouldn't like it, I fill up when they aren't there or if that fails I go to a pay at pump station.

woodhill · 11/05/2017 20:32

Never took my 3 out of car to pay for petrol, it was hard enough getting them from A to B. I was in and out, no supermarket type forecourts then.

Violetcharlotte · 11/05/2017 20:34

Bet she was a Mumsnetter Grin

My kids are older now but it would never have crossed my mind to get them out of the car at a petrol station. And I don't think I've ever seen any once else do it either.

Goldmandra · 11/05/2017 20:50

I once parked next to someone who had parked very badly in the next to the last space at a Tesco Express. By parking in the last remaining space, I effectively prevented him from getting to his drivers door. Plenty of room on the passenger side though.

I went to pick up a couple of things and, in the checkout queue, I could hear him complaining at the manager. When he had no joy about me stopping him getting to his car, he moved onto complaining about me leaving a child in the car.

I followed them out and he started ranting at me as he saw me approach my car. I smiled sweetly, told him that his parking had caused the problem, not mine and reassured the manager that my 13 year old had been fine in the car alone for a couple of minutes.

fortunacookie · 11/05/2017 20:54

Safer for kids to stay in car. End. Of.

ittakes2 · 11/05/2017 20:57

How did she know how long you'd already been or were going to be away or even who you were? She saw a young child crying and did something about it.
I took my children with me into petrol stations with me to pay until they were about 8. My hubby works in transport and his knowledge of accidents around petrol wouldn't let me keep them in the car until they were old enough to be aware of their environment. I once had an accident with petrol at a station where there was a problem with the spout and I was drenched in petrol when it sprayed all over me.

42andcounting · 11/05/2017 21:22

Flipping heck, my 3 yo cries while we are using the pay at pump, tank is on the same side as her car seat, and even does it if I wave at her through the window and clown around, which is normally the funniest thing in the world. Unfortunately my car will not run on fresh air, so some amount of crying just has to happen sometimes Hmm. I think this is just one of those "can't win" situations, someone will always think what you're doing is wrong, as long as you've assessed the risks yourself, you just have to ignore them.

MothertotheLordsofmisrule · 11/05/2017 21:44

I leave mine in the car.

Saves being fleeced for snacks and comics.

JaxingJump · 11/05/2017 21:48

God forbid a child is crying. You could have brought dc with you and they'd still be crying.

It's pretty OTT to call security in a petrol forecourt. Parent is obviously quickly paying for petrol.

Tazerface · 11/05/2017 22:51

'I worry the kids will be scared or frightened'

Are you fucking kidding?! Is this because of all those stories about those kids absolutely traumatised about being left for maybe 3 minutes in a car on their own?! Or just PFB?!

Honestly I just cannot fathom some people.

Charlie97 · 12/05/2017 02:59

I took my children with me into petrol stations with me to pay until they were about 8. My hubby works in transport and his knowledge of accidents around petrol wouldn't let me keep them in the car until they were old enough to be aware of their environment. I once had an accident with petrol at a station where there was a problem with the spout and I was drenched in petrol when it sprayed all over me.

Please do tell some of these stories your husband has? I've not heard of any fatal forecourt accidents involving children left in cars?

And you got covered in petrol? So presumably had your child been also out of the car they would also be covered in petrol? So.....if they'd been safely in the car, they would not be covered in petrol?

Just saying!!!

Charlie97 · 12/05/2017 03:05

By the way I never leave my kids in the car because I know they wouldn't like it, I fill up when they aren't there or if that fails I go to a pay at pump station

I preferred to bring my kids up facing reality, sometimes you have to be in situations you don't 100 per cent like. In order that the car gets you from
Home to park to swimming blah blah. You need to give it fuel. This is why I need to fill the car with petrol, it won't take long and it'll be worth it.

How did you get on when "they didn't like going to bed" or "didn't like getting hair washed" just arrange that never happened either?

Ginger782 · 12/05/2017 03:16

Here in my state in Australia it's against the law to leave a child under the age of 12 alone in a vehicle for any period of time if the child is likely to become emotionally distressed.

☆FUN FACT☆